Maybe Goodbye, and some unsolicited advice (VERY long)
Okay, first off this is NOT a bash rant, this isn't even so much of a rant as a letter. Plus I want to share some opinions of being a new mom.
I have been thinking of leaving Pregly for awhile now and I kept saying to myself I'll just wait till the drama dies down a bit. Unfortunatly that never seems to happen. I'm not going to express my opinions on the drama because so many other people have brought up valid points on the subject it's just beating a dead horse.
My reason for thinking about leaving is this, I am no longer pregnant. I had my daughter seven weeks ago this Saturday. I have been hanging around because I do enjoy this forum. I enjoy helping others and sharing stories. However I havn't seen many topics latley that I feel the need to respond to. Plus I have been going on Pregly app with my phone during overnight feedings and it is killing my battery. [-X
First what I am saying here is just my personal experences/opinions, I am sure there are other's who will disagree and you are more then welcome to as long as you keep a civil tounge in your head and poisioned ink off your fingers. Also I am going to be touching on alot of subjects here alot of them people posted questions about but I never got around to responding and some of them are just my personal opinion on things.
Advice On
Diapers (disposiable):
Okay so I am just going to go on what I have "learned" with this baby. My other experance is seven years old and with how products change is a little dated. Okay, so to me Huggies brand runs small. It was great because my daughter was born three weeks early and was to small for the pampers that the hospital recomended but to big for the premi sizes. However now I like huggies but I perfer Pampers. Pampers do have a bit of a sent to them, I like that because I am now the mother of an unapoligetic flatulator that could put a grown man on free beer and cabbage day to shame. The perfume helps me distinguish between just gas and a possible diaper change. I also feel that pampers absorb a bit more then huggies do and because she also hates having even the slightest bit of damp on her bottom the pampers keep me from having to change her right after I changed her. Luvs do seem to absorb the best but again have a sent to them, they are more expensive then the other name brands so I have been using them overnight and if we are going out. Target brand I did not like. It worked but they are stiff and slightly scratchy on her little butt. Keep in mind I am only evaluating the smallest sizes.
Diaper Rash Creames:
For my first I swore by Desitin brand. It worked wonders! I loved it. However with my daughter the DFesitin wouldn't touch her minor rash. So I started using Boudreaux's Butt Paste. It works for her, I don't know if the formula changed, or it is because she is breastfeed and he wasn't or what. The Boudreaux's Butt Paste does have a scent to it, reminds me of honey.
Breastfeeding/Formula Feeding:
I personally think all women should try to breastfeed. It has great benifits for baby as we all know and great benifits for mom too! My doctor told me that breastfeeding can help us mom's loose weight, lower our colosteral, decrease the chances of breast and cervical cancers and a whole slew of fun and amazing things! However I also know that not all moms can breastfeed, having to go to back work, baby refuses to nurse, a feeling of "just weird or just wrongness" about it. To them I suggest trying to pump breastmilk, even if you have to supliment it with formula. But the fomulas that are out there are not going to make your child have any mental handycaps or cause any physical disabilities, they are formulated to give your child all that s/he needs, so don't feel guilty or that you are a "bad" mom for not breastfeeding.
Things that I have learned/Opinions on things
Every thing you know is wrong.
People, family members, - COMPLEATE STRANGERS even - will come up to you out of no where and advise you how you are spoiling/neglecting/depriving/just plan doing things wrong. They will give you their "professional" advice on everything from how you are cradling your newborn to what colledge they should go to. The advice will also come from "their sister the nurse" or similar persons. Ignore them, or thank them but advise them that your doctor told you how to do what you are doing. And just so you know the older they are the more demanding they will be about the change.
Some of them won't relent, I personally have gone from thanking them for thier advice, telling them that my doctor told me to do it this way, saying I would bring the thought up with my doctor, ignoring them compleatly, to telling them that the baby was for a human sacrafice later in the afternoon anyway so I don't think it matters much in the long run. You might not want to go that far however feel free to use it yourself if you feel the need to.
Get a swing
Even a cheap second hand store one. Don't spend hundreds of dollars right off the bat but have one ready to see if it might sooth your screaming newborn, you might not use it. Everyone seems to swear by them. So if you can find one (it's almost yardsale season) then why not. But if you do get one second hand make sure you clean it very well.
All smiles are real smiles.
If your new newborn looks at you and smiles and someone says "it's just gas" but you feel that it is because your baby knows and loves you and wants to show it then it is a real smile. Let the others think what they want you and your baby have a special bond from day zero. You know it and the little one knows it and that's all that matters! This is the only point on which I will say the doctors and professionals don't know what they are talking about.
Teen mom are amazing!
I don't agree with girls ttc at a young age, but that is for you to decide and there are plenty of people around that tell you what they think. However you became pregnant is your business not mine, but you are beautiful and strong. I was pregnant at nineteen and gave birth to my first just after I turned 20. I was treated so badly by so many people, I lost friends, family would treat me like dirt. Doctor's called me "the little girl" I was actually told by a doctor that I was just a baby myself. I was legal and I was married, my husband at the time was overseas fighting for this country and I was still treated this bad. I can only imagean what it must be like for girls younger then 19, hang in there. I raised my son alone, my husband and I separated shortly after he was born. I admit I was to young to have a baby, but he is now happy and healty and one of the top of his class, so I guess I didn't do to bad of a job. You will be a great mom, times will be hard but you are strong.
You will do things wrong, diapers will go on backwards, they will stay on to long. Baby will get a diaper rash, or get sick. There will be nights where you are crying just as much as s/he is. There will be days where you can just not take one more game of peek-a-boo. Times when you just want to scream with anger or frusration. Times when baby seems to be doing everything just to upset you. This IS NOT because you are a teenager this is because you are a mom!
I have been thinking of leaving Pregly for awhile now and I kept saying to myself I'll just wait till the drama dies down a bit. Unfortunatly that never seems to happen. I'm not going to express my opinions on the drama because so many other people have brought up valid points on the subject it's just beating a dead horse.
My reason for thinking about leaving is this, I am no longer pregnant. I had my daughter seven weeks ago this Saturday. I have been hanging around because I do enjoy this forum. I enjoy helping others and sharing stories. However I havn't seen many topics latley that I feel the need to respond to. Plus I have been going on Pregly app with my phone during overnight feedings and it is killing my battery. [-X
First what I am saying here is just my personal experences/opinions, I am sure there are other's who will disagree and you are more then welcome to as long as you keep a civil tounge in your head and poisioned ink off your fingers. Also I am going to be touching on alot of subjects here alot of them people posted questions about but I never got around to responding and some of them are just my personal opinion on things.
Advice On
Diapers (disposiable):
Okay so I am just going to go on what I have "learned" with this baby. My other experance is seven years old and with how products change is a little dated. Okay, so to me Huggies brand runs small. It was great because my daughter was born three weeks early and was to small for the pampers that the hospital recomended but to big for the premi sizes. However now I like huggies but I perfer Pampers. Pampers do have a bit of a sent to them, I like that because I am now the mother of an unapoligetic flatulator that could put a grown man on free beer and cabbage day to shame. The perfume helps me distinguish between just gas and a possible diaper change. I also feel that pampers absorb a bit more then huggies do and because she also hates having even the slightest bit of damp on her bottom the pampers keep me from having to change her right after I changed her. Luvs do seem to absorb the best but again have a sent to them, they are more expensive then the other name brands so I have been using them overnight and if we are going out. Target brand I did not like. It worked but they are stiff and slightly scratchy on her little butt. Keep in mind I am only evaluating the smallest sizes.
Diaper Rash Creames:
For my first I swore by Desitin brand. It worked wonders! I loved it. However with my daughter the DFesitin wouldn't touch her minor rash. So I started using Boudreaux's Butt Paste. It works for her, I don't know if the formula changed, or it is because she is breastfeed and he wasn't or what. The Boudreaux's Butt Paste does have a scent to it, reminds me of honey.
Breastfeeding/Formula Feeding:
I personally think all women should try to breastfeed. It has great benifits for baby as we all know and great benifits for mom too! My doctor told me that breastfeeding can help us mom's loose weight, lower our colosteral, decrease the chances of breast and cervical cancers and a whole slew of fun and amazing things! However I also know that not all moms can breastfeed, having to go to back work, baby refuses to nurse, a feeling of "just weird or just wrongness" about it. To them I suggest trying to pump breastmilk, even if you have to supliment it with formula. But the fomulas that are out there are not going to make your child have any mental handycaps or cause any physical disabilities, they are formulated to give your child all that s/he needs, so don't feel guilty or that you are a "bad" mom for not breastfeeding.
Things that I have learned/Opinions on things
Every thing you know is wrong.
People, family members, - COMPLEATE STRANGERS even - will come up to you out of no where and advise you how you are spoiling/neglecting/depriving/just plan doing things wrong. They will give you their "professional" advice on everything from how you are cradling your newborn to what colledge they should go to. The advice will also come from "their sister the nurse" or similar persons. Ignore them, or thank them but advise them that your doctor told you how to do what you are doing. And just so you know the older they are the more demanding they will be about the change.
Some of them won't relent, I personally have gone from thanking them for thier advice, telling them that my doctor told me to do it this way, saying I would bring the thought up with my doctor, ignoring them compleatly, to telling them that the baby was for a human sacrafice later in the afternoon anyway so I don't think it matters much in the long run. You might not want to go that far however feel free to use it yourself if you feel the need to.
Get a swing
Even a cheap second hand store one. Don't spend hundreds of dollars right off the bat but have one ready to see if it might sooth your screaming newborn, you might not use it. Everyone seems to swear by them. So if you can find one (it's almost yardsale season) then why not. But if you do get one second hand make sure you clean it very well.
All smiles are real smiles.
If your new newborn looks at you and smiles and someone says "it's just gas" but you feel that it is because your baby knows and loves you and wants to show it then it is a real smile. Let the others think what they want you and your baby have a special bond from day zero. You know it and the little one knows it and that's all that matters! This is the only point on which I will say the doctors and professionals don't know what they are talking about.
Teen mom are amazing!
I don't agree with girls ttc at a young age, but that is for you to decide and there are plenty of people around that tell you what they think. However you became pregnant is your business not mine, but you are beautiful and strong. I was pregnant at nineteen and gave birth to my first just after I turned 20. I was treated so badly by so many people, I lost friends, family would treat me like dirt. Doctor's called me "the little girl" I was actually told by a doctor that I was just a baby myself. I was legal and I was married, my husband at the time was overseas fighting for this country and I was still treated this bad. I can only imagean what it must be like for girls younger then 19, hang in there. I raised my son alone, my husband and I separated shortly after he was born. I admit I was to young to have a baby, but he is now happy and healty and one of the top of his class, so I guess I didn't do to bad of a job. You will be a great mom, times will be hard but you are strong.
You will do things wrong, diapers will go on backwards, they will stay on to long. Baby will get a diaper rash, or get sick. There will be nights where you are crying just as much as s/he is. There will be days where you can just not take one more game of peek-a-boo. Times when you just want to scream with anger or frusration. Times when baby seems to be doing everything just to upset you. This IS NOT because you are a teenager this is because you are a mom!
Comments
I'm glad I was able to help!