He left...

MandaBearMandaBear
edited March 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
My husband and I got into an arguement that some how led to him telling me he needs time away from me. I've been crying for hours and I'm so scared he's leaving me! I really don't know what to do. I'm a nervous wreck and hysterical. It all came out if nowhere!
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Comments

  • Mami_Ika3Mami_Ika3
    Relax he will come back just pray it will be ok ;-)
  • iLoveMyBabyiLoveMyBaby
    It's our hormones. It happened to me also. U have to learn to control them as best as u can. N if he loves u, just call n explain to him that ur emotional, n he should understand.
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    I tried talking to him. He said he's been unhappy with me for months. He said he just needs a few days but I dont think he's going to try to work it out.
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  • MommytoaprinceMommytoaprince
    Give him a few days to cool off. He'll probably come back, just give him a little time. Men tend to be unable to deal with our hormones during this time and they don't get it that we can't help the outbursts 100% of the time.
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    I don't know what to do while I wait for him to decide if he's coming back. I only got about three hours of sleep I've been throwing up and having the runs from the stress! I'm a wreck I can't snap out of it and stop crying!
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    He came home to talk to me and I guess he's saying he needs time away from me. I was hoping the night away from me would calm him down and he would change his mind. But I was wrong. I'm scared we are going to be done. We just got married in October and he told me last night he has been unhappy since before the wedding. Why marry me and then try for a baby? I haven't been able to eat or drink I can't keep anything down! I feel so alone.
  • Prayin_4_twinsPrayin_4_twins
    How far aling are you? He may just be getting nervous.....he just needs Time ;) gl hun!!!!
  • Prayin_4_twinsPrayin_4_twins
    Oh hun just saw your last msg!!! I am sorry ur husband is acting this way, but make sure ur eating & drinking ok. I no easier said than done, but your bby needs the nutrition & so do you! And stresses are not helping I know! We are here for u, even from miles away!!!!!! <3
  • MILFMILF
    I went through the same thing and he said the same thing and on top of that I told him not to come back but after a couple days everything was all good. Everything will be cool, just give him space then try talkin to him.
  • JojomJojom
    My hubby tends to do that too. They just can't handle our emotions very well during pregnancy. If he was truly unhappy since before you got married then he wouldn't have married you. My hubby has said things like that to me and left but he always comes back. Just try to learn a better way to mask your emotions. I know it's hard but it makes it easier for your hubby to deal with. They don't all know what we are really going thru. It's hard for some to understand. And as for the stress just calm yourself and listen to music or take a bubble bath (my personal fix all), maybe even sit outside (if the weather permits) and read a book. Good luck hunnie. We are here for you!
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    It's completely over. He told me he has been in love with his ex for five years and resents me for not allowing him to talk to her. He said the only way he could be with me is if he allowed to see her. I can't do that. I got to figure out what to do with the situation. I don't want to be with him at all. But I can't afford a divorce!
  • wallieheadbaby3wallieheadbaby3
    What an a**! I'm sorry hun. My hormones are going nuts too... I wish I could take it out on his face for you!
  • CarleyCarley
    Im so sorry ur going through this. Its not acceptable for him to see a woman he's in love with. He is very wrong so don't let him make it seem like its ur fault. I know it had to hurt for ur husband to tell u he's in love with another woman. Be as strong as u can because its time to move on. Don't worry about the actual divorce right now. Physical separation will do for now. Be blessed my dear.
  • Jensensmommy15Jensensmommy15
    Wow he's an asshole. I hope everything works out for you and your baby. Praying for you.

  • mommyto1soontob2mommyto1soontob2
    I'm sure u can do somethin. He left u and put u through pain n suffering. I would sue his ass. Mental distress and the fact your pregnant. I would contact a lawyer and see what they say. His ass marries u and didn't want to! Where u live I wanna smack sense into him!!
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    Thanks. I'm so confused and angry we just got married in October so I don't understand... it hurts like hell. I was sitting here all week thinking he just needed a break from me and now he tells me this. he also lied to me and said he hasn't been speaking to her but I saw a number he has been texting a lot and I called it and it was her. Wtf? Then he sent me a long message saying I'm childish and that he will never work things out with me because I called her. its already established I didn't want to work it out. I just ignored him. I'm just wondering how my pregnancy is going to be while I'm alone.
  • mommyto1soontob2mommyto1soontob2
    U won't have to pay for divorce in the long run if he cheated. And u have proof. Save messages for the fact the phone company can print out texts. Whose his phone under?
  • CarleyCarley
    Make sure u save all messages. May be useful during divorce proceedings.
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    We are n
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    Oops sorry. We are under Verizon. He also stated in the messages he didn't cheat. Mostly that he loves her...
  • EiralynnesMommyEiralynnesMommy
    Honestly, if he leaves you like that while you're pregnant, then he's a coward. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I fought with my husband when I was first pregnant... and Just cried, a lot. He told Me that he'd leave me... but here's what I said, "do what you want, it takes two to make a baby, but it only takes one to love and care for it". And I told him that.

    He is not worth losing your baby over. And though my husband never left, I still stand by that. Good luck! I'm so sorry that he can't get himself together for your and babies sake.
  • mommyto1soontob2mommyto1soontob2
    Get the messages he sent to her. Of he was living a double life telling her stuff while married to u I doubt the judge will ignore it. My aunt found texts and got a print out. Found more messages. Took him to court. He's paying her back for the divorce. Plus the phone bill. Cause married u split everything. They split everything . Was funny cause he bought it all
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    I'm so frustrated. If I would have known all of this would happended I would have never married him or started trying for a baby. I can't wrap my head around all that is happening. My head is crazy right now
  • momof5momof5
    Don't let him win. We are women we know how to fight dirty. Start by shutting his phone off on him. Throw all his stuff out in the front lawn. Contact a lawyer and start movin the ball hunny. Take him for everything he has. Plus while your at it make sure you get child support and allomony (spelling?) Make him regret ever messing with you. Make sure you take time for you and take care of yourself and bean. :) good luck and praying for you.
  • sgthalesbabiessgthalesbabies
    If he stated in text messages he still loved her even if he didn't do any type of physical cheating, it's called an emotional affair. I would much rather have my hubby have had sex with another girl than be telling one he loved her. Also, with you being pregnant, this could qualify under emotional abuse. My first marriage I did all my divorce proceeding online and we met at the court house and filed together. Of course, we were still friends and didn't really have any assetts or children together, but the whole process only cost us about $150. You haven't been married long enough to get alimony, and depending on what state you are in, child support won't be enforced until after the child is born. You may want to go and speak to someone in the Dept of Family and Children services about if he has to provide healthcare for you during your pregnancy. Also, I don't know if you are still feeling stressed and depressed, but you can take an anti-depressant/anxiety short term without harming your baby. If you're under enough stress, this will be better for you then not sleeping, eating, and being sick.
  • bexbex
    So sorry this has happened to you. Some people have the delusion that getting married changes things for the better in a relationship. A lot of those same people believe that having a baby will bring them closer to their partner. What they don't understand is that they are actually just using those things (marriage and children) to distract themselves from their true feelings. Eventually those feelings catch right back up to them.

    It's unfortunate that he turned out to be this way and I'm sure devastating as well. I'm not trying to make light out of the situation but I will say that it's at least a good thing your child did not have to witness this betrayal first hand.
  • junebug86junebug86
    @mandabear its his lose if he was confused he should have never got married and defiantly shouldn't have tries for a baby but u have a little baby coming that will love you and always be there for u I've been thru the same thing so if u wanna talk or need someone to listen I'm here how far along are u and where r u from I live in tampa fl
  • biancathebeautybiancathebeauty
    Sorry to hear your going through this, I am going through a similar situation. I am not married though...we have been together for four years....we have a two year old daughter and I'm Almost due with our second child.....well he decided to leave me for his ex as well.....and yes it hurts like hell. At first I was having the same symptoms as throwing up and having the runs......its hard to deal with bc I want to cut him out my life but we have kids together, but I have made up my mind to let him go completely and if he wants to see his kids he can go get visitation rights. He now lives with the girl and her kids.....what type of man leave his own kids to go take care someone else's? Oh well, I'm here for u if u want to talk....we have a lot in common
  • MandaBearMandaBear
    Thanks. I'm fourteen weeks along. I feel like this is a dream. This doesn't feel real. I'm have a million different emotions running through my body. I hate everything right now. I live in Maryland.

    I'm jig even staying in our apartment because refuses to leave. I'm with my sister right now.
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