the love of your life vs the soulmate
Is there a difference between the two? Without a
doubt there is.
And how do you determine which way to go. It's
a constant battle, a war within myself to know I
have endured two completely different people with
two completely different significant meanings.As
the title states, one is my soulmate, and one is
the love of my life. One is everything a girl ever
wanted and the other is everything a girl didn't
want. But this girl loves him. She loves both of
them as a matter of fact. But you can't compare
the love, because as the title states, one is her
soulmate, and one is the love of her life.
The question is...which title holds more meaning?
Let me break it down...
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE: 15 years of friendship, 8
year of what felt/feels like a marriage, and a baby
girl.As friends it was perfect, he was my BFF, my
ride or die. Never in a million years did I imagine
then he would become who he is/was to me
now. Yea we kissed once in our early teenage
years but it was very innocent, he was shy, and I
was taken. We lost touch for a couple years as
we both proceeded with different crowds, different
lives. And when we got back in touch, I had just
gotten out of a 3 year relationship with an
unfaithful junkie. After getting back in touch, we
picked up where we left off only this time around
there were benefits involved. No sex, we waited.
But I remember clearly telling him I wasn't ready
to give my heart out again, no strings attached,
just two people who enjoyed eachother's
company and didn't mind the physical affection
being displayed. But he stole my heart, literally. I
never asked for him, I never asked for love, and I
never asked to fall in love. I didn't want that. But
it didn't turn out that way. The first month in I
was already living with him, and the first year
was perfect. My guard was always up though. I
was his first real girfriend, his first love, and I
think I took advantage of his vulnerbility. I have
been abused so bad physically and sexually from
previous relationships that I turned into the
abuser. And man did he take it, till he couldn't no
more. He started fighting back and then got
comfortable with it. Did I turn him into the
monster he became? I have never had stitches or
a broken bone in my life till him, did I ask for it?
Don't get me wrong, I put up a good fight, but
he's a man. And I don't justify his or my actions.
When we fight, we fight hard, and when we love,
we love even harder. It's always been the fights
that kept us going because after...there was an
unbelievable amount of passion. Through all our
bullshit, the love and passion has always been
there. But we lack trust, communication, and
respect. 3 big keys you need for a relationship.His
lack of trust comes from his mothers affair, in
which he took out on me, and our lack of respect
comes from being two people who think their
boss. Were both hot headed,and both always
have a point to prove.Not to mention we both
grew up in broken homes involving loveless
marriages. He tried to break that cycle and I
repeated it till he just gave up and fought
back.He couldve given up and moved on to a
woman that couldve given him what he longed for
and deserved but he didnt. He chose to tear
eachother apart everyday as did I because he
loved me that much to where he couldnt let me
go. And I love this man, I don't know why I do,
but I do. It's more than just comfort and habit, I
love him. Bottom line.
THE SOULMATE- He is exactly that. He's perfect,
just flawless. Every girls dream. We mesh so well
together. He brings out the absolute best in me
and I can be myself around him. He brings out a
side of me I never knew I had in myself. We have
a long history in a short time. The way I feel
about him, you just cant fake. Everyone sees the
potential in us, I could envision myself marrying
him someday. It's like looking in a mirror and
seeing a male version of me. All we do is laugh.
He loves me, and he loves my daughter, hes
patient and kind and just has such a love for life.
Hes happy, and he makes me happy. In fact, I've
never felt the way I do for him about anybody. I
truly believe he is my soulmate.
But....
It may sound odd but I feel like a widow. Have
you ever seen a little old lady bury her husband
and then in due time she does one of two things.
She either awaits patiently to reunite with THE
LOVE OF HER LIFE at those pearly white gates, or
she finds a companion to spend the rest of her
life with till she can be with her husband again.
That's what my soulmate is to me, he's someone
I enjoy the company of , someone I truly to love
and am in love with,but in all reality my heart is
taken. And the love of my life is not dead...he's
just an asshole.
I have to mention a major key, there's a beautiful
2 year old little girl involved. A little girl who has
so much personality but has been affected by the
fights that occur between her father and I.
I don't believe theres a right or wrong answer to
this. What I do know, is I'm content with where I
am at right now. I can only take it day by day
and whats meant to be will be...
I dont need a man to define me.
Im just very lucky to have one who has been
nothing but patient, loving, and nurturing through
it all.
Am I torn between the two? Absolutely not.
Is there a difference between the two? Without a doubt.
doubt there is.
And how do you determine which way to go. It's
a constant battle, a war within myself to know I
have endured two completely different people with
two completely different significant meanings.As
the title states, one is my soulmate, and one is
the love of my life. One is everything a girl ever
wanted and the other is everything a girl didn't
want. But this girl loves him. She loves both of
them as a matter of fact. But you can't compare
the love, because as the title states, one is her
soulmate, and one is the love of her life.
The question is...which title holds more meaning?
Let me break it down...
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE: 15 years of friendship, 8
year of what felt/feels like a marriage, and a baby
girl.As friends it was perfect, he was my BFF, my
ride or die. Never in a million years did I imagine
then he would become who he is/was to me
now. Yea we kissed once in our early teenage
years but it was very innocent, he was shy, and I
was taken. We lost touch for a couple years as
we both proceeded with different crowds, different
lives. And when we got back in touch, I had just
gotten out of a 3 year relationship with an
unfaithful junkie. After getting back in touch, we
picked up where we left off only this time around
there were benefits involved. No sex, we waited.
But I remember clearly telling him I wasn't ready
to give my heart out again, no strings attached,
just two people who enjoyed eachother's
company and didn't mind the physical affection
being displayed. But he stole my heart, literally. I
never asked for him, I never asked for love, and I
never asked to fall in love. I didn't want that. But
it didn't turn out that way. The first month in I
was already living with him, and the first year
was perfect. My guard was always up though. I
was his first real girfriend, his first love, and I
think I took advantage of his vulnerbility. I have
been abused so bad physically and sexually from
previous relationships that I turned into the
abuser. And man did he take it, till he couldn't no
more. He started fighting back and then got
comfortable with it. Did I turn him into the
monster he became? I have never had stitches or
a broken bone in my life till him, did I ask for it?
Don't get me wrong, I put up a good fight, but
he's a man. And I don't justify his or my actions.
When we fight, we fight hard, and when we love,
we love even harder. It's always been the fights
that kept us going because after...there was an
unbelievable amount of passion. Through all our
bullshit, the love and passion has always been
there. But we lack trust, communication, and
respect. 3 big keys you need for a relationship.His
lack of trust comes from his mothers affair, in
which he took out on me, and our lack of respect
comes from being two people who think their
boss. Were both hot headed,and both always
have a point to prove.Not to mention we both
grew up in broken homes involving loveless
marriages. He tried to break that cycle and I
repeated it till he just gave up and fought
back.He couldve given up and moved on to a
woman that couldve given him what he longed for
and deserved but he didnt. He chose to tear
eachother apart everyday as did I because he
loved me that much to where he couldnt let me
go. And I love this man, I don't know why I do,
but I do. It's more than just comfort and habit, I
love him. Bottom line.
THE SOULMATE- He is exactly that. He's perfect,
just flawless. Every girls dream. We mesh so well
together. He brings out the absolute best in me
and I can be myself around him. He brings out a
side of me I never knew I had in myself. We have
a long history in a short time. The way I feel
about him, you just cant fake. Everyone sees the
potential in us, I could envision myself marrying
him someday. It's like looking in a mirror and
seeing a male version of me. All we do is laugh.
He loves me, and he loves my daughter, hes
patient and kind and just has such a love for life.
Hes happy, and he makes me happy. In fact, I've
never felt the way I do for him about anybody. I
truly believe he is my soulmate.
But....
It may sound odd but I feel like a widow. Have
you ever seen a little old lady bury her husband
and then in due time she does one of two things.
She either awaits patiently to reunite with THE
LOVE OF HER LIFE at those pearly white gates, or
she finds a companion to spend the rest of her
life with till she can be with her husband again.
That's what my soulmate is to me, he's someone
I enjoy the company of , someone I truly to love
and am in love with,but in all reality my heart is
taken. And the love of my life is not dead...he's
just an asshole.
I have to mention a major key, there's a beautiful
2 year old little girl involved. A little girl who has
so much personality but has been affected by the
fights that occur between her father and I.
I don't believe theres a right or wrong answer to
this. What I do know, is I'm content with where I
am at right now. I can only take it day by day
and whats meant to be will be...
I dont need a man to define me.
Im just very lucky to have one who has been
nothing but patient, loving, and nurturing through
it all.
Am I torn between the two? Absolutely not.
Is there a difference between the two? Without a doubt.
Comments
I know many people say that you can't choose who you fall in love with, and that's somewhat true but i also think that you can choose who not to fall in love with.
It sounds like you both have so much to offer in a relationship, but maybe not to each other. Or maybe with outside help, you guys can get back to the relationship you once had. In the beginning it sounded like he was your soulmate. Either way it sounds like you deserve a happier and healthier lifestyle.
If given the chance, your soulmate might actually be the love of your life.
@homebirthadvocate exactly I'm just really havin a hard time letting go..I want him to want it as bad as I do..some days I'm ok, and others I'm a mess