what do i do when it comes to the "us" situations??? MEN PLEASE READ TOO!!!!

newmom2B

Idk how to handle all this chaos! I need him around. But he says he is getting tired of being around me. Its making me hate being pregnant. We have been together since before my freshmen year. And I will be graduating this year. I love him so much and we have been through a lot of hard times. I'm around him more than I am my family at home. There's not really any communication between us. Idk how he feels, he told me he loves me and wants the baby. But that's all I get out of him. To me he feels distant from me, since we found out. Is it bc I don't wanna have sex as offten, is it bc I'm gonna be fat soon, maybe Is it bc i like to go to bed early now. idk! Id rather keep him than let my belly&baby get in the freakin way. I need some men advice on this one. How do I keep him? And why is he being so distant from me? I don't mean to bitch so much I didn't even kno it was all my fault. What do I do for "us"??????

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Zbutt_Mom

I was a senior when I got preggo with my daughter I met her donor when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore
When we found out I was preggo we were broken up and he tried to play me saying if wasn't his etc big as the months went by we got back together and things were looking up he was sweet and everything I basically lived with him while preggo he started around two months after the baby then we started having issues broke up retired to wish out of didn't work notes I'm preggo again and where is he not here and now he has another girl preggo
Basically right now he probably scared hopefully he comes around and stays around

HonestlyHopeful

@newmom2b that was my exact situation when me and my boyfriend were first pregnant, unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage from all the stress in November 2010. Left me depressed, I broke up with him after cuz I realized how horribly he treated me while I was pregnant. I also learned that if I realized this earlier, I might still have my baby. Nothing hurt me more than knowing I let my boyfriend get in the way of a episcopal gift I loved so much. Eventually he came around and apologized, changed his ways and made everything alright. the most important lesson I learned while we were broken up after the m/c was that he needed soave but so did I. I learned to put myself and my needs first before I gave up anything for anyone else. We are now currently 9 weeks pregnant and hoping this is a keeper! He is aay way more supportive and excited about it all now. maybe you just need some space and remember how important you and your baby's life are.

artistmamma

None of this is your fault, hun. You got pregnant young, & perhaps he is just not ready, despite what he has said...or maybe he's just plain scared. This baby changes both of your lives forever, but there's not much you can do to keep him around. He was man enough to have sex, now he must be man enough to be a father. But whether or not he steps up? Only time will tell.

Right now, you need to focus on your health, your changing body, & your future. If the father sticks around, awesome! But if he doesn't, you're still going to be a mom & your little one is going to need you & love you SO much. S/he will absolutely change your life; how you think, how you make decisions, how you look towards the future.

I hope your man sticks with you & steps up to his responsibility. It took the two of you to create this life, & your baby deserves to know both parents & be close to you both. But if he bails on you, don't lose hope! He may still come around, even after his child is born. If not, he wasn't worth your time or energy, & the future will bring a good man into your life.
Best of luck, sweetie!!

newmom2B

@honestlyhopeful that too is what I'm afraid of.. a miscarriage. I want this baby more than I let to believe. But we fight and argure so much idk how to stop it all. I haven't even been to my first dr app yet. Our fighting is getting out of control. I keep telling myself that things will get better and he will come around. But its so hard sometimes to keep going. I feel like I got myself stuck sometimes. Its either him or the baby right now,it seems like. But if it aventually comes down to it how do I choose between someone I've loved for a really long time and someone I haven't even got to meet,feel, or hold yet? I feel lost nd confused. Does me thinking like that put me in the category of being a bad mom who isn't puting the baby first?

lae3

i can say space might do you guys some good.. try spejdng time with freinds.. and try not to appear so needy... i know.. i feel so needy right now... but what i wouldnt give for some alone time.. you have your whole life ahead of you.. and from experience most men ive known didnt settle down complearly till mid twenties... im not saying give up.. im just saying mabey be a lil more independent.. and if he loves you he will come around and for your sake i hope he does.. but like i said if he wants space give it to him.. cuz he may leave and take it anyways.. im just saying.. ive been with my man for ten years now.. i wish i would hav done it.. and then mabey it wouldnt have taken 5 years for him to appreciate me as a partener and wife.. i put myself through alot of heartache to be with him.. and now we are good.. but i wonder about life and all i missed trying to make him love me the way i loved him.. i was 17 when we got together... and im having his third child.
ive given him alot of time and energy... were still not merried.. my choice.. good luck.. oh and having mixed feelings about your preg isnt something you should feel guilty... just go through your feelings

kenziesmom216

im qoin thru dha same thinq . yuh jus qotta tske it day by day . so far weve ben ok buht definitley not lik how we used to b . jus wait til dha bby comes nd hopefully thinqs wil qet betta . hr may jus b nervous nd scared jus lik my boyfriend is . buht erythinq wil b okay soon qrl I promise . keep yuhr head up no matta wat . yuh qotta lil one to wry bout .

Mommyof4girls

My advice is forget him for now. Concentrate on you. Women are stronger than men and that baby and your health are more important than some tool who doesn't realize what a blessing he's been given.

I have 2 daughters. My oldest father left me 2 months pregnant because I refused an abortion, guess who's jealous of my life now.

My husband, who is not the same man as my older daughters dad, and I have a daughter with twins on the way he's an amazing daddy to both of our girls and will be to the twins we are expecting in June/July.

You can and will find someone if this guy doesn't step up to bat. Guys get scared and need help apologizing, so give him space and take care of you and your baby.

sariemama3

I was pregnant at 18 n my sons dad didn't want anything to do with him. Wut I came to realize is he did not matter. What mattered was I was given a precious little life n whether he was there or not my baby always would be n would love me unconditionally from here on out, n from that day forward I would live my lifefor me n my baby. My children r my life n will always be there when no one else is. So I guess I'm just sayin don't forget that u matter, ur baby matters n don't put him before u just because he doesn't want to. U are young n probably going thru a lot but like I said ur baby will always be in ur life n will be a part of u, if someone really loves a person neither should have to choose between their unborn child and their bf/gf.

broja9623

My advice to you is to concentrate on your baby!! Don't think that you did anything wrong cuze you didn't!! I was in a similar situation wit my 2nd pregnancy my hubby was happy and he said everything was gonna be ok!! But we kept on arguing almost everyday!!! I wanted to make everything better but at the same time I was stressing my self out and it isn't good for the baby!! Right now we aren't. In a good position are house burn we are rentig I'm not working so he has to pay for everything I thought that he was acting like that with me cuze he was stress or just worried about us and he woulnt tell me and we argue unfortunately I believe for stressing my self out last week a had a miscarrige and is the most painful thing you could go through!!!

So don't stress for anything give him time and space don't be all up on him trying to find answers to his behavior towards you right now!! You guyz are young and he might need time to think about what's gonna happened!! Relax and everything will be ok!! If you need to talk I'm here

Good luck and relax and try to be stress free!!

newmom2B

The thing is I hate depending on him. But I just now got job. I don't have my license or a car. So I have to depend on either him or my mom. And my family is not the best to rely on either. So I do look to austin for a lot of help but its not that I want to or that I enjoy makin his life miserable. But what else do I do? I need a job, and I have to go to ortho app and dr app. Not that I choose those things. What is a girl to do w nothing on her own? How do I do this? No money. No car. No help. I would love nothing more but to be independent. In fact that's all I wnt. But how do I do that all alone??? How the hell do I make it to independency??

lae3

confide in ur mom tell her you need her more than anything right now.. what ever your probs are im suere shes been thru it.. or something simular..

HonestlyHopeful

Ha. My comment from above had totally changed. Last night we broke up. He is very hard headed. He said he thinks I dont love him and we are "incompatible" lol I told him I dont want him to think that he is stuck with me and has to be with me for the baby. I basically gave him the green light to leave if he wants to. I dont want him to think he is stuck or be with me and be unhappy. But he refuses to leave! he is so hard headed! I think the best thing about this situation is how strong I have become. I know I have support from my family and I know I can be a.great mom. Maybe you should be strong as well! you are definitely capable of being a great mom. So take that pride and be happy for you and your kid! Lol (: he will come around stop worrying, its bad for the baby to worry honey (:

roxanne

Your baby should come first then the man after just remeber if u guys ever break up your baby is the one person in the world thats goin to love you for ever x hope it works out for u guys

newmom2B

@honestlyhopeful I'm sorry for yur bad nite w him. I do hope the best for yu and yur baby. And yes I do need to be independent and I am of coarse trying my best. All of y'alls advice has really helped me. I check my pregly at least 6x a day to get more advice. And @lae3 I try to talk to my mom but as I mentioned before my family isn't the best to rely on. That's a bit of a confusing situation. Although today I called my dad crying, and just to say, my dad and I don't usualy talk that much bc we bump heads to much. But today we had a good talk. So I do hope our relationship changes through all of this. Even though he is the one to say " I told yu so, all yu had to do was listen to me and yu wouldn't of got yur self stuck". I really feel that I need to start listening to my dad way more, if I would of stayed living w him I would of been better off today and if I got pregnant like now I don't think I would of been so scared. I would of deff had a lil money saved up, a car, and a good job. My moto now is " the smallest things and decisions can effect yur whole life".. all I have to say to myself now is I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO DADDY!!!!!

BeautifulMommy

Im 18 and baby daddy is 20. We been together a year and a month and im now 7weeks pregnant. My boyfriend loves me alot just like i love him alot but since i been pregnant i love him more but im a bitch to him and get angry quick and i know he understands me but i do not know how to stop being a bitch and i been crying for everything and am really emotional since my parents just divorced last month i guess im thinking that i do not want to end up divorced either.

BabyMcBride8_27

I'm sorry you're going through this. :-( Maybe he's scared of what's going to be happening in the next few months. Becoming a parent is a big thing, and maybe he just needs time to take it all in. I mean, I can't say for sure, but it seems pretty logical. I wish you the best of luck! %%-

BeautifulMommy

Thanks my baby daddy is really excited its just that i dont know how to stop being rude to him and i get mad at myself for that but honestly i know he understands because i constantly appologize righht after

lae3

thats all you can do.. appoligise ...