am i crazy to divorce him when im due in 2+ months???

wessy24

He acts like a bachelor. I haven't seen him since yesterday morning when I went to work. We have a 3 year old girl and r due with another girl late September. He drinks too much and then can't drive home. Told me he would be home today around noon and it's 8pm! He's so selfish and would much rather spend time with his friends than me and our daughter. We r barely making our bills but I make 2x what he does. I do not get paid while on maternity leave and my mortgage is almost $1000! When we fight its bad! Yelling in front of my daughter and I hate that! We r both stubborn and both always have to be right. But I could never leave my daughter for more than a couple.hours! He's done this so much in the past sometimes all wknd which is what this time is turning into. If I file for divorce ill have to borrow money from my mom and will only be able to take 4 weeks maternity leave. Opinions please!

jamiesandefur

No your not. Don't make the mistake i did. I was like we need to be together as a family and blah blah that it would be better for our daughter ( i was 5 months pregnant when i wanted to leave) I told him i needed space.. we lived together but just didn't do exactly everything together like we usually did.. I ended up feeling bad that we need to be together for our child.. I had our daughter, and fell into a deep depression, I lost all my weight in a week and was smaller than i was before i got pregnant. All i did was sleep and work, On my off days i would call my job (which i hated more than you can ever imagine) and see if i can come in. I ended up working 6 to 7 days a week for 3 months. I didn't eat, didn't do anything. I came home from work, went to bed, slept till i went back to work and that was at (2pm) and went to work came home and did it all over again till one day i woke up and thought... How is this any better for our daughter??? and he came home and i left him that day. To be honest he sounds like my ex.. Problem was, I grew up and he didn't.

MzKami

Well I am truly one that believes a wife and husband should try to work things out instead of a divorce however with that being said only you know when you are truly tired and done with someones bs. As a mother I always put my daughter first and I know that's not the type of enviroment and behavior you want her to see. I know I'm going to have to be an example for both my daughters to show them what okay and what's not as far as how a man that claims to love them should treat them and anyone else for that matter if you allow him to nistreat you she sees it and she is old enough to learn things at 3 babies these days are very very smart and I would suggest if you don't have the money for a divorce at the moment file for a legal separation and file for childsupport also just make sure you document everything from this point on like him being excessively drunk wanting to fight write down dates etc take pics if need be overall I say look out for you and your kids bc at the end of the day noone will love them or take care of them the way you can and one day it lord forbid might not just end with him being drunk or y'all fighting someone could get seriously hurt whatever you decide goodluck and best wishes

[Deleted User]

Yeah I believe in trying to work things out but if you don't have any Love for him. No point of trying out. Fighting in front of kids is not a good relationship. Sounds like you will be okay without him financially. how do you feel when you imagine your life without him?

wessy24

Thanks y'all! We were separated 2years ago but I gave him another chance. He didn't cheat but was going out all the time and drinking and not coming home. I told him then that if we continued to fight no matter how bad we want it to work we have to split for our daughters sake. He totally takes advantage of me and doesn't realize how good he has it. I've told him we need to be in church but Sundays he's too tired from Saturday night drinking or isn't even home. At this point I'd rather be alone than with him and miserable. My daughter just asked "where's daddy? I want to see him!" I called him so she could talk but no answer. I hate working BC I'm gone from her too much. I just don't understand.

wessy24

I still love him but at times like right noe I literally hate and despise him BC he's left me for 2 days and I'm exhausted! If he was here I'd be able to take a nap or atleast have a little help with our daughter and housework. All I remember about my parents was fighting and I don't want her to say the same thing. We r supposed to go to my nephews bday party and tour the hospital tomorrow but I guarantee he wont show. Which is fine with me now BC I'm so mad!

Kells32

We have similar stories.......I think you should do what is in your gut to do! I ignored mine for a long time......we have been seperated twice now and this time definately headed for divorce. It is so hard every day ......I mourn what could have been between us but I can honestly say that my life is more peaceful by myself (meaning living with out him) I never thought I would be a single mother of 3....but I am:( Now that I am pregnant with a little girl I have this intolerence for his disrespectful behavior and will do anything I can to make sure I am not a bad example of how to let a man treat you. Good luck and if you need to talk just message me and we can:)

MzKami

The saying is so true I can do bad all by myself no help needed with that don't allow him to take your happiness time and energy and I have a 19 month all and due this month on the 26th another girl same father I dread the day when she(the both of them) is actually old enoght o start asking constantly for their dad I don't know what I would tell them try and call him and give them the phone but one thing I do know is I won't talk ab him or our issues in front of them don't want to tant(sp) their view they will learn and form their own opinion just as one day ur little girl will and he will have nonoe to blame but himeself all we can do as mothers is do the best we can by them provide and love them

wessy24

@kells32 ill definitely msg u BC I need someone to talk to but don't really want to tell my family and friends. My daughter loves it when we r all together and happy but I feel like the worse person when she sees and hears us fight! Thanks for everyones advice. I think ill go file for separation and child support Friday(my off day) and hopefully that wont be too expensive.