Showering with child **small update**

ashley_smashleyashley_smashley
edited January 2013 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
So...I know that some people shower with their children. Heck I shower with Ollie...but I think there should be an age cut off...

I recently found out that my step mom forces my 10 year old half sister shower with her...my sister doesn't want to...and actually verges on crying when she has to...does anyone else think 10 is to old...and I feel like someone needs to say something to my step mom...I worry that something weird might be going on...now I don't have any proof of that OTHER than the showering together..

What do you ladies think? Am I over reacting?

Comments

  • babyinblack682babyinblack682
    That's way to old. Although I'm old school, I shower with my daughter but she's 18 mo and co sleep but I can't see either of those happening past 2
  • ashley_smashleyashley_smashley
    I shower with Ollie and he is 15 months...and I think showering with your child until they are old enough to understand what they see is fine...but if your child is obviously upset about showering with you...then it's time to stop...but yet my step mom insists...it's weird...
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    My daughter is 5 and still showers with me but i would never make her do it. I would actually love some me time and shower alone lol. But i would say something if i was you.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    That's really weird. At 10 ( and even younger) she's perfectly capable of bathing herself so yes I would agree, something shady is going on.
  • perlyperly
    Yeah... 10 is too old. In my opinion, your stepmom is not only forcing her to see something she might not want to see but she is also invading her privacy.
    If i had to choose a certain age to stop showering with my child, i would stop at around 2 and a half maybe 3. I think it would be a good idea to have someone talk to your stepmom about this, because what seems so simple and harmless to her may have some bad effects on your half sister.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    To old maybe talk to your sister if possible find out what you can from her. Is your father in the picture? If so maybe talk to him also bc it sounds weird to me.
  • Maymommy2011Maymommy2011
    wow... way too old :( ... something weird going on.... I was going to ask rhis question recently cus I wss wondering if it was weird to shower with my son he is 18 months
  • AngelmonkeymelodyAngelmonkeymelody
    10 is to old.. I remember when i was 3 or 4 and i was on the road with my dad (he was a truck driver) me and him showered together he just had me turn around so i did not see his man parts as he called them.. But he got questioned by police one time but i was to little to be in a truck stop shower alone.. But ya you should ask your sister about it..
  • MáthairMáthair
    Far to old, if stepmom is worried about your sister slipping, or splashing to much having the bathroom door opened should be fine. I have to do that with my son occasionally because he will try to climb the walls... I don't know why, he can be weird. If it is a case where your sister is not washing herself then step mom, fully dressed or in a swim top, in the room telling her what to wash should be enough. Once again I had to do that with my son this past year. But NEVER naked together... Eww!
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    She needs to be careful because forcing a child to look at something sexual (like her naked self) is considered sexual abuse. It could turn real bad if the wrong person finds out. My 10yo daughter broke her collar bone & it was so embarrassing for her when I had to help her take a bath.
  • RoxyRoxy
    10 is to big and idk y she would force her wierd
  • EricaK22EricaK22
    Uh 10 is way too old. My son is 18 months old, and soon ill stop putting him in the shower with me.
  • musicmommamusicmomma
    way too old. I was going to ask too what your dad thought about it. cause this kind of thing can be very harmful and damaging.
  • Mackenzies_mama2010Mackenzies_mama2010
    I would deff say something theres no reason to force her to take a shower with her it would maybe be different if the lil girl was ok with it but if shes almost crying cuz she doesnt wanna thats a lil wierd to me
  • ashley_smashleyashley_smashley
    Well I didn't get any free time with Daisy tonight...I had hoped to talk to her privately to see what she had to say. I leave to go back to Washington tomorrow. So I am going to talk to my dad privately and see what he says. It really upsets me that she is forcing her to do it...the fact that Daisy is so against it screams RED FLAG to me... Thank you ladies for all your input, and I will keep you updated! I hope this does not cause a falling out between my dad and I again...but someone needs to stick up for her.
  • Mallory27Mallory27
    I think it depends on the child. If they are comfortable with it and you are too then sure but to force a child that knows better that doesn't want to is sad..
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited January 2013
    Good luck. There is only one reason I can see for that to be going on.
  • ashley_smashleyashley_smashley
    No offense! Her and I have never gotten along! And well ..unfortunately my dad is a pushover...so...I don't know how this is going to go...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • sehra4177sehra4177
    I'm alone at night with all 3 kids and sometimes I do it bc time wise its needed. But I think ten is too old. My daughter will be nine in Feb and she has showered on her own since she was four. I mean I'll help her check her hair to make sure the shampoo is out and since we have only one bathroom sometimes I have to go to the bathroom while she is in there but that's it. The body is nothing to be ashamed of but girls need that privacy. And as mentioned above if your sister fights it that's when common sense should kick in and the mother should have stopped.
  • stephforever89stephforever89
    edited January 2013
    I shower and take baths with my son. The funniest thing happend about month ago. We were Taking a bath he points at my crotch and says dog. All I could do was laugh lol. (Fyi I ran out of razor lol). But anywho the next day my sil came over she was laying on the couch. He climbed up and started pointing at her crotch saying dog. I could have died I felt so embarrassed.
  • MommyLovesSparkleMommyLovesSparkle
    Wow that's really old I can understand sitting in the bathroom with her if she's scared or to check she's properly clean but forcing her to shower with her is totally not okay!
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  • Maymommy2011Maymommy2011
    bump update? this has been on my mind... kinda bothering me I hope you got to talk to your sister
  • FrantasticFrantastic
    Seriously, 10 is waaaaayyyy to old to still be showering with a parent. That's like 4th or 5th grade right? Something weird is happening there and If you don't want to start drama with your dad and step mom maybe you should just report it anonymously to the authorities. That way you aren't the one with the "problem" confronting them.
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    Too old! I shower with my 5 and 6 year old daughters sol mainly because they suck at washing their hair correctly.. They never get it all! Lol. And its simple for me to one, not have to bend down giving them a bath, and two, I kill 3 birds with one stone. Being 9 months along with my fourth child, I'm definitely looking for little tricks to make my day easier.. Lol. Hopefully soon, my girls will get this hair washing crud down so they can do it by themselves. But then I worry about them making a mess, or slipping. Idk. I'm too overprotective. I know my neighbor showers with her 5 year old too. And my mother in law showers with my girls and my nephew who is four.
  • ashley_smashleyashley_smashley
    Ok so small UPDATE ..sorry it has taken so long..I have been traveling back home, and spending time with the hubs.

    I didn't get a chance to speak privately with Daisy that night bc my step mom was hovering. So I am going to have to talk to my dad and see what he has to say. I was chatting with my brother about it. He thinks I should empower daisy to speak up about not wanting to do it anymore. I am worried that Cathy won't listen to her bc she is just a child. I am hopeing that my Dad will do something about it...but judging by past experience he doesn't really stand up for his kids....
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Even over something like that. Personally I know it's sounds bad but I would encoursge her to tell a teacher. My dad was abusive the very first time he hit my youngest sister I told her to just tell her teacher. He knocked other sister and I around for years. I think that she is going at the least be traumatized over this at the worst she is being molested. In that case the police need to be brought in. I am sure just forcing her to shower with her at that age would be considered sexual abuse.
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