Anyone ever have a misscarriage? I need some questions answerd please

des10eLVdes10eLV
edited March 2011 in Health
Well today I went to the dr again for the second time and they have confirmed that my baby has stopped growing since we cannot hear nor see the heartbeat. I would have been 3 months and 2 days but it shows my baby has stopped at 8 weeks. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone threw. Like I've said before I'm only 19 and I didn't think this would happen. I'm jus doing my best to get past this. I feel really alone cuz I don't have many to talk to. I have my mom and dad but I can't talk to them about this. And my boyfriend which would of been the babys father, seems like he is over it already. He didn't even come with me and my mom this morning to the ultra sound! Pissed me off!!! But what I really need help with is what to do next. Meaning to have a D&C or let everything come out on its own. I don't want it to be painful. Has anyone had a d&c if so how was it? Or have u let it come out on its own? Please tell me your stories and if yu regret which one yu did? I'm not sure which one I want to do and who better to ask than women who have been there done that. Thanks =)

Comments

  • Babiphatt86Babiphatt86
    Im sorry for your loss hun..I know the feeling of not hearing the heartbeat..miscarried sept 1st and had the d and c done on september 2..I couldn't deal with constantly looking into the toilet,knowing that my baby would pass..so I went thru with the procedure and I was sent home.. Everyone is different, try and your head up sweetheart, as for your boyfriend..men handle situations differently..my husband also seemed distant about the situation, but I had to realize he doesn't understand what it takes to carry a little one..its like a switch for women when we know theres a baby growing inside us..we change or eating habits, our mindset, ect..go with what you are comfortable with..hugs
  • alilbouldingalilboulding
    So sorry to hear.. In 09 I l found out at 10 wks that the baby didn't make it past 5. I chose to have a d&c. I personally did not want to be reminded everyday until it passed. The mc was painful, but the d&c wasn't. They put me under. I felt nothing afterwards n I don't regret the decision.
  • jalemjalem
    i had two miscarriages one in 2008 and one in 2009 after it happened i couldnt be around the babydaddy at all for about two weeks... both my m/c i had everything come out on it's own my doctors recommended it because occasionally d&c can cause damage to the uterian walls... the hardest part was when my water broke two days after going to the hospital(i was 15wks) and having to push out the sack and the baby by my self going through contractions in the bath tub while my dad stood outside telling me he didnt know what to do. i refused to go back to the hospital to pass it... when i was done my dad and i went in the back yard and buried my lil baby. do what you feel is more comfortable for you... but dont get mad at your baby daddy because he may be hurting just as much as you but boys are taught not to cry... good luck *huggggg*
  • mommyto1soontob2mommyto1soontob2
    Both are painful i say. I've had both and the dnc makes sure to get everything
  • brodysmammabrodysmamma
    That has happened to my best friend 2 now And she had to have a d&c both times because baby wasn't passing. It turns out she has a hormone problem so make sure to get checked
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Im very sorry for your loss hun, I went through the same thing on mothers day last year. I had the dnc. If I was to let it pass, it could have taken weeks and since baby was gone for 3 weeks already, I was getting an infection. Also if you let it pass yourself, you have to bring the remains into the hospital to get it tested to be sure everything has passed, I myself could not do that at all. After a dnc they ask you to wait 2 to 3 cycles to get pregnant again and your cycles can become very irregular. Mine were every 6-7 weeks. !fret cycle 2 the doctor gave us the okay and we got pregnant again right away, im now 29 weeks with our second little girl. Best of luck hun and im sorry for your loss.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I m/c at 13 weeks earlier this year. It was very sudden and happened early one morning. I wish I would have had the chance to have a D&C, I feel like it would have been less hard
  • 4senough4senough
    I've had eight confirmed miscarriages, and only one d&c. They usually passed within a couple of weeks. I chose to do it naturally because i have other kids and no babysitter or car. Both ways were hard, emotionally more than physically. You will go through something like labor, with pains to open your cervix, after some time, the sac will pass. Mine were early, so everything was intact, placenta and sac. After, i had period cramps and bleeding for about a week, but i was tired. When i had the d&c, they put me to sleep and when i woke up it was over. Still had cramps and bleeding, but they gave me meds for it. Its a personal choice, really, i just wanted you to know how it was for me.
  • Yayal0vesy0uYayal0vesy0u
    Im so sorry for your loss. I went through a miscarriage in 2008, I went in for my second appt, I was 12wks but baby had stopped growing at 8wks. It was a very emotional & difficult experience I decided to let it pass naturally, and.although it was painful and a bit sad I didnt feel violated as I would if someone went in there to take the fetus out of me. my boyfriend stayed up with me the whole night I went through it and I def needed someone. But I agree with all the others its a personal choice.
  • ashleyr0512ashleyr0512
    My baby stopped growing two weeks ago and we lost its heart beat. I had my d and c this past Thursday. I've had no pain right after. In fact my bf on sat took me out riding jet skis to get out the house and take my mind off it. It had been a year since I rode jet skis. So having to use my abdominal muscles to balance caused me a good bit of pain. Other than that its been nothing. I would reccommend the d and c because u don't know how ur body will react. U could bleed for a month if u pass it alone and become anemic requiring a blood transfusion or u could bleed one day and that be all. Its just easier to have one. It could be a month before ur body passes the baby. I. Couldn't imagine having my baby in there for a Month longer knowing it would never grow
  • beaded_bunnybeaded_bunny
    I've had 6 m/c all passed naturally. I've gotten PID twice from bits that didn't pass.
  • AlmostThereAlmostThere
    I understand you're situation I was 16 with my miscarriage nd my whole family seemed to get over it quick including my baby father. I was 19 weeks nd my stopped growing at 15 weeks. As for the baby dad don't b mad at him most likely he is just trying to appear stromger than he actually is. I actually caught my bf crying about it nd it happened last year. I kno I'm young but I can tell you keep your head up. Nd keep going a day at a time.
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    I'm 19 as well, I miscarried on Feb 19th at 6 weeks. I let it happen naturally (tmi sorry) but the sac and baby came out in my hand while I was cleaning up in the shower. Its been tough, but I find comfort here talking with people about it. I am very sorry you have to experience this. I'm here to talk to if you need me :)
  • FaithMom77FaithMom77
    Warning: what im about to say contains detailed info. I had a m/c that passed naturally so I didn't have the option for a d&c ( not sure if I would have had it tho either until im ever in that situation). But anyways I saw the fetus pass at about 8 weeks. I was at the hospital when it passed. It came out whole and was one of the saddest days of my life. Although it was only about a lil bigger than the size of a quarter, I was able to see in detail the head and what would be the bottom. I still remember that image in my head today although it was two yrs ago and I have since given birth to a lil grl. So if u let it pass naturally be prepared emotionally for what you may see. Whatever your decision, it will be hard. Im sorry for your loss tho and hope my story helps whatever u decide
  • momofSOONtobe7momofSOONtobe7
    edited March 2011
    Sorry for your loss hun. It is pretty hard!! I lost mine march 10th and I had th same thing happen to me. I went into the doc for my ultrasound and they didn't find a heartbeat. I was 14 weeks along. It was horrible. I have had such a hard time with this loss. Something I did to find a bit more comfort was I named the baby, I addressed a letter to my baby and wrote "him" a letter and I found comfort in talking to other people on here. It takes time but time will never heal a wound or scar!!!! Take comfort in God, friends and family!!! Again sorry for your loss hun. It really sucks!!! If you need need someone to talk to im here!!!! @faithmom77 no way could I have done it naturally!!!! For that reason. It was hard enough for the d&c but it was way better then doing it naturally!!!!!
  • m2bhopem2bhope
    I also have experienced two mc. One in Dec 09 and again in may 2010. The first one I lost at 6 weeks so it didn't really have a chance. The second time I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks 2 days and the baby died at 6w 4 days and we didn't know until 10 weeks. Sadly I know what you are going through. We opted for d/c. It wasn't painful physically until the next day. It wasn't unbareable. The cost of everything afterwards was a painful reminder until it was paid. We waited about 8 months before conceiving again. It is very difficult and the heartache takes time. Your man may be grieving in his own way and he was probably not as attached as you were. As he must be sensitive to you remember to be sensitive to him. I am so sorry for your loss. Best of luck to you and things will happen for you when you are ready.
  • HonestlyHopefulHonestlyHopeful
    Man I knew I shouldn't have read this.. I'm 12 weeks tomorrow. And I been praying and hoping I make it past this next week.. I guess I now have to hope I make it passed 20 weeks.. But I been worried a lot because I had a miscarriage in november. I was 8 weeks and the baby stopped growing at 5. I was bleeding just a little and decided to go to the ER just to make sure everything was okay. But they told me that I was 5 weeks and that to come back in a week to check the growth. I passed the baby not even 2 hours after. Went back and they didn't believe me, they just got mad that I came back so soon and wasnt bleeding tremendously. They didnt even look at the baby I had in my underwear. so much for valley medical center being top ten on the nation.... -.- I decided to go to a obgyn. And they did the lab work and determined that I infact had passed my baby I was depressed for a month. I found my boyfriend very upset over it. I wish all you laides luck in this pregnancy. Try not to stress. smile everyone (:
  • 2ndtry2ndtry
    Omg I've read every story on here, now I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one that had a m/c. Lost my baby @ 10 wks. I kind of knew something wasn't right, I felt Sharp pain in my lower stomach, I took a long hot bath, I put on a panty liner about 10 min later I checked it to see if I was bleeding, there was blood everywhere. my BF took me to the emergency room. the pain was unbearable. the doc gave me some pain med, two mins later I felt my baby coming out. after I was discharged, two days later the remains of my baby came out while I was using the bathroom. after the pain @ the hospital, I didn't have any more. now um ttc again. hopefully it sticks. but I know Wat ur going through, do Wat u feel comfortable doing... hugs & kisses to all.
  • MamaOf5DueNjune17MamaOf5DueNjune17
    Im sorry mama for ur lozt da same happend too me 4yrs ago its gona be okay.. he or she is in ah betta place now im sorry again nd u well gwt blessed win da time is rite... Much.love
  • BabyRosaleeBabyRosalee
    I mc in 07. I also felt my bf got over it quick, in fact he was so stressed about the unplanned pregnancy and the weeks of worrying (i had cramping and spotting from the start and monitored my hormone levels for 9 wks) he almost seemed happy it was over. I went to see my former therapist and she recommended I write a letter to my baby sayin gbye. We both wrote something and walked by the river, read it out loud, tore up the pages and let the blow away in the wind. I never knew how sad he was til that day. I was finally able to move on. It will stay with me forever but I'm ok now.
  • des10eLVdes10eLV
    Thank u ladies for ur stories. I had my d and c this morning. I didnt want the surgery but I didnt want to be in pain and bleed for weeks. It wasnt that bad tho. I have little cramps right but nothing bad. Today was sad for me.. Even tho my little baby inside me was no longer alive I didnt want it out. I guess I wanted go be pregnant that bad. Im just hurt still that I lost my baby. I still cant get over that this happen. I cant wait to try again next year
  • BellamommaBellamomma
    I had a d and c and was back to work the next day, no pain meds.

    Men deal with things differently. I cried. He pulled away for a bit. He hung out with friends a lot. I was alone (I started with miso, but it didn't all pass so a week later I had the d and c.) He is not over it, just has to process it in his own way.
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