Hate judging parenting styles but I need to vent!!

ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
edited November 2012 in Pregnant
I do not like to comment on people's parenting styles but I am a very outspoken person so I will save my opinions and vent instead...so here goes...

My bff has a daughter 3 weeks older than my son and I'd say that our parenting styles are very similar EXCEPT for the fact that she is not letting her poor daughter build her immune system. We live in Illinois and our weather is really crazy here but she refuses to take her baby out if its less than 50 degrees out, and if she absolutely needs to go out she literally puts about 20 layers on the poor girl! She is over a year old and has gotten sick once, yes some may say this is GREAT but in my opinion she is not building her immune system. I'm not saying take the baby out in a bikini in 50 degree weather so she can purposely get a cold but let her live a little!!! My son has gotten about 4 colds since he has been born, do I like it? NO. Do I feel bad? YES. But I find a little comfort in knowing that he is building a good immune system.

I feel like she is doing more harm than good by couping up the poor baby in a house forever for the fear that the cold wind will touch her body and give her a cold. Point proven that yesterday she was telling me that she doubted she would take her trick or treating because she is "terrified that she will get sick." BUT she actually did take her out for ONE block and guess what? Baby woke up sick this morning. Of course I feel bad for the poor baby girl but I truly believe its because she is not being allowed to get used to the lower temps.

Ok, vent over....

Comments

  • coltensmammacoltensmamma
    I have a sil just like this. My niece is almost 4 and I feel so bad for her. I always tell my hubby they are raising that poor girl in a bubble. They don't let her get dirty, touch things other kids have touched, go to playgrounds, go out if its to cold ect. I had a bday party for my daughter in august, and we have a big pool in our yard and there were lots of kids. All the kids were out swimming and playing while she stood at my doorwall with this sad look on her face. It broke my heart. And worst of all my sil lied and told her she couldn't go out because she forgot her "outdoor shoes" and only brought her "indoor shoes!" I was like wtf who says that lol. I totally get you and have to bite my tounge any time we are around them lol
  • sands3sands3
    Kids need fresh air. I've noticed my boys sleep so much better of we go outside, even for just 30 minutes. No, colds are no fun but yes, kids need to build up their immune system. Poor kid shouldn't be stick in the house forever.
  • LeviLuv8LeviLuv8
    Lol agreed. I work in a daycare. We have many new parents that come I and tell us they have never been to day care our every really around other kids. Then when they get sick 3 right away they get a little pissy. Well if your kid was around germs more often it wouldn't get sick.
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @coltensmamma I'm glad someone agrees with me. I am a first time mom just like she is and can be a tad bit overprotective at times but this to me is taking to the point where its no longer good for baby.
  • littlenat86littlenat86
    @LeviLuv8 I have worked in daycare (we call them nurseries here) for the past 9 years and this winds me up too! What do they think will happen when they start school then! Are the parents going to keep them in a bubble forever?! Having a sick child isn't nice but that's life!
  • Mallory27Mallory27
    I am in Illinois too and I feel the same way. Even whem Makenzie had no immune system due to the chemo I still took her out and tried to let her be a kid. Makenzie's dads brother is with this girl and she didn't take her kid trick or treating yesterday because she said it was too cold but yet her and the boyfriend went out and they are 23! Common now It was cold but go to a few houses and go home.
  • trixiesmom8trixiesmom8
    That sucks! We didn't take our lo trick or treating because it was also raining. But we take her out on a regular bases when its cold or not.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    I agree...my two yr old is the grossest boy I've ever seen..He licks EVERYTHING! Come to find out we were all sick except him! I mean he licked the freezer door at the grocery store ..my fiancee was supposed to be watching him bc I had the other two and I turn around and he is licking it. He is constantly licking our Windows...its gross but I think he built up tbat immune system lol. Kids need to play and enjoy themselves. This coming from miss ocd herself...I hate dirt and stickiness...but I get over it and let them play. As long as you clean them up afterwards:)
  • MáthairMáthair
    @sehra4177

    My son used to like everything too. Drove me nuts lol, you are not alone.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Màthair lol really?? At the store one time this lady caught him doing it...and she started cracking up and was like omg my son used to do the same thing...we saw her again as we were shopping and she was still laughing...I guess it is a boy thing...my daughter never did that...
  • MyBamBina28MyBamBina28
    im in Chicago,we only have one car and dh always has it for work,i still always take our 1yo out,even so shes only been sick once,i was concerned about the cold weather at first & even uptight about it but my gram said i cant keep her in a bubble so now we take her out almost everyday except ic its raining,shes my first so im still learning lol
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    Does her daughter have any reason she would have a compromised immune system? I'm asking because my preemie son came home from the nicu in the fall of '09 (beginning of rsv season and the h1n1 pandemic), and I was like your friend. I made the decision that he wasn't going to get sick...which meant keeping him in a bubble and me being absolutely neurotic...and it worked; he didn't have his first cold til he was almost 2! The habits I formed didn't just go away because he turned 1. I had to make a decision every day to relax a little.

    My son is now 3, and his full-term sister is 1.5. His immune system is better than hers! They've each had 3 colds (the same 3 colds he brought home from school each time). It takes him a day to kick it...meanwhile, my daughter is sick for a week!!"
  • tashaloutashalou
    My son is ridiculous in the things he tries to eat too lol. Iv caught him eating sudocreme, pot pourri, shampoo, lotion, leaves, dirt! I need eyes in the back of my head lol but hes a kid and exploring is how they learn and grow so as long as its not dangerous I let him explore and get as messy as he wants :)
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @math_mommy No she has NO health issues, healthy as can be. I can see your reason for being that way if u had a preemie but my friend has absolutely no reason to be that way.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Illness is caused by a virus (or bacteria), not cold air.
  • brookiesbabybrookiesbaby
    Thank you for putting that @starrxoxo9 colds are not caused by cold air.
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    Your friend might be stuck in "baby-mode" though. I think all babies need that protection in the first3-4 months. Then they should gradually be exposed as they get older ...but, the early habits of a protective mom are hard to break...esp if it's her first baby! (I still wipe down shopping carts even if I have my cart-cover.)
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    @starrxoxo9 a reduced body temp (from prolonged exposure to cold air) does lower the immune system's capabilities. But yes, bacteria, virus, or fungus has to be present to create an illness
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @starxoxo9 Well I wish she could grasp that idea as well.
  • MijitaMijita
    You would get irritated by our parenting style then, lol. :)
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @math_mommy I am all for protecting our babies, I am a first time mom too and I have my over protective ways as well, but there comes a time when keeping your child in a bubble does more harm than good and to me this is one of those times.
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    edited November 2012
    @mijita I only get irritated bcuz she is so close to me but like I said I don't openly comment on peoples parenting ways and its so hard not telling a person who you are used to being open with what u really think, so I thought I would tell you guys instead.
  • MijitaMijita
    Ha ha, I know. Please know I'm not judging. I honestly could care less what anyone thinks about my ways and don't pass judgment upon those that parent different than me. :)
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @mijita :) me neither. I know not everything I do with my son is perfect and other people probably judge me as well but as long as both my baby and I are happy that's all that matters.
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