emotional train wreck (long)

lilly45833lilly45833
edited March 2011 in Third Trimester
Im 21 yrs old, got married when i was 18 to a soldier. This soldier has turned my life into hell. I left my home state of ohio where my family lives to move to north carolina to be w him. I gave him every last bit n piece of me n He leaves me for a younger girl. he has done nothin but cheat n lie to me. As much as it hurt me i gave him chance after chance thinkin things would change. I wanted our marriage n i poured my heart into fixin it but it got worse. He screwed me over on insurance n money. My dad had to buy me a plane ticket to bring me home. Now he's stuck on playin mind games w me n tellin me he loves me n wants this marriage only cuz im preg w a boy. I said i cant put myself thru the heartache anymore n he threatens not only my life but my child's health. I asked for my clothes n he said fuk off, til u get a court order sayin i have to give them to u, u cant have anything. Im due anytime now w our first child n idk whether i should let him be there or not. Im like so stressed out n just want to cry n cry n cry. Advice plz....

Comments

  • boofacebooface
    edited March 2011
    Wow. Ok there's a lit going on here but first things first. Protect yourself and your child at all costs. Record everything. Save every text message, email, and if possible phone call. If you have to, take his calls on speakerphone with witnesses present. Then get a protective order. When your child is born you will have to fight very hard but it is not impossible to implement supervised visitation only for him. Please don't take this lightly. I don't want to freak you out but out here in California a young dad was just recently in the news for kidnapping and stabbing his child to death. Anytime someone threatens your and your child's safety, every precaution should be taken!

    Now two, take care of yourself. Don't let yourself be sucked into his mind games. Find your self worth again. You deserve and will have better as soon as you allow yourself to move forward. You have a baby that deserves to have the best out of you. You can do this even if it seems like the hurt won't ever end.
  • nicksmommynicksmommy
    i personally would just stay away from him...his not gonna change..
  • camommycamommy
    If you have proof of the threats take them to his comanding officer they can help you.
  • PreggoGigglesPreggoGiggles
    Any type of threatening info you should definitely keep. Also not sure if you're aware of this but cheating in the military is actually a federal offense and you could send him and the girl he's cheating on you with to federal prison. That's only if you want to take it that far but it is something you could do.
  • Karla_with_a_KKarla_with_a_K
    Sounds like hes playin mind games with you. It would probably be in yalls best interest to leave him alone.
  • cetheridgecetheridge
    @preggoGiggles. They can't do anything.to her she's not held under the ucmj and adultery in the military is so prevalent.in the military in the last 6 years I've never seen anyone actually charged w it and get jail. Busted down rank yeah. @Lilly45833 if u have any documentation of the threats etc get ahold of hsi chain of command and they will make him return ur things and deal w him accordingly.
  • lilly45833lilly45833
    Ive tried everything w the military n they ignored me. I even talked to him xo n sent proof n he told me its not proof. They refused to let me talk to commander n when i did he told me they had no xo under that name or #. I could care less wat girl he wants i just wish he'd stop playin these pathetic mind games. I dnt need this stress. Ive had so many complications cum up since he started this. I cant even walk out my house w o havin ppl follow me. Do u guys think i should let him c the baby or make him get a court order?
  • YNVTishYNVTish
    Girl... this is very very simple to resolve. The military has a no tolerance rule when it comes to marriage and cheating. All you have to do is call his sargent and tell him everything. Trust me, by next week you'll have your clothes AND your monthly benefit payment your entitled to for being his wife plus the baby too.

    Time to look out for yourself !!!
  • CeliaAgnesCeliaAgnes
    Um @lilly45833, in my opinion you'd be making a serious mistake by letting him be involved in your childs life without court supervision. I don't know how that all works but he sounds unstable and abusive and not like someone that would be great for your child :/
  • HavingNumber4HavingNumber4
    Relocate n tell no one u can do it I did it his chief is not goin to help trust I know just relocate
  • lilly45833lilly45833
    I already moved out n now live w my cousin which he doesnt know about. I was thinkin of just puttin him on a block list at my dr's to where he cant be there nor get information on anything unless i give it. I just cant deal w the b.s. anymore. I did my half on tryin n i just cant hurt myself anymore. I have nvr hated anyone til i met him. N i hate the shit he's puttin me thru. After today n everything i dnt want him seein my son that i did all the hard work on helpin him grow n be healthy until he pays my medical bills he screwed me on. Anyone know if i have the right to give my unborn son my maiden name legally?
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    Yes mom picks last name if spayed single divorced no matter what
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    Separated
  • CeliaAgnesCeliaAgnes
    @sunshinelove couldnt help but laugh at your autocorrect error, spayed haha
    @lilly45833 do you have a decent support system? Friends? Family?
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    xD
  • lilly45833lilly45833
    Yes. my dad has receipts provin everythin i have for baby was from friends n family. He hasnt bought a dam thing. Legally im still married but we havent lived together since sept.
  • lovfaithhaplovfaithhap
    Is very hard what you going thru, but if he has threaten u and ur bby, dont let him near the hospital, bcs it could be worse, also i would put a restrainting order agains him, and if u have prove of the thing he has done to you take it to court, but dont take any recorded statement since is illegal, bcs u have to have his authotization to record the conversation. But you and ur bby are better alone and you have family and friends that would be there for u . Take care
  • lilly45833lilly45833
    I have recordings of him. In the state of ohio its not illegal. Plus either way he takes it i have his concent. N the police told him when i filed a report that ill be recording my phone calls from him.
  • linabbylinabby
    In nc you can sue her for sleeping with your husband. I live in jacksonville and was married and now divorced to a marine. First thing you should do is call his fro (family rediness officer) and let her know what's going on. Also if you are not receiving separation pay you should talk to them about that also. Technically anything he owns belongs to you. As long as he is not overseas the fro should be able to help you. Get a restraining order on him. Ask to speak to the fro about the situation and if they don't help go to his chain of command and don't ask to speak to his Sgt ask to speak to someone with ALOT of rank like his 1st Sgt, c/o, or x/o. This situation shouldn't be taken lightly and can be handled so in the best interest of you and your child if done correctly.
  • linabbylinabby
    And if worse comes to worse call the congressman for nc. Tell him the situation. And im sure it will light a fire under some asses to get you the help you need. And as far as your medical bills go shouldn't you have tricare?
  • lilly45833lilly45833
    Heres the thing, tricare told me my insurance stops jan 31 cuz he was gettin out. I was like ok n got on medicade which they checked w tricare to make sure. Sure enough i was than accepted for medicade. Then here to come he got out to join the reserves n some how im back on tricare and had 8 bills sent to me. May i add im in the state of ohio which doesnt have any army bases. Idk wat 2 do.
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