help.... family traditions

habibihabibi
edited March 2011 in Baby names
My father in law has made it very clear that he wants us to name our son after him. Its a family tradition, ie... my husband is named after his grandfather. We are from middle eastern decent and my father in laws name is yousif!!! Yousif is a muslim name and we are christian... its hard enough growing up being middle eastern cause most people associate middle easterns with terrorism. I love my father in law very much and he is a very very sweet man!! Plus he has been my priest since I was a child!! He is the only boy and my husband is the only boy! I'm afraid of naming our son yousif because I don't want my son to be discriminated against in life as a child or even as an adult... as we all know we live in a very cruel world. I don't know what I should do, I really don't want to hurt his feelings... but at the same time I don't want my son to suffer cause of it! Am I overreacting??? Please help

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    While it isn't anyone else's choice what you name your child, it does still happen where people think they have a choice or say. Perhaps choose it as a middle name? Or go online to a baby name site, look up the meaning, then search for other names with the same or similar meaning :) Good luck!!
  • mama_ukmama_uk
    edited March 2011
    I can understand your dilemma. My husband is a Muslim from northern Africa. We want to choose a name that works in both our religions and cultures, but don't want our child to be discriminated against like my husband has been. However at the end of the day, there will be no hiding of his/her origins and in my opinion there shouldn't be. Your middle eastern background is part of who you are and will be part of who your son is. I know there are a lot of ignorant people in this world and unfortunately this may make your son's life difficult, especially if he has a name like yousif. Therefore if you like that part of your culture and the name, then don't let it put you off. If people won't accept him because of his name, are they the type of people you want him to be around? Especially if he has to try to hide who he is. If you don't like the name and don't want your son to be called it, speak to your father-in-law about it. You could always have it as a middle name and choose a first name, that works in both cultures. Hope this helps. Good luck.
  • habibihabibi
    My nephews name is joseph, so I really don't want to name him that. I wouldn't mind making his middle name yousif but I'm really afaid of hurting his feelings :( .... I'm more worried about my him being discriminated against as an adult, ie... job wise.... I would hate for him to miss out on opportunities because of it. My husband has a middle eastern name and he's dealt with bs his whole life! And the sad part is that our families are so close my family is totally against me... they too are worried I will hurt his feelings! But yet my parents gave me n my brothers english names and both my brothers did the same with their kids! I feel like they're not taking what my son might have to endure into consideration. Hate feeling like I'm the only one taking my sons future into consideration... sucks... I feel like the bad guy
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @habibi- i totally respect and completely understand your concerns too. im kinda in the same boat. i wish more parents would take these kind of considerations into mind before they name their child something that puts them at a disadvantage from the start. its sad to say but it is a very predjudiced world out there, and we have to be conscious of this. Maybe you can still use the name as a middle name, and explain (maybe) that you want to start your own naming traditions within your new family,no disrespect intended to grandpa. good luck :)
  • ckazfirstckazfirst
    Use as a middle name. It's not a horrible name. But it would still be used so there!
  • cokaloka79cokaloka79
    I understand what u mean my father didn't want me to have a Hispanic name, I missed out on things because he didn't want me to b discriminated against. Be proud of your culture! And I think the name is pretty but Joseph is nice too!!
  • 20andNervous20andNervous
    Personally, I love the name. It shows his heritage and I think that is great. It sounds like a name that could be used in different cultures as well, and doesn't sound like the stereotypical Muslim names society makes fun of.
    If it is any help, my name is Anisi. That is uh-nee-see. It is an Arabic name. I am named after my Lebanese great grandmother. When I tell people this, they only care about the beauty of the name.
  • 20andNervous20andNervous
    Personally, I love the name. It shows his heritage and I think that is great. It sounds like a name that could be used in different cultures as well, and doesn't sound like the stereotypical Muslim names society makes fun of.
    If it is any help, my name is Anisi. That is uh-nee-see. It is an Arabic name. I am named after my Lebanese great grandmother. When I tell people this, they only care about the beauty of the name.
  • habibihabibi
    Please understand I am very proud of my heritage, I love being middle eastern! I love the culture, the language, the food, the traditions, and my family!!! I don't want my son to deny who he is or be ashamed!!! I just don't want him to be judged by his cover.... ie.. he submits a resume for a job, they might give someone the upper hand if they are prejudice!!! 20andnervous, do you have brothers, cousins, uncle's with middle eastern names??? I ask because I wonder if they use their name or go by a shorter American sounding name??? Alot of my family members have middle eastern names but they go by shorter easier to remember names... ie.... kal instead of Khalid..... ed instead of emad.... Sam instead of husam.... Joseph instead of yousif.... Zack instead of Zaid.... I can keep going and going but I think u understand where I'm trying to go with this!!! PS.... I love your name its very beautiful!!! I think naming a girl a cultural name is beautiful!!! I hate to say it but women get less crap then men do (majority of the time)!!!
  • lovingmyunbornlovingmyunborn
    I think if you like the name what the world thinks shouldnt matter.....everyone cares about what the "white man" thinks who cares! If he doesnt get a job/friend/etc.. because of who he is than that job/friend/etc is not meant for him and he shouldnt want either in his life...if your going to raise him with pride regardless of his name people will know his background...like myself for example my mama gave me a "white" name because she thought i wouldnt be discriminated but NEWSFLASH im still black and employers will see that so it completely defeats the purpose...what im trying to say is your son will still be middle eastern choose a name that you like....good luck!
  • 20andNervous20andNervous
    Very true on the men and women point. I was the only one in my family to be named anything remotely unique, so no on that. But I do like the idea of giving him that first name and going by another. It gives him the option to use it later on in life.
  • mama_ukmama_uk
    You could always write it as Joseph but pronounce it as yousif. Then he would have the choice when he grows up.
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