older un-pottytrained kids? (not meant to offend)

brittbeckbrittbeck
edited August 2011 in Parenting
I have really been shocked lately at how long parents are waiting to potty train their kids! I had my oldest daughter completely trained at 2 1/2 and was even embarrassed by that because I felt she should have been by 2 and now I am almost all done with my second daughter who is now 2. I know all kids are different and I don't judge those Moms but I wonder why so many people are waiting until 3 years + to even start trying? I have a friend with a 4 year old still in pull-ups and a cousin with a 5 year old kindergartener still in pull-ups, the other day I even saw a little boy about 7 years old playing in the park with pull-ups on (now I don't know his circumstance, he could have had medical issues) but I think the worst was a 5-6 year old girl in full on diapers and drinking a bottle!! And she played with my daughter and seemed normal developmentally so I don't think that was a reason. What do you Moms think? Is this just a new parenting trend? I am so confused!
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Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Iam pretty shocked too. I guess I've heard some are just not ready. My pediatrician said between 15 months and 25 months they will show a sign and if you don't catch it, than its hard after, so maybe some don't catch it? Im not too sure. It doesn't mean they're bad parents by any means. I do agree that 4 or 5 and up is way too long, but that's my personal opinion. My daughter is 19 months old and is almost fully potty trained, she has a diaper at night because she still wets herself at night but that's it, she has been potty training for 4 weeks and always goes in the potty. I caught her taking off her diapers everytime she was wet, so I put underwear on her and haven't went back since :)
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    Also apparently people are now expecting kids to not be trained til later. Pre-schools and even kindergartens are accepting un-pottytrained kids. I take my girls to a gym day-care for a couple of hours and started having problems with my then completely potty trained 2 year old peeing in her pants. When I asked them about it they said that when she asked to go potty they were telling her no because they thought she was way too young to go on the potty and must just be wanting to play in the bathroom!? So now I am having to re-train her sort of because she started to think she was supposed to go in her pants :(
  • dec10dec10
    Wow smh but I can't do that at 2 ur getting potty train
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Well that's ridiculous! I would be pissed!!!
  • BeardreamsBeardreams
    Parents are too lazy to be Real parents these days. I worked in the daycare and found the same trend. Although there was one little girl from a russian Fam that really gave me hope and goals. She was 12 months and fully potty trained! No diaper's ever. Her mom said she started at three months with the routine. I fully intend to start at a few months age as well with the goal of being diaperless by 12 months. Wish me luck! Boys are said to be harder to train
  • sara102011sara102011
    @brittbeck omg i would raise hell!!
  • azmomazmom
    Yeah I see it too...I tried forever with my son finally 5months after my son turned 3my friend came to visit for Halloween n had him fully trained in 2days Lol I was so mad! But it was my first child I knew nothing about potty training but basics n it wasn't working I'm hoping this one will b easier shoot I hate diapers sooner their out the cheaper it is
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @ mommyoftwoprincesses I agree that it doesn't make them bad parents. I just also think it gets harder the longer you wait. I started letting my girls go on the potty at 18 months. But like you said waited a while longer on the night thing. I just don't understand why parents want to change a 5 year olds poopy pants! I am going to school for elementary education and want to be a kindergarten teacher. But now I am scared! Will my class be filled with 5 year olds in poopy pants?! Yikes! I might opt for a higher grade!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I agree hun, we started putting her on the potty at 18 months. I could not stand changing a 5year old, I will home school my daughter if she has to sit with that until they are all potty trained. Lol might sound mean but that's just way too old to be going in a diaper.
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    I was potty trained by 18 months. nw my bfs ex is one of those who didnt do it till the daycare started. We started getting him at regularly at age 2 he would come with me to hte bathroom and sit on the toilet (he would not always go but always try) by 2 1/2 he would ask to use the potty on our weekends. she didnt start doing it till after 3 years old. ( i had him in pullups and we would get him back in diapers.) he is now goint to be 4 and still in pullups. he still poops in them and pees during the day im very frustrated cuz we were doing so well but she didnt have teh 'time' to work on it.....
  • lily_glzlily_glz
    I completely agree!!! My son was completely potty trained 4 months after he turned 2. And even then I felt like I waited too long and he shoulda been potty trained by 2. My sister was pregnant when her daughter was about 14 months, she immediately started potty training her. She was completely trained like 3 months before her baby brother was born! I think some of it is parents laziness.
  • Mrz_JacksonMrz_Jackson
    I tried wit my son at 24 months an he wuld not do it he refused so I stopd an at 3 he done it all by his self wen he was ready I think maybe some kids are ready that young an some are not but thats jus my opinion:)
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    Yeah I was pretty upset about the gym thing. It's so easy for little ones to get confused and so I don't blame my daughter for sort of not knowing what to do now!
  • beaded_bunnybeaded_bunny
    My son is 27m and every few weeks we try the potty. He understands how to use the toilet and will sometimes go by himself but he still doesn't always realize that hes peeing. When I catch him at it ill mention where potty goes and he'll stop flow and finish in the toilet but I don't always catch him. So hes back in diapers and ill try again next month for a week so on so forth
  • vtmamajujuvtmamajuju
    My only question is: why would you want to pay the money for your 5 yr old to still be in diapers? That's reason enough for me to potty train early!
  • jewlieuhjewlieuh
    With my son I started training him shortly before his 2nd b-day. When it comes to peeing I have never had a problem with him. He knows when he has to go and takes care of it all by himself. Pooping, however, has been an extreme battle. He won't sit long enough to actually go, he's very easily distracted like he forgets what he's doing. He's now 2 1/2 and has still not pooped on the toilet. Now he won't even sit on the toilet to try to poop. When he has to go he'll hold it as long as he can, I'm talking several days, then when he finally does go its compacted and I'm sure it hurts so he doesn't even want me to change him when he poops. I feel like he's embarassed about it like he's doing something wrong. The last few months I have not been stressing the potty training. I figured he just wasn't ready with the pooping issues. After the baby comes in a month or less I will start the process again. I really thought i'd have him out of diapers by his 2nd bday....now I'm desperately shooting for his 3rd :(
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @azmom I understand that some kids are more stubborn than others, my oldest was that way with both potty-training and giving up the pacifier. But that doesn't mean that I just gave up. It seems like that is what a lot of Mom's were doing. Potty training both my girls and weaning them from bottle and pacifier were both very hard (there were times I secretly cried when they weren't around because I felt like I was trying everything and getting no results) But that's how it is being a Mom, it will never be easy!! and hardwork pays off in the long-run.
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @beardreams I had a friend who had her son completely potty-trained at 12 months as well. My Dad's Mom has 7 kids all who were 14 months apart and she NEVER had two kids in diapers at the same time! that's pretty good!
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @Rissalee7 Wow that must be frustrating! My best friend is actually the one I was talking about that has the 4 year old girl in pull-ups. It's hard because if I am watching her she will poop in her pants and it's so hard for me to bring myself to change her! My friends excuse is that she is just really stubborn. But my oldest is one of the most stubborn kids you will ever meet!! and that is not just my opinion, EVERYONE says it. But that is still no excuse to not do your job parenting. (was potty training her hard?...YES!! But it had to be done.)
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @Mrz_Jackson2anpreggo I don't think 3 is too old necessarily and I wouldn't be surprised to see an almost 3 year old not potty-trained. But BOTH of my girls completely refused at first too, I think that it is just a step in the potty-training process that you have to move past. I personally don't think that kids are meant to do it on their own in their own time. I think that it is part of our job as mothers to teach them how.
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @beaded_bunny I have heard that boys can be a little harder. I have always found that once you start the training process and then go back to diapers or pull-ups that it is really confusing for them. I think the kids (and of course the Mom too) get really tired of having to stop to clean up the mess of going in regular underwear and eventually they want to try harder. Also (I know that some people will think this is COMPLETELY crazy) but I have a nephew who was three and they couldn't get him to go in the potty or seem interested. One day I took him outside behind my house and told him to pee on the weeds out there and he thought it was so funny that he tried so hard until he finally did, and ever since then they haven't had a problem with getting him to go.
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @jewlieuh I do understand on the trouble with pooping. That is why my oldest wasn't completely trained until 2 1/2. She would do the same thing with holding it or trying to hide it. We started trying to make it not such a serious subject. We told her she could tell her poop bye while she flushes it down the toilet and we would take the poop when she did go in her pants and take her to the toilet to see it being flushed down. I think kids know that poop isn't exactly everyone's favorite thing so they from an early age get a stressed out about it. So we tried to make the experience as "fun" as possible for her and more of a goofy thing than a "gross" thing
  • abby5abby5
    I potty trained my boys at 3 and 3 1/2 and never had accidents in bed or durring the day and never used pull ups... Was done in 3 days with both...i waited till they were ready i didnt want to push them... I have 2 1/2 yr old and will begin him here soon he seems read... I do know for sure boys are much hardr to train early
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  • beaded_bunnybeaded_bunny
    He couldn't care less that he sits in wet underwear. Not a fastidious type of kid. Hes not confused and will ask for his diaper off to use the toliet several times a day but he doesn't have the muscle control to be exclusively in underwear. I could try to force him but then he would get stubborn and any headway I made would be lost. We started training at 17m his dad tried to force it and he only managed to terrify Colt, he wouldn't go near a toilet with out panic for months
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @abby5 yeah I have heard from many people that boys take a little longer. I am expecting a little boy in Nov so I will get the best of both worlds on the potty-training thing. I always watched for when my girls were "ready" as well. I waited until they could communicate with me about having to go at some point or that they didn't like being wet or dirty. It just seems that so many Mom's now think that waiting until they are ready is doing nothing at all and waiting until their kids decide to do the potty-training on their own, which to me is completely crazy. If a child wants to do it and requires little or no work, then GREAT.... LUCKY Mom!! However if your child is getting close to 4 I don't see any reason to wait until they decide on their own. Because from my experience I have seen 5 and 6 year olds who are still completely ok with going in their pants and that is just WAY too old.
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @beaded_bunny I agree that making it stressful for him and being forceful with not help the situation at all. That might actually be the reason why he is having a hard time now. It is hard as parents because sometimes we start out doing things one way and honestly think we are doing the "right" thing, only to find out that we are doing more harm than good (like his Dad) and men always seem to have this mindset that you can "make" a child do anything. I think being creative always seems to be far more affective with children than just force. Good Luck!
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @MarinesAngel good luck and keep trying :) It is by no means an easy task! Like I said before I have actually broken down into tears because I just didn't know what I was doing wrong. But it feels so great once you are finally done with it!
  • abby5abby5
    @brittbeck . I agree 4 is a lil old and 5-6 come on thats a lil neglectfull unless medical reason... There was a girl in my step daughters kinder class that wore pull ups and after i saw that i asked the teacher and she said the girl reused to use public bathrooms it was some OCD thing but the girl would go change her pull up in the bathroom... I just didn't get it...i thought it was yuck and hope shes not in her class this yr...

    Im having a girl in sep so i get to see how easy people say girls are so looking forward to it :)
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