I'm scared! ): ):

edited January 2011 in September 2011
hi, I'm 19 & on baby number 2. I have a 10 month old daughter..
I had gestational diabetes & pre-eclampsia with my last pregnancy. I found out about the g.d. at about 7 months, the the pre-eclampsia at about 8. they made me go into labor the day it was discovered. I had an amazing delivery, after 5 hours of contractions, I felt the urge to push.. my body was starting to push for me. I pushed my daughter out in 20 mins. I couldn't have asked for a better labor.
however, this time I'm terrified. my pregnancy wasn't too bad last time.. obviously I got pregnant again. but I can't shake this fear that the worst will happen this time. I keep having panic attacks.. I'm terrified of having high blood pressure(which obviously worrying isn't doing me any good) & I'm worried about my sugar levels. I know I can deal with the diabetes, but I'm scared of the pre-eclampsia. I'm scared of getting it early in my pregnancy & the worst will happen to the baby. you would think the second time around I wouldn't be scared, but I am. I have panic attacks frequently, or atleast I did during my first tri with my daughter, & after she was born..
I have been getting them recently, though. I have had them all my life. I just don't want to worry myself into something that I'm worried about. get what I mean? worrying so much that I get high blood pressure & end up getting what I most feared.
I'm such a worrier, & deep down I am scared & sometimes even pessimistic. however, on the outside I try & act strong. I think that if I continue to "act" strong, I can really be strong.
this pregnancy has sent me on an emotional rollercoaster. I cry, scream, & panic over everything.
I'm sorry this is soooo long, I just needed to vent. feel free to comment, or give advice. anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this through. I actually feel a little better after writing this.
(:
<3

Comments

  • Sweetie not every pregnancy is the same you may not have all the same problems your did with the first one.
  • @baby4ontheway , thanks, & I hope so. my appointment is tomorrow so I'm praying all goes well (:
  • I hope it will as well just try not to stress.
  • Ous@Peanutsmama19 I am now 24years old...I had my first baby wen I was 18 and my son was was actually born with a very rare genetic disorder...he past away wen he was only 4 days old....it was soooo freakinn devastating...now I am 8 wees prego for the first time since llosing my son....I am a carrier of the genetic disorder my son had and every baby I have has a 50/50 percent risk of having this also...it is fatal....I have to go for cvs testing at 11 weeks to c if this baby I'm currently carrying has the disorder.....I am sooooo scared this baby will also have it....I just pray everyday that this babies healthy and put it in gods hands....that's all I can do...I. also suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks...I am soo nervous about this baby I'm afraid I will trigger another panic attack and then give this poor baby more problems....I know what your going thru it feels like a vicious cycle of worry ...jus enjoy ur pregnancy while u can...take one day at a time and god will take care of the rest..I kno its easy to say hard to actually do...but try to b strong....good luck grl!
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