not mine...

hurts2cryhurts2cry
edited March 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
I honestly don't know what to do... my babies daddy is such a sweetheart to me... but ever since I told him we were pregnant things have been stressful. We love each other to death but he really isn't ready for this baby. I realize he's scared... but when he makes comments like well maybe you should find someone else to take care of your kid. It really upsets me, bc obviously I don't want to. He told me before that he isn't ready for a kid, so he doesn't want anything to do with it. He says he's just going to act like it isn't his, and avoid the subject. Sometimes he can be a sweetheart about it and we can go all day talking about how I'm feeling and how everythings going, and then other days its like a complete 180 and he is selfish and rude and says it isn't his and he don't want to talk about it at all. And hell be in a grumpy mood the rest of the time we talk.
We are moving in together in about 2 weeks, have been planning it since before I got pregnant. (I'm 6 and a half weeks). I feel the need to give him the chance to make things better when we live together bc things are always easier when we see each other (we live 2 hrs apart and only see each other every 2 wks.) I feel like things will get better, but I'm still scared... advice?

Comments

  • kkmommykkmommy
    They say a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant but a man doesn't become a father til he sees his child, my wording probably isn't correct but you get the point. It is hard for a man to acknowledge/have feelings for something he can't see or experience. When baby starts moving around and he can see and feel it, he may change and after baby is born he will more than likely regret the things he has said. Invite him to appointments especially ultrasounds, if he doesn't want to go, don't give him a hard time, but if he goes and sees and hears the heartbeat that could help change his mind too. He just needs some time for it to sink it. I hope you have other support until then and I wish you all the best in your situation...congrats mama...
  • hurts2cryhurts2cry
    @kkmommy thank you. I hope that's how it is... I honestly do, but I guess I'm just thinking the worst. Cause if I think the worst, then it can only get better? Idk. He told me before then when I start making appts that he won't go. That he doesn't want to bc he hates my baby n he's mad that I won't get rid of it... but I wanna believe in him, and hope that he won't always feel so horrible about it. Its just hard :( I have other support. But he's my best friend, and I talk to him more than anyone else. So its hard to talk to him and not bring it up. Bc he's my main line of support. Idk. I'm just confused.
  • Lynn25Lynn25
    Do u knw if he is seeing someone else cause thats harsh for him to say he hate the baby and want u to get rid of it
  • hurts2cryhurts2cry
    @Lynn25 I know that he isn't seeing someone else... he doesn't have time lol. He's busy with work and school, the only spare time he has he spends with me. I think he's just scared, and he isn't ready to give up everything for a baby, which I completely understand, bc I'm not ready either. He's just a little more selfish and immature about it. Bc I realize that I have no choice but to grow up, and he feels like if he just ignores it, then he won't have to grow up, and he can still do whatever he wants.
  • smiley114smiley114
    Some people say things just to hurt you. He may feel like if he hurts you enough you will decide not to have the baby. I think that's what mine was doing until I let him know, " hey, I will do this with or without you." He's coming around. My cousin went through the same thing with her guy and now their daughter is 3 and they got engaged last week. Sometimes things work out for the best but if not, be prepared to let him go and take care of your child.
  • laura536laura536
    6 weeks is barely pregnant, he hasnt had anytime to adjust at all. It can be terrifying for guys, both of my pregnancies have been planned and my hubby still freaks out for a few weeks everytime we get a positive test. Give him some time to come around to it. For a little bit, don't push him, let him bring it up to you and ask how you're feeling and stuff. He'll most likely be fine in a few weeks. Just have a back up plan in case he doesn't.
  • chelsanstinechelsanstine
    My boyfriend was the same exact way at first, now I am 21 weeks and he is amazing, going to the first ultra sound at 16 weeks really changed him, and now that he can feel the baby move he seems more connected. Give him time, once he realizes this is his baby too he will change.
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