So he just got arrested * UPDATE 4/30/13*

WilsomomWilsomom
edited April 2013 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
I pray none of you ever have to watch your own child get arrested like I just did. :'( I was trying to get his cell phone & he grabbed my arm, pushed me back & wouldn't give it to me. I told him I'd call the cops if he didn't. (this is what his caseworker told me to do) He wouldn't so I left to call & he threw the phone out the window at me & called me a f*cking b*itch. They took him for domestic violence. :( I'm still in shock. I'm only glad in the sense that at least he might get some help before it's too late.
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Comments

  • Mallory27Mallory27
    That has to be hard but at least he will get help he needs and if you didn't he could have gotten in a lot more trouble (ive been reading your other posts).
  • babyinblack682babyinblack682
    Good for you momma. He needs to learn that mommy isn't going to protect him from everything. My cousin was like this through and through then he had 2 kids, who they raised in a heroin filled nightmare life for two years. The day my aunt got custody of the kids his girlfriend tried to kill them both by driving their car into a tree. They lived but he's not much more than a walking vegetable and never will be. He's 24 yo. Don't let your kids do this anymore
  • perlyperly
    I am SO PROUD of you!
    I know this must be really hard, but its for the best. Im glad that you put your foot down and that you let everyone else know in that house that no one will misbehave without having consequences.

    Sending you LOTS of hugs! Hang in there. It'll be ok.
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    Thank you so much @mallory27 @babyinblack682 @perly
    I think in my head it was the right thing to do, but my heart keeps wondering if I shouldn't have tried to take his phone. ?
  • LittleFaeLittleFae
    You did the right thing. - hugs- sending lots of strength and positive energy
  • RoxyRoxy
    hopefully he gets a scare in him by going to jail
  • perlyperly
    You did the right thing. He was grounded, he wasn't supposed to have his phone. You're always going to question yourself when things like these happen, you're a mother and its like they say kids don't come with a manual so you have to do what you think is right. He's going to be ok, try to relax a little.
  • stellastella
    Sorry you have to go through this but hopefully he'll realize there are consequence to his action. Hang in there hun hugs and good thought going out to you >:D<
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Maybe a couple nights in jail will do him some good. With any luck he wilk sit there until monday.
  • captivatedcaptivated
    I'm glad this happened and sorry you have to go through it at the same time. No matter what he says, let him spend time in jail. Don't bail him out!
  • 2ndtimearound2ndtimearound
    :-( I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine.
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    Thanks @everyone I'm still in a numb shock, I'll probably be an emotional wreck when the shock wears off.

    I forgot to mention it was the younger son...the one with the violent temper, not the older one that was gone 5 days last week.

    When/if they ever grow up, they're gonna buy me a cruise vacation to repay me for all the hell they've put me through!
  • perlyperly
    Lol. They better buy you a cruise, a house, a vehicle and the rest of the world :)
    You deserve that.
  • julesjules
    I'm sorry it's hard but trust me this will help him and putting his hands on you is taking it to the next level. if he has anger problem it has to get fixed imagine what can Happen if he got upset at one of the little kids which people with anger wouldn't care. plus the more time goes by the longer he would think it's ok the worst it would get and next thing you know his hurting innocent people. you did the right thing and I hope one day he thanks you for it. your great mother who deserves that 'vvacation!
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    edited February 2013
    @perly @jules Thanks! I need a vacation bad. Lol

    Does anyone know if I have to testify at the hearing? And what should I wear?

    @jules you know what's weird? No one at this house has a violent temper, but his dad does. Since his dad abandoned him when he was a baby I wonder if it's hereditary? It's so scary, he grabbed my arm really hard & wouldn't let go. One time I had to call 911 because he was throwing a stereo an other stuff at me. It's so weird because it reminds me of his dad exactly.
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    edited February 2013
    In the court waiting room...I'm so nervous! =((
  • LittleFaeLittleFae
    Thinking of you
  • LaFiiTz89LaFiiTz89
    Whatever u do DON'T DROP THE CHARGES. if he has to do jail time let him!!
  • julesjules
    I'm sorry.. It sucks and it kinda is my biological dad had anger issues and I went through I would just get things get to me very easily now I've never anything like that but I had to learn to handle things better but maybe it was just me being young but I do think it's past on. I think that he needs to go through this experience to really learn his lesson
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    He pled not guilty so he has a pretrial next wednesday the 13th. They decided to hold him until then. It lasted about 5 minutes & I didn't even have to talk. It was sad seeing him in handcuffs, shackles & jail clothes. He didn't even look at me. =((
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    @wilsomom I know how it feels to have someone you love so dearly behind bars and see them so vulnerable and you can't do anything about it but deep inside you know its for the best. I can't imagine going through it as a mother though, must be even harder!
  • babyinblack682babyinblack682
    Out of everything though jail is a good dry out, maybe he will realize his ways
  • julesjules
    It's ok his not having fun yes. But his safe nothing to worry about that's food and bathroom and he can sleep. It's good his going to be mad at first then will hopefully realize what he did wrong and how it's against the law to harm anyone. And after he realized that be can be on his way to learning how to control himself and not even get to that point. Don't be too hard on yourself I'm sure u just want to help him but this is not your fault and it sucks that he needs something like this in order to learn.
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    Thanks everyone! I'm just praying he has time to think now & change the path he's heading on.
  • stephforever89stephforever89
    You may get a apology before Wednesday. Jail is a rough and tough place from what Ive heard.
  • MáthairMáthair
    Maybe they will mandate an anger management program for him. Sucks that he pleaded not guilty, the court (I've known people growing up that had issues you've mentioned) tends to be a bit more kind if you admit your mistakes.

    Does he have a lawyer/representative who can advise him?
  • julesjules
    He will turn around! And they if they have no proof that his not guilty they will charge him and they always give anger management and community service it's a shariffs program which these things cost money do not pay anything. Make him arrange payment plans with the court BC he will have to pay for even going on front of the judge then to enroll in those programs and every class you have to pay for. I have many lawyer friends and had people I know who have messed up and needed my help with this stuff. From my experience unless they can prove he didn't touch you there is no way he will win even if they assign him a public defender that person will advice him to plea guilty in the end and he should take that bc after a year of no trouble he can go back and show he did the classes, the service and he may have it expunged. If he however choices to continue saying his not guilty meaning he did not touch you at all it will cost him a lot in court fees to take out to trial then if he looses he can spend up to year in juve....soo either way whatever he choices let him and he needs to be responsible in every way. Do not give in otherwise he won't learn. And this is good way for his brother to learn from his experience.
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    He has a public defender & they're doing a mental assessment of some kind before his pretrial. I'm also supposed to be questioned by a victim's advocate that will talk to the prosecutor too. The prosecutor said they never plea bargain for domestic violence, even a first offense. Hopefully he will agree to what we come up with at the pretrial rather than going to court. Idk if I should go visit him or not, he's really mad at me.
  • julesjules
    Well that's good maybe they can actually help him then what if they are onto something who knows.. I don't think he has mental thing but I've never met him only BC his young his father has this anger issue and he was doing other stuff too it's just that his on the wrong path at the moment. I personally do not think u should visit BC I think then that will give him a feeling that your not upset or hurt that u just called for no reason which he will believe is stupid and be me upset with you and continue thinking he didn't do anything wrong. If you keep the distance and he has more time to let it set in maybe he will realize that u are hurt and upset and u were scared and that's why u called the police and that he needs to get himself together and apologize. If someone else can visit and even bring up the idea maybe that be better. Someone who can say no one wants you in here however what you did is illegal and they can't just let that slid it's very serious in this County.
  • babyinblack682babyinblack682
    I would call before you visit you being the victim you might not be able to
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