left when i need him the most

MamaT

My husband & i have been married 5yrs now....we have 3boys n another boy on the way soon. Every so often he'll go through depressions of life n his way of coping with it, is Leaving me & our kids. Sometimes he'll find other girls/women to talk to or he'll blame me for his reasons for Leaving.....either way, he always ends up coming back n of course i take him back. He recently left AGAIN m at 34was preggos when i need him the most, he walks out on us AGAIN. I am so hurt that this happened AGAIN n it will probably happen over and over again....now after looking foward to giving birth, im trying to hold baby in as long as i can......

stacyrae

Omg I'm so sorry....that's bull crap. He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish...

[Deleted User]

You need to leave him....that is not what marriage or love is about.

He only does it bc he knows you will take him back, you gotta love yourself enough to tell him to keep it moving.

And he needs to grow the hell up and take care of his family. Men like that disgust me.

jcmommy

You need to put your foot down and tell him its time to man up and quit running away from his problems and his family. He continues to do it because you keep taking him back. When he tries to come back, make him wait a few weeks and then take him back. Let him suffer.

KrazymomofAdrian

@newmommy_navywife is right. He needs to get his depression under control or you need to leave him. Sorry hun good luck.

vtmamajuju

Sure be nice if you could leave when the going got tough, don't you agree? But you don't, because you're an adult. Tell him to grow up, you have enough children to raise.

Mindy061606

Im so sorry None of you deserve it, but especially your kids! Kids without stability can run into many problems, including in their own relationships down the road. I pray he can get help and be there for you guys!

rckprincess2

I had an ex-boyfriend that did that. He would get all depressed and left twice. The third time he stayed gone. I refused to take him back. I changed my locks changed my phone number and that was it. His things were sitting outside when he tried to come back and get it while I was at work. He kicked a dent in my door and that is the last time I've heard from him. Don't let him treat you like that. He's not showing you the respect you deserve by acting like a child and quiet running away from his problems.

mrs_shu

Is he on any meds or has he gone to therapy/counseling for it? I hope you don't believe him when he blames you.

MamaT

I agree with you all.....and i beat myself up all the time when i take him back so easily.....i guess i create more of a monster by making it easy for him to come and go as he pleases....im not dependant on him bcz i know life goes on...i think what holds me from letting him go is seeing my children jus be walked out on like that. We're both from divorced homes, his was a lot worse, and maybe thats y hes like that?. I know we all deserve better, maybe i jus care TOO much. He hasnt gotten help bcz as usual he thinks he doesnt have a problem.....no one but himself can fix it but him. For now im tryin my best to stay strong for our children and our baby thats on his way.....esp after being admitted to the hospital last week bcz of STRESS and dehydration....i consider that a wake up call for me....but bottom line is Yes, he NEEDS TO GROW UP

MamaT

@oregonmama
I agree with u....hes a great father n husband WHEN he has his head on right. I really feel he needs help. As a wife, i believe that she molds or sets the tone of her family's home...if i threw my hands in the air like he did, our kids would def be screwed up n who knows where. I know he doesnt care so why should i right? I believe that my examples will teach my children not to walk away n give up when its hard. They understand, n sadly for him they know his pattern as well....n that will b his loss not ours. Life goes on with or without him n I never hold my breath when he leaves.....I'd rather he call or show up when tension is gone bcz it makes things worse. I don't see a problem with us ever moving on and finding a man or father figure who is more stable...but for my personal beliefs n morals I have for myself, giving up on him would make me a hiprocrit

magcaw

You're right, he needs to grow up or he needs to get out. I totally understand not wanting to your children to come from a divorced home, but what they're going through right now is a thousand times worse. You are their voice--their ONLY voice--and you are their rock. You need to act the part, even if it breaks your heart to do it.

MamaT

@magcaw
I agree....ugh the sacrifices mothers/wives must make....I know things will be ok even without him in our lives:)