Rene28 that is a hard situation for you to have to be in. You not only have to deal with the affair, the hiding of it for so long, and the chance he could have a child with her. I really hope that isn't his child at least it will be one less thing for you to have to worry about. Do you think your going to ask for the dna test to be done or just wait to see if she ever ask? My brother and sister n law broke up for a month and he slept with his ex from way back when one time and she got pregnant. He took the dna test and it is his child. He has nothing to do with the child but does pay child support. They live in another country now so he has a good reason not to see they child but he has said even if he did still live her he still wouldn't. Its sad because I know why he doesn't, he is afraid it will hurt his wife and there children. At the same time its sad for the child to never know her father. Your right its not just about the money. I feel for you and know if it does turn out to be his you will have some tough times ahead of you. It will change your marriage all over again but I know through your strength you both can over come the challenge it will make you face.
Perly I couldn't agree more about not depriving my child from his father. I will never do that, even though my husband has done me and yes my child wrong I still know he will be a good father. I don't want to hurt him even though he doesn't care about me anymore. I'm not a vendictive person but I am strugling with can I handle him being there. You have raised another good point that I haven't thought of (him using it against me later). This is all so complicated and everyday the direction changes. For now I'm going to take one day at a time and see how it goes. I have faith in God that he will lead me to the right path that is best for my child, myself, and my husband.
Well back in dec we got a letter for him to be ready for a dna test, agin I went into tears... I felt like bcuz of him this will always come back to hunt us. And I say us cuz im hes wife. I told him u need to get that over with and do a dna test he said he was afriad, but he called.. And they said he should b gettin a letter, to this poin were march and still nothin... I think more about it than what he does.. I let him know how I feel, and all he tells me is im sorry I will never hurt u agin... He says exactly what ur brother says, he wants nothin to do with the little girl. I dk, I know if it ends up being his, I want nothin to do with him. Sad to say after 8 yrs of being together its gonna go down d drain....
Rene, When I read this I feel your confusion, hurt, and pain. I know that you are just as confused as I am when it comes to my husband. It doesn't matter if the story line differs or even that your husband wants you and mine doesn't. Its still a shitty deal we have been dealt and there is history, children, and all the other feelings we aren't sure of that comes into play. I can't believe they are taking so long to get this test over with. I know its draging out the what comes next in life and completely understand what you mean when you say "always come back to hunt us" you are his wife and you don't want to have to deal with this anymore than he does but as a woman you have to know the truth so you can decide what you want to do. Either way rather its his and you stay or go or if its not his and you stay or go life will be bumpy. Just have faith and keep talking through it all. I know that helps me. I'm here for you. I'm so glad I posted my story on here, I glad I have met so many supportive woman who open there hearts to me and shared there life story. I'm especially glad I have met you and cinnabon.
Mybaby2011, im glad I met u both too. I never new about this ddc till I got preg this time. Never in a million year thought this would ever happen to me. It hapoen to alot of my close friends, but me?? I coulnt belive it.... But this is reality. And I know, they sure are taking for ever I dk y. And im sorry that ur husband wants nothin to do w u both. He will regret it. They think were here waitin for ever for them. Its not like that. And ur rt talking about it makes me feel a little better... C/s do u girlies have a fb?? U can find me at joviehernandez@yahoo.com
I am on FB. U can type in my name "Natasha Monique" its an outdoors pic of me on the grass. I'm special and for some reason don't know how to find someone by email address on there.
Anywayz... Rene, before my current hub and I were married, we went thru paternity drama. We were only friends when the girl got preg, but I never knew about her until we were in a full blown relationship. She comes outta nowhere and says she's having a baby and it was his (mind u, I had just found out I was preg...ended in mc). I was devastated. I don't know where u live, but in NJ, they have over the counter paternity tests. They bought one, follow the instructions, and mailed it in. 3 days later, the results were sent to his email. That simple! (Hes not the father). Is that an option for u guys? U really need to get this over with. It will drive u insane if u don't just know. Also, I know it will be hard to continue the marriage if it IS his, but u have already forgiven him and it seems as tho he's a good guy. If u do leave him, will it really make u feel better? After 8 yrs I think u will feel like crap. My husband has a bro and sis who were conceived outside his parents marriage. The marriage ended, but he longed to find his siblings and did and now they are all very close. So no matter what u decide to do, this child is a part (possibly) of ur children and may never go away. I'm very long winded and will shut up for now LOL. But look for me on FB
@mybaby2011 if he wants to be a part of this pregnancy I think u should allow him, tho every time u see him it will be an emotional setback. this is just when prayer comes in cuz there isn't much u can do about it on ur own. we as mommys will numerous times ---much further than the 18th bday--- make sacrifices for our children. sometimes we just have to accept the tears and pain and inconvenience if it means a better life for our children. and certainly no matter how hard it is for u, ur son will be much happier with his dad in his life. oh! And I'm completely with u on the copays! even I'd bare looking at my ex for an hour if it meant $100!
my husband cheated and did the whole i dont love you anymore thing and even left to be with her after i had my second child. He even continued to have a reletionship with her for 2 years after i found out and he decided to come back. I found that out after i had my last child 2 years ago. So it's been almost 5 years now, and we still have a rocky reletionship, but neither of us has gone anywhere. Our son will be born in 16 days. Even though it hurts like hell, eventually you just have to see it for what it is and just move on. Not saying move on with you life, just saying that you have to continue to do you. Believe me, i did a lot to get my husband to come back and I mean a LOT. and all it did was push him away further. Dont get to the desperate state I got to . Focus on the life of that baby you are carrying. Children bring such joy. I still get depressed from time to time thinking about it, but then i focus on my children and realize that Men will get what they deserve in the end. He will not be happy. Even if he is cruel and does not look like he cares, it's in his head. Just sit back, and enjoy pregnancy. Eventually he will come to you.....
Rene28, cinnabon I plan on looking both of you up on fb. My pic right now is white with red letters that say baby love.
Rene I agree with cinnabon about get the test over with asap. Also if it turns out to be his I know it will be tough but I hope at first you stay and at least try to work it out. Then if you can't do it then you can say you tried and you will know you are ok to move on. Plus she's right about that child will still be in your life someway or another.
Cinnabon I'm going to take your advice and let him go to the doctors appts and in the delivery room. You are right as a mom im going to have to make sacrifices to make sure my childs life is the best. Why not start now, also I don't want to regret this later. I'd rather be the bigger person and be able to live with myself.
Prettiekitty31 I'm done with begging and pleading for him to not do this to our family. Since march 16th I've only had contact with him 2x and they were on my terms not his. Also when I did speak with him I did not show any weakness. I just told him how great I am and how busy I've been. He has txt serveral small txt and a few calls but I did not respond. I'm keeping myself very busy to help keep my mind off it all. I still have my low points but they are coming less and less everyday. Since I don't know where my life is taking me, I'm now choosing to live my life as if he isn't coming back. When I think about where I want my life to be I set goals and I'm making plans so that they will come true. If someday he wants to come back, he will be in for a rude awaking. 1 I'm already not the same person I was a month ago. 2 I plan to grow even more and for me to take him back he will have to have changed also. Someday he might want to come back but I might not even want him them. Either way I want to be happy and I'm not going to depend on him for that anymore.
So this is my funny for my life that I'm working on. In Sept. I will be renewing my license plates and I plan to get personalized plates. Clearly its going to say something along the lines of how I'm better off. Here is some of my favs if anyone has any ideas let me know. In my state in can be 6 letters or numbers and 1 space.
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My brother and sister n law broke up for a month and he slept with his ex from way back when one time and she got pregnant. He took the dna test and it is his child. He has nothing to do with the child but does pay child support. They live in another country now so he has a good reason not to see they child but he has said even if he did still live her he still wouldn't. Its sad because I know why he doesn't, he is afraid it will hurt his wife and there children. At the same time its sad for the child to never know her father. Your right its not just about the money. I feel for you and know if it does turn out to be his you will have some tough times ahead of you. It will change your marriage all over again but I know through your strength you both can over come the challenge it will make you face.
You have raised another good point that I haven't thought of (him using it against me later). This is all so complicated and everyday the direction changes. For now I'm going to take one day at a time and see how it goes. I have faith in God that he will lead me to the right path that is best for my child, myself, and my husband.
When I read this I feel your confusion, hurt, and pain. I know that you are just as confused as I am when it comes to my husband. It doesn't matter if the story line differs or even that your husband wants you and mine doesn't. Its still a shitty deal we have been dealt and there is history, children, and all the other feelings we aren't sure of that comes into play.
I can't believe they are taking so long to get this test over with. I know its draging out the what comes next in life and completely understand what you mean when you say "always come back to hunt us" you are his wife and you don't want to have to deal with this anymore than he does but as a woman you have to know the truth so you can decide what you want to do. Either way rather its his and you stay or go or if its not his and you stay or go life will be bumpy. Just have faith and keep talking through it all. I know that helps me. I'm here for you.
I'm so glad I posted my story on here, I glad I have met so many supportive woman who open there hearts to me and shared there life story. I'm especially glad I have met you and cinnabon.
Anywayz... Rene, before my current hub and I were married, we went thru paternity drama. We were only friends when the girl got preg, but I never knew about her until we were in a full blown relationship. She comes outta nowhere and says she's having a baby and it was his (mind u, I had just found out I was preg...ended in mc). I was devastated. I don't know where u live, but in NJ, they have over the counter paternity tests. They bought one, follow the instructions, and mailed it in. 3 days later, the results were sent to his email. That simple! (Hes not the father). Is that an option for u guys? U really need to get this over with. It will drive u insane if u don't just know. Also, I know it will be hard to continue the marriage if it IS his, but u have already forgiven him and it seems as tho he's a good guy. If u do leave him, will it really make u feel better? After 8 yrs I think u will feel like crap. My husband has a bro and sis who were conceived outside his parents marriage. The marriage ended, but he longed to find his siblings and did and now they are all very close. So no matter what u decide to do, this child is a part (possibly) of ur children and may never go away. I'm very long winded and will shut up for now LOL. But look for me on FB
Rene I agree with cinnabon about get the test over with asap. Also if it turns out to be his I know it will be tough but I hope at first you stay and at least try to work it out. Then if you can't do it then you can say you tried and you will know you are ok to move on. Plus she's right about that child will still be in your life someway or another.
Cinnabon I'm going to take your advice and let him go to the doctors appts and in the delivery room. You are right as a mom im going to have to make sacrifices to make sure my childs life is the best. Why not start now, also I don't want to regret this later. I'd rather be the bigger person and be able to live with myself.
Prettiekitty31 I'm done with begging and pleading for him to not do this to our family. Since march 16th I've only had contact with him 2x and they were on my terms not his. Also when I did speak with him I did not show any weakness. I just told him how great I am and how busy I've been. He has txt serveral small txt and a few calls but I did not respond. I'm keeping myself very busy to help keep my mind off it all. I still have my low points but they are coming less and less everyday. Since I don't know where my life is taking me, I'm now choosing to live my life as if he isn't coming back. When I think about where I want my life to be I set goals and I'm making plans so that they will come true. If someday he wants to come back, he will be in for a rude awaking. 1 I'm already not the same person I was a month ago. 2 I plan to grow even more and for me to take him back he will have to have changed also. Someday he might want to come back but I might not even want him them. Either way I want to be happy and I'm not going to depend on him for that anymore.
So this is my funny for my life that I'm working on. In Sept. I will be renewing my license plates and I plan to get personalized plates. Clearly its going to say something along the lines of how I'm better off. Here is some of my favs if anyone has any ideas let me know. In my state in can be 6 letters or numbers and 1 space.
CME NOW, BTR OFF, MOVDON, IM GR8, IB FREE, BTR LIF
CME NOW IS MY NUMBER 1 FAV