I'm tired of life

musicmommamusicmomma
edited February 2013 in Depression
I am tired of the following:

not feeling any connection to my second son since giving birth to him 7 weeks ago

feeling like a shitty mom BECAUSE I haven't connected with my second son

having anxiety because of the above feelings

having no patience with my first son because of all of the above feelings

feeling taken advantage of by my husband because he doesn't understand how I'm feeling and doesn't seem to give a shit

feeling resentful of my husband because I do so much and don't feel acknowledged (but I will say he does a lot too, I just wish he recognized how much I do)

wanting a physical and emotional connection with my husband but feeling like I won't get both (I'll let you take a wild guess which one I would get) but I don't want one without the other

and when we do finally have sex I want it to be amazing and I'm afraid it won't be...I know it won't be partially because it's going to hurt like a son of a bitch

also I'm tired of bleeding. holy hell I just wish my vagina and uterus would give the bleeding a rest

my vagina is no longer the same after having my second, which is another factor in the whole not having sex thing... I don't know why, but I feel so self conscious about it

also-tired of being fat...I've been eating healthier and exercising a bit, but haven't lost hardly anything which does no good for my self esteem

sorry to be such a whiner, but I am really down in the dumps right now. I just needed to tell SOMEONE how I've been feeling. I'm just so depressed.

Comments

  • Scott_Jessica1stbabyScott_Jessica1stbaby
    Your feelings sound completely normal. I almost feel like I wrote this. I have a 2 month old son and a 17 month old daughter. You will start to have feelings for your second child. Just give it time. You are probably just to overwhelmed with everything and are being to hard on yourself. I understand though. I too feel like a crappy Mom. It is hard. The bleeding does suck, but you should be in the clear soon and as for the sex, unfortunately that will take time, but it too will get better. Sorry, not much help here. Just wanted you to know your not alone. You need to try and give yourself a break. You seem like you just need some rest and time for your self to relax.
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    I felt the exact same when I had my kid. It probably took me four months to really start feeling connected with my daughter. So trust me. It is normal and it will go away. What helped me, was talking about it. And here is a great place to start. Talk on here, and work your way up. Then maybe a close friend or family member, heck even your doctor. They can be a great resource for this kind of stuff. Keep up the working out, it'll eventually help. It takes four weeks of exercise/diet changes for you to notice changes, eight weeks for those close to you to notice, and twelve weeks for the world to notice. But you're well on your way, hang in there!!
    Maybe take a few hours and go shopping. Buy a new shirt. Doesn't have to be expensive, go to Walmart with twenty bucks. If you don't find a shirt, then maybe earrings or make up. Something you don't need per se, but Want. Stay strong love, it sounds cliched, but it does get better!!
  • mommyof3girlsmommyof3girls
    ^ very good ideas! Sounds very much like ppd. Maybe a good idea to talk to your doc about some of your feelings. They can help. I hope you feel better soon. Life can be hard but try to be optimistic... Life is beautiful. It's good to share your feelings.
  • monkey_girlmonkey_girl
    It's sounds like you have postpartum depression. You should make an appointment to see your doctor soon.
  • kayleigh27kayleigh27
    I had almost the exact same feelings after my daughter. I think it took me around almost a yr to feel "connected" to my daughter. I loved her to death but I just didn't feel like I was a good mother and she always seem to want my husband to hold/cuddle with her which made me feel even more like s****. There were times I didn't even want to answer to her crying at night or during the day. I had no help because my in laws decided to take a freaking family trip the day after she was born and my mother had to work for a few more weeks until she got the time off. My husband was already dealing with some other stuff so he didn't seem to listen to my problems. I was already a depressed person before I gave birth so I was prepare to have some major PPD. I went to the Dr and he put me on wellbutrin which helped but I had to stop taking them since I got pregnant again :p

    But yeah talk about your feelings with a good friend or your mom. My mom helped me out a lot by just talking to her on the phone. I went and got my hair done and bought makeup and little things like @natashlyn said and it really does help.
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    It sounds like you are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself. As others have said above, I too felt the same way with my second (and bd was able to take 12 wks paternity leave, so my only responsibility was my daughter; I had ample time to "connect" w/ her...but it still didn't happen until 7-8 weeks. Fyi, she's a total mama's girl now).

    As for your relationship w/ your husband, just cuz docs give you the green light for sex at 6 weeks doesn't mean you are emotionally or physically ready right then (birthing a baby is traumatic on your woman-parts!) Talk to him and tell him that you are thinking about it (sometimes men just need to know that their woman still finds them desirable).

    Cut yourself some slack mama; having 2 little kids is hard work!!!
  • julesjules
    I agree with the others you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I think just the fact that you can talk about shows amazing strength! How have you been doing today? It's important to take things one day at time all of us at one point or another just get to a point like this and we are here to support you :)
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