from happy family to single mummy

yummymummy11yummymummy11
edited January 2011 in Pregnant
Ok everything was fine until i asked my partner to spend more time with me when he said no i left. am i being unreasonable? he spends almost every night with his mates and i feel left out and lonely. should i put up with feeling like this so that my baby has a full time father or should i just be the best mummy i can be??? please help feeling upset, scared and totally confused.

Comments

  • babygirlnbabiesbabygirlnbabies
    Be the best u can I'm going threw it now n it sucks n is very depressing really makes me feel less of a person cause I'm soo strong lets rephrase that my family says I used to b strong n now I have a man n I'm always alone may as well b single number one rule I learn never let family no about prob. At home

  • lilyanahsmamalilyanahsmama
    Babygirlnbabies I'm with you on be the best you can be but yummymummy11 you have to understand what your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes if you love this man and he loves you I think you should sit him down and try to come to some type of agreement if that can't be reached you can definitely do it on your own I always think it is healthier to have both parents but unfortunately it don't always work out that way I really do wish you the best of luck babe!!
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    He knows i have been feeling like this for a while and never changed he just moans and shouts if i asked to spend time with him. and i also used to be strong now i feel weak and feel like i need him to be happy but when i have him he makes me sad
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    @Lilyanahsmama and @babygirlnbabies
  • StarKrayzieStarKrayzie
    @yummymummy11 My daughter's father was like that. He found all the time in the world to spend w/ his friends but if I asked him to spend time w/ me all hell would break lose because he'd say I was too needy & suffocating him. Even though he upset me & made me miserable I stayed w/ him for the sake of my daughter & I ended up letting him walk all over me until my daughter was almost 2 years old. The best thing I ever did for myself & her was to kick him out. I don't think it would be unreasonable if you left for a little while & gave him time to consider what's at stake if you leave for good. If you continue to give in & stick around then he'll never change. You have to do something dramatic to make him realize your serious. Children deserve to have two parents but that doesn't mean they have to be the birth parents. There are men out there that will respect and appreciate you & love your child as their own if your boyfriend won't. My daughter hasn't seen her father since the day before her 2nd birthday but I found a wonderful man who loves her unconditonally. That's her daddy in her eyes. I'm here if you wanna talk.
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    edited January 2011
    @StarKrazie thanks I'm so lost its only been recently that this has been going on and i don't know why, he doesn't say I'm to needy but that i am trying to rule his life and keep him locked in the bedroom but i only sit in the bedroom cos i don't want to sit with his mates i said he could have 3 days with his mates and 4 with me which i thought was a fair compromise especially considering he has 4 other children who live with us he just doesn't seem to priorities me or his children over his mates I'm 22 and pregnant with first child and just think i deserve better. i can't stop crying cos i really do love him but its not fair on me so it won't be fair on his unborn daughter.
  • lilyanahsmamalilyanahsmama
    Oh girl go without him I am not being judgemental but from what you've said he sounds like an asshole n you do not need that!
  • jcmommyjcmommy
    edited January 2011
    Does he not spend any time with you? Or is it that you want more time? Don't you feel like you would like a break sometimes and hang out with friends? Sounds like you guys are young, I'm young too at 23. I don't want him to stop me from hanging out with my friends, so I don't stop him. Men get tired of us if they have to spend too much time, they say we're nags, which always leads to arguments. Do you still want him in your life is the big question? You have to work it out. Him hanging out with his friends is not a big deal in my eyes. Men have to find joy outside of the home. It's either a friend or secret girlfriend. At least he's at home and you have forever to spend with him. Just sayin
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    edited January 2011
    @jcmommy He only spends time with me when his mates are at work. and yes its nice to have a break but i don't need or want a break from him as i don't see him enough. i want him in my life the way he used to be but he said he won't change.
  • StarKrayzieStarKrayzie
    Everybody needs time to get out & be with friends but it sounds like that's all he ever does. Is he taking care of his kids or are you? He sounds like he missed his chance at being a young single guy & now he's making up for it. In my opinion I wouldn't stick around but only you can decide what's best for you & your daughter.
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    He is 32 and his oldest is 14 and even he admits that i do everything for his kids. i love him and the kids to bits but just unsure of how much i can take of feeling single even tho I'm in a relationship. Think its for the best if i stay away, just wish things were different. so upset and depressed :( @StarKrayzie
  • StarKrayzieStarKrayzie
    @yummymummy11It's never easy making the choice to walk away. Sadly though sometimes it's what's best. I wish you luck in your situation & wish you the strength to do whatever's best for you & your child.
  • jcmommyjcmommy
    Seriously? Not to be harsh, but really? You're giving up on your relationship because he hangs out with his friends? It's different if you add in cheating, drinking and drugs and not working and can say that he's a total dead beat then yes I will understand. You have to see how its like after the baby is born. If he won't man up then, then its ok to say at least you tried.
  • yummymummy11yummymummy11
    @jcmommy if i wait until after the baby is born it will be harder to leave.
  • jojo30jojo30
    My 4 year old sons dad was the same. Always out with his mates I even struggled to get hold of him when I went into labour. He used his paternity leave as a holiday and spent it in the pub. I walked out when my son was 6 weeks old and I've never looked back. He still sees his son once a week and I have met someone new we have just bought a house together and are expecting a baby in may. He considers himself a father to my son my son adores him and I am sooooo much happier than I was 4 years ago. I say do what feels right but just know there is a chance of happiness if you leave him x
Sign In or Register to comment.

© Vanilla Keystone Theme 2025