Dating

yella_bellyella_bell
edited March 2011 in Single moms
I was seeing someone before I knew I was pregnant. He has a 7 year old of his own. Once I found out, I told him & he was supportive about it. He also has a thing for pregnant women. So what's the problem? Well I personally don't know if I still want to try and build a relationship at this time. I dont know if it's my hormones that have me so indifferent or I genuinely don't want a man. His effects to show me he's interested are inconsistent because he works so much. It's so annoying. Also I dont know if I want to consider anyone elses feelings right now. I know it sounds selfish but in a relationship someones feelings are ignored in an effort toward compromise. I dont want to be that one again. I'm so conflicted and he's so persistent. What to do?

Comments

  • MythicaMythica
    Do what makes you feel best. Do what you feel is right for you. Just don't let your hormones get in the way of what could be the best thing for you and baby down the line. I'm so glad I thought myself through them! I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks after bd and I split up. About a month after that, a friend of mine (who knew I was pregnant) and I spent Valentines day together, and he asked me the next day if we were a couple (cuz we had a really nice night, as though we WERE together). I am SO glad I decided that I wanted to give it a try. He's the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me. He's SO supportive, and he does everything he possibly can to make me as comfortable as possible.

    BUT! As I said before, it's all about you right now, doll. If you feel that being in a relationship isn't what you want, then it's not what you need. You need to work on getting a life for you and baby set up, one that's consistant and stable. If you don't feel that he provides that, then it's best to listen to your instincts. Priority numero uno during pregnancy: You. And baby's health. That's it.

    The choice is entirely up to you. =)
  • graciensmommygraciensmommy
    My bd was out of the picture by the time I was about 6wks and I never was able muster any interest in other guys while pregnant... even tho I really liked him before I just didn't want to put forth the energy LOL not selfish its Just practical
  • 2blessed2bestress2blessed2bestress
    edited March 2011
    Do what's best for u life dnt stop because your pregnet... but u dnt want to get in somethin because emotion because being pregnet u have a lot of emotion follow your heart I wish u the best
  • ashabashashabash
    @yella_bell I'm going thru the exact same thing. Before I was pregnant I wanted to be in a relationship so bad, I tried to become more than just fuck buddies with my baby daddy but that didn't happen and he wants nothing to do with the baby. So now even tho I feel really lonely, I just don't want to be involved with anyone. There's a guy who really likes me and has been very sweet to me, he knows I'm pregnant and doesn't have a problem with it. He has sent me flowers, and tonight he took me to dinner and a movie. He tried to kiss me and hold my hand but it just turned me off, I just have absolute no interest in being more than friends with him and I'm not sure how to handle the situation cuz he is a nice guy.
  • yella_bellyella_bell
    @Mythica I appreciate the advise & he knows me and my baby trumps anything in this world. The thing with me is I kinda feel like I shouldn't be with someone else & pregnant. I don't know why bc I know when the baby is here that I'm not gonna be single forever. Its just crazy but I can't shake it.
  • yella_bellyella_bell
    @graciensmommy lol you are absolutely correct. I do not have the heart to put myself out there and get disappointed. My hormones aren't in that kinda state. Plus he lives 2hrs away & long trips are getting harder. Dating before was difficult bc of my different lifestyle via religion but now with a baby, I feel like its impossible.
  • yella_bellyella_bell
    @ashabash I know what you mean on both sides. I tried with the father but he flipped when I got pregnant. Now I'm always up & down with guys period. I'm glad I'm not the only one bc this is frustrating.
  • yella_bellyella_bell
    @megangrif19 that's exactly how I feel, like my life should stop. I don't know what's appropriate for a mother-to-be right now so I've just stopped everything.
  • ashabashashabash
    @yella_bell same, i've stopped partyin, stopped dating, everytime a guy even tries to flirt with me i just ignore him. i don't even see my friends anymore because all they like to do is party, and i can't. i guess being a mother means making tons of sacrifices :[ plus with the whole dating thing, i think i'm so paranoid because when i am ready to be involved with someone i want to make sure he is the one and someone who is going to be like a father to my child and be there for me and my baby and make sure he doesn't leave. because i don't want to be the kind of person who just dates around and has men in and out of the babys life. when i do find someone i'm probably going to not let him meet my baby til i know he's serious about me
  • yella_bellyella_bell
    @ashabash I was never partying but I don't hang out with my friends anymore. And the dating thing is going to be really different. I don't want to be like other girls I know just latching on to anyone & letting them be in their kids lives but don't have experience with babies then end up mistreating them. I'll be under the jail lol that's the last thing I need
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