:(

mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
edited February 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
2 days later and my partner tells me he's not sure about having a baby. Then he leaves me in the shower crying and goes plays video Games :( he's one of those ppl who hate to plan. We thought we were pregnant in the first month of dating but it turned out negative and he told me he was dissapointed.. so he wanted to try again after a year. It's almost 2years now so he said ok let's try and 2 days later he now doesn't know. I've been told just to let it go by a friend but I know then it will never happen. I know if I fell pregnant he'd prob love it but he gets all freaked out when he plans... should we jst keep trying without me saying a word about babys or is that really weird...
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Comments

  • katlillykatlilly
    Same exact thing happened to me, but hubby is so excited now he can't keep his mouth shut about it! I think he'll come around. Its a scary thought for men
  • AR1020AR1020
    Why don't you talk to him about it. Tell him that ur ready to have a baby and see how he feels. Maybe he just freaks out about the pressure of making a baby.
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    Yeah that's what I thought. The friend that told me to leave him alone doesn't have kids and she's the type that wouldn't want to get pregnant but if she did she'd be over the moon Haha. So should I jst not say a word and hope he doesn't "pull out" lol if you know what I mean. Who knows, I may be pregnant already! PRob is he wants to talk to his mum.. she told me she wanted a grankid already but I know she will tell him opposite because he has a 10,000 debt he's paying off.. thing is I will still get government help for my daughter and child support and he will be working... I lived off 170 a fortnite and managed to buy all my daughters stuff when I was 17.. I know we will be fine money wise but his mum is a big spender so I bet she will say were idiots.. Gah sorry to unload that on you, I Jst really got my hopes up and I'm really upset :(
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @AR1020 we have spoken. that's how we decided to have a baby. but then I asked him if he wanted to try again today and he said maybe its not a good idea. we talked a bit but it jst makes him more scared. I feel like if I leave it, it will take the pressure off him and now were not using protection at all, it can jst happen. that's the way he wanted it, he didn't want to plan it
  • AR1020AR1020
    Well thats not so bad. Its better than him saying her doesn't want kids at all. It kinda takes the stress off the two of you. And you will probably concieve easier. Just relax and let things happen.
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    If its what you really want, then I would suggest to him to not "try" but also not try "not to"... just let nature take its course & when it happens it will be meant to be... my best friend & her husband conceived this way because she wanted a baby & he was a little scared of it- this took some of the pressure off, she got preggers, and they both were thrilled & got what they wanted. Bonus? You won't have to lie about it ;) good luck!
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    :) thank you Xx
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    A little evil, yes, but you can also track your fertile days & just casually initiate sex, lol... but I didn't tell you that. ;)
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @AR1020 thank you :) @vette_devil lol I wasn't planning on lying about it! I ment ill stop talking about it and jst let it hasten. I completely agree with your idea! That's how he said he wanted to do it but I decided to ask him when if would like me to take a test and he got all jumpy.. thanks so much for your advice guys. I feel much less hysterical now lol
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @vette_devil sorry I'm using the app on my phone so its slow. Haha that is very evil but I can't track as I will have irregular periods because I've jst had the rod taken out!! lol and I feel bad being dishonest so I guess if its ment to happen it will. and if it takes too long, maybe ill track :p
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    Lol, gotcha... I just ASSumed ( ;) ) you were refering to the unfortunate pinhole-in-a-condom method like my sister mentioned she thought about, and I was like, nooooooooo! :)
    Good luck, I'm sure it will happen soon!
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    Haha oh no Definatly not Haha. But that is funny. No were using pull out method. He obviously isn't that worried because that's how I concieved my daughter lol!
  • jess33jess33
    MAke sure you really love the person you are procreating with...you will be locked to him for the rest of your life. And its not easy when ur not married.....
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    It's not easy, married or not!
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    Lol yes I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Married doesn't make a difference. He has proposed before but I said no at the time so hes serious aswell. I've had one baby already so I'm a lot more careful this time and we have worked through a lot together and I've decided now is the time :)
  • JorjiegirlJorjiegirl
    I realize everyone is on a different schedual but dating for 2 years doesn't seem like your at the trick him in to a baby point. My dh and I are expecting our first. She will officially join the family pictures right around our 11 year anniv. At year 2 he was not on the baby boat.
  • aug22babyaug22baby
    I went through something similar to this...We stopped using condoms about 2 years ago, just because sex was better without lol. But about a year ago, we were talking about not trying but not trying not to get pregnant either. I had a Plan B pill that I got at the clinic a while before (they just give it to you). We had been using the "pullout" method, but one day he didn't and the next day I asked him "are you sure, cuz what if...last night" and he told me to take the pill :( I was soo upset, how could you one day want to have a baby and the next not! But he never started pulling out again. So now, here we are a year and some later, and pregnant. And he is more excited than I could have ever thought!!
  • mscheylamscheyla
    @mommy_to_be has he had a guys night or work with any friends that may have changed his mind?
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @Jorjiegirl excuse me? Trick him?? We have been talking about this for a while now and he asked me to get my Implanon rod taken out so we could start trying. But he has obviously gotten a bit scared, probably because I've been so excited and maybe a bit overwhelming. In no way would I ever trick him!! I'm a very honest person. HE knows I can fall pregnant easily and yesterday he decided to not pull out so obviously he want one. I jst got upset because he got scared today. I thought this was for moral support?
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @agu22baby yeah I know hes the same lol. We talked about it for so long and then he's like, go to the docs. Get that thing out of your arm, I want a baby lol!! But I think I've jst freaked him out because I've been through it before and so I started planning Haha. bit too full on I guess. Thank you for your story, really cheered me up :) @mscheyla same as above lol. No ones talked him out of it. I'm scared of him to talk to anyone though cause I know some of his friends are anti baby!! But I think it was me being to overwhelming about it!!
  • JwigsJwigs
    We decided to stop pulling out and I got pregnant less than two months later!
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    Yey!!
    That's Awsome. I hope it happens soon. After our little tif if caught me looking at a preg test and was really cool about it lol. I'll keep you all updated
  • tiff87124atiff87124a
    I'm sorry but it does sound like you're trying to trick him. He's changed his mind and whether that's a temporary or permenant setback, you need to respect that. If he's reacting this way to just the idea of getting pregnant, how do you know that he's going to have the reaction you want when that test turns positive? Something is obviously bothering him and I think you should concentrate on that more than trying to get pregnant.
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    Oh my goodness, I would never comment on someones life like that. You don't know him.. and he's read these comments and agreed.. once again if decided to try last nite. He obviously jst wants me to not talk about it and overwhelm him so early on. I remember the first time I was pregnant and my mum came to the ultrasound and started screaming, crying hooting and I jst layed there. I wasn't even excited to see my baby because she took all the excitement. MAybe he jst needs to get excited on his own. if he didn't want one, he wouldn't still be trying. I don't see how leaving him alone to make his own decision is tricking either??? I stop pushing it on him and I get called a tricker...
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    And I'm not sure if you would have read it but I did say we thought we were pregnant before and he was over the moon.. I guess it was jst the stress of trying and me being all excited in his face...
  • tiff87124atiff87124a
    You came on here asking for people's opinions, and that's what you got. You're right, we don't know your bf so instead of asking us our opinions, ask the person who's opinion really matters: HIS! Maybe you're overwhelming his with being so excited, who knows. But don't ask for opinions and advice if you don't want honest answers.
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @tiff87124 I wanted advice. My question was, he wants a baby but has gotten scared. What shld I do to help this. Thank you for your opinion but it was more like a judgement, not advice.
  • tiff87124atiff87124a
    And I told you that you should talk to him about it and try to get to the root of the problem. It was not meant as judgement but take it however you want. Good luck.
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    My husband did the same thing when we tried for our first; he came home from work & had been talking to his a respected co-worker who had told him "You're ready for a baby when your wife's ready for a baby"... lol... so we decided to start trying & the next day we were both like "whoa... is this what we really want?!?"... well, we backed off & thought about it for a few days & decided to keep going & were pregnant the first month. If you're both in agreement, then good luck ;)
  • mummy_to_bemummy_to_be
    @vetta_devil thank you :) we did both agree and It's been a week since lol so I think he jst panicked. Guess we will jst wait and see what happens but I think It's best if I jst keep my excitement and thoughts to myself and let him come back down to earth Haha
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