help please

theswift4theswift4
edited April 2011 in November 2011
Ok I know hormones r crazy right now & I tend to overreact. Ok my hubby has been talking about this women he works with almost every since he went to 1st shift. About 5 mo. She is 46 (hubby 26 me 24) so yeah she is older then us but by no means what I consider old. So it had started bothering me well he let me keep his phone one day it's a Droid & I like to listen to audio books on it while I clean. Well I decided 2 get on a site called Dexter topics that my hubby likes to get on sometimes. Saw a thread that was talking about his company laying people off well @ the bottom it said the name of stuff he posts under well @ the end of the thread someone asks " who is that hott middle aged women with brn hair with the nice body that works in converters?" (My hubby is s welder) The name it said my hubby posted under said "2640 line Lisa walker" that got me so worked up cuz she doesn't work in converters &even I knew that. So I asked him about it he said he didn't post it that it is the last name of a guy he worked with well I looked @ the date it was posted & we were @ my parents during vacation he is the only 1 that had his phone. So I said something about it again & I had to corner him with it to get him to admit to posting it. Then I asked him y he lied 2 me he said cuz he knew I would get upset about it. Oh & I'm supposed to b thrilled that he lied to me. So I asked him y he even posted it he knew she didn't work there he said just being dumb. I dont know what to believe. I don't think he has cheated on me but I'm scared something is happening between them. Am I overreacting?
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Comments

  • dueinaugust11dueinaugust11
    No your not over reacting you caught your man in a lie and doing something a devoted man shouldn't do. I know if I was you I would act the same way probably worse and I would get to the bottom of it.
  • Jaime77Jaime77
    COworkers see us more sometimes than actual spouses. Emotional cheating is just as bad. but give your hubbie benefit of doubt. Maybe he just thinks she's pretty. Your his love ;)
  • theswift4theswift4
    He keeps saying the same things every time I ask him about it I don't know what else to do. I know he has talked to her after I said something to him about it. I asked him if he had talked to her today he said no but I asked if he had talked to her yesterday & he hesitated then said yeah. I told him I do not want him to talk to her anymore.
  • theswift4theswift4
    @dueinaugest11
  • theswift4theswift4
    @jamie77 he told me he didn't think she was pretty so I just dont understand y he said it.
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    Girl!!! I went through the exact same thg several mths ago. Yeah ur definitely not overreacting. Hes married, he should even be talking about other girls or getting "too friendly" w/her. He needs to keep it work related n thats it!
    With my husband, he was "buddies" with one of the gen. Manager. Everyday he would come home talking about this girl, and telling me how he goes n gets breakfast for her n himself and how she asks him for "advice". I blew up. I told him either u cut the cord or i will cut it for u.lol. .i told him that just cuz hes married doesnt meab there aint homewreckers out there. He said shes married though, then y isnt she talking about personal to her man then. Come to find out recently she knew she was "getting close" with my hubby and that is why yhe coworkers were jealous of her. I was like wtheck! And then my hubby said " i never said she was married."
  • theswift4theswift4
    @sUgArFooT_4 so does he still talk to her or what?
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    So u have a right to be upset about that coworker thing. and when ur hisband says oh shes not a looker that mean she is. I asked my hubby if she was pretty. He said no she was chubby. So i look on google, and this girl is not chubby. Its like why do guys lie, men should know that women can find every detail out . ~:>
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I would have gone crazy, but that's because I'm crazy. I think you need to get to the bottom of it otherwise it's no fun having that on your mind. My hubby works with a bunch of women and he's ALWAYS talking about them. Yeah, they're older but one day I got all dolled up and showed up unannounced. His reaction put my mind at ease, he was so happy to see me and introduced me to all the male worker and the women in the office. They got new women to work there since so I plan to make another surprise appearance to see what they look like but I feel too fat, so I'm waiting for a good day, haha. Good luck, hun!
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    Well after the whole incident he stopped talking about her but slipped occasionaly about her so i said is she really worth losing ur family for. Cuz i had it he was distant. Then i guess he told her he cant be taljing to her about ne thg not job related. Luckily shortly after she left her job because she was sueing the company for other purposes.
  • theswift4theswift4
    Yeah my hubby said she didn't have a nice body but was always talking about different guys hitting on her.
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    @mariacon, so hilarious! I would do the same but it would look funny hauling 3 kids behind me, lol. There always putting new girls at my husbands job too. Being that he does everythg there their always calling him. Its annoying. I told him the next time u buy her breakfast i will put her in her spot. I said either u fix this or i go n make a scene n fix it myself.
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    Yeah, if the other guys look why wouldnt he u know. I looked on yelp for reviews and of course guys who reviewd said the girls in the front are hot n the main reason y they go. Bad thing is my husband works at a gym!! So he sees girls all the time
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @sugarfoot_4 my hubby always tells me how nice they are to him and he calls them "girls" they're like almost 40 (some of them) I'm like "what the hell do you call them girls for?!" The other day he told me two of them were playing pulling ones skirt up. I flipped. I told him, I don't like that. It's unprofessional and I know for a fact he would flip if I worked with a bunch of guys. He said he thinks they're lesbian because they did that! I told him, I'm a girl, so I know, girls don't giggle and do that in front of guys because they're lesbian, they do it for attention. Hell, when I was younger and drunk i'd make out with girls in front of guys and it wasn't because I was a lesbian! Lol.
  • jalemjalem
    here is my opinion... if you look hard enough you will see what you dont want to see or you are unintentionally looking for... like for instance... he moved shifts and works with someone new so its a new person to talk about... then when you read the post all he did was answer the question... but because of the word hottie in the original post you assumed he was checking her out/something going on there... when he may infact just known who they were talking about... and it's not like he is never gonna look at another woman the main thing is that he is coming home to you every night... i hope this helps...
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    Ugh, lol. I hate when guys try to sugar coat things. its like hello!! We are girls too. We aint dumb. Women can read people like crazy. We're like cop dogs n sniff out thgs lol.
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    work is work and it should stay that way. Its not about whos a hottie whos not. If some girl name is coming out of my mans mouth every single day it gets pretty annoying. And if the girl is married she should be having personal conversations with her man n not mine. And if my guy is going out his way to fly n buy for her then ima say somethg. Cuz he doesnt do that for me. Now he does since then.
  • theswift4theswift4
    @jalem yeah but he lied about it that is the part I cannot understand. If he didn't feel like it was wrong y would he lie about it. & she wasn't even the person they were talking about & he normally posts under a different name that I know. So if it was so innocent y did he change the name he used.
  • jalemjalem
    well from what i see he didnt want you to get upset... (which you are doing) my bf and i have a pretty good relationship and he knows that if he's gonna check out a girl and i know this girl/will see the girl to let me know so i can give my input... if i werent so open and understanding then it would cause alot of problems because everyone looks at other people be it movie stars/ porn stars/ or the girl that works at starbucks... it happens and you cant get mad when it does or basically you are gonna ruin your relationship
  • theswift4theswift4
    Yeah I'm upset he lied about.
  • theswift4theswift4
    @jalem I do not ever look @ other guys we do not watch any sort of TV do not even own one. Porn no way if I ever catch him looking @ porn oh boy. It is not healthy it creates to many desires for other women & as u can c from the horrible pic I'm not pretty. My hubby was a virgin when we got married (I wasn't but not by choice so I kinda consider myself that I was). We r very different from alot of couples extremely old fashioned some would say boring but that is how we r.if u r married & u love them u just do not look at other people that is how we always thought. So this really throws me for a loop.
  • sUgArFooT_4sUgArFooT_4
    @theswift4,i agree with u about looking at porn or other women. Marriage we take serious, well im sure my husband does now after that incident. I dont check out guys like i did before getting married. I ask for the same respect.u let a guy get away with one thg, theyll try to get away with everythg else.
  • jalemjalem
    well first off you are very pretty... and even the best couples will look at someone from time to time... it is impossible to not do it.. your subconscious mind is always looking for the better mate... whether you want to or not it is what we are programmed to do to look for the best possible mate to increase your pull in the gene pool... it seems to me that he loves you because he didnt want to hurt your feelings.. and i can understand how it would upset you that he lied about it and you have a reason to be upset that he lied however from mu stand point hes just a guy... in a new environment with new people and there happens to be a woman there that makes you insecure... idk...
  • jalemjalem
    well im just trying to be positive about the situation... my bf and my relationship work because both he and i know that it doesnt matter who he looks at he is coming home to me and loves me... i dont see it as getting away with anything more of letting him be himself... i fell in love with him the way he was if i tried to change him he wouldnt be the man i fell inlove with...
  • Mama2JadieAndNickMama2JadieAndNick
    Ditto @jalem on everything. @theswift4 best of luck to you. :)
  • theswift4theswift4
    I'm not trying to change him we have been married for 4 & 1/2 yrs & this is the only time something like this has happened even when we were dating.
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    I dont think he would keep talking about her if something was going on between them, he wouldn't even want u to know she existed. My bf talks about an old lady (60ish) he works with all the time but its nothing.
  • Jaime77Jaime77
    @Theswift4
    your very pretty!! Do not down grade yourself. I hope you and your husband stay on track.
  • mammanoucheemammanouchee
    That makes me dad. I hate being in situattions like that. Makes me worry and think to much... hun im sorry, biys will always be kids. Sorry, not to be mean.
  • mammanoucheemammanouchee
    lol mad, not dad
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