@mama0811 funny that you say that he just told me I don't live in a grownup world, that he has to work or we will have nothing. no shit! Lol I raised a baby alone for 3 years starting @ 16 I know nothing about growing up. I'm in the guest room and I can hear him snoring over myself crying and I just want to pick up the heaviest object in my house and bust it over his head. I can't stand the fact he knows how upset I am and hes sleeping?!?!
@mama0811 he just bought "me" a new huge house and when my grandma came to see it she said the house and cars mean nothing if I'm not happy and I didn't really get it. But now I do. She has told me to leave and come to live with her for a while but he has always said if I leave he would take his daughter and that I couldn't afford to stop him and if I could keep her I would disappear. I know it would take me a long time to get where he is alone.
@mama0811 I know that's what I thought but he actually has me convienced I don't stand a chance. If I left I would not be financially stable. I would not have a steady place to live and I would be an unemployed mother of 2 he has a Damn good job, and a big nice house and had been stable for 10 years.
I know I just don't Want to make the wrong decision and regret it, maybe I will try counseling and if he doesn't try or get effected by it take the next step at least my kids would know I tried. thank you so much for talking me through this you really don't know how much you have calmed me down I can actually breath now!
I know I'm coming into this a little late but about the divorce thing...my old roommate got pregnant after marrying her bf and he ended up beinga complete dead beat...he had money (left by a relative who passed) and they had a nice house and when she finally realized that he completely blew it all (a couple hundred thousand dollars) on nothing and that he was a complete ass hole and was cheating on her. she told him she wanted a divorce and he told her if she tried he would take the baby and she said he couldn't and he wouldn't get her...well when they went to court he claimed she was an unfit mother and told a whole bunch of lies...well he didn't get the baby but neither did she and she hasn't seen her baby since... I do believe you should get out if you can but do not go into it all emotional or you will (most likely) lose the baby in court especially if he is very well off and is steady in his job and you are unemployed. I also think you should get, at the very least, a part time job I think it would help you as well as let him know that you are willing and able to help out with everything. As of right now I am living alone just starting 7 months preggers, working a full time job, trying to plan my wedding for the 4th of june practically by my self (my due date is the 28th of june) and paying all my own bills on my own...its really not that bad...even if you are very emotional try not to be in front of him because obviously its doing the exact opposite of what you want. Try turning your attitude around and do the opposite of what you have been doing. You can't make him change but if you look at life from his point of view, from what I understand, to him you just sit around the house all day crying...(I know you probably have a million things you do but he doesn't see that) all he sees is you crying and begging for attention and every girl should know men HATE clingy girls that cry all the time...I guess I'm just saying that you need to look at things from his point of view before you do anything else...and if you can set up a session with a marriage counselor and go with him. But I would go by yourself first. I hope this helped. ~Ruthie~
I highly doubt that a place will hire a pregnant woman that's already showing. Its a bit different if you weren't so far along. I mean you can try. And ill tell you this it doesn't matter weather you have a job right now or not. As long az you have family to help you out until your able to get a job that helps out big time! I've been there done this! The judge understands that. I would try counseling but I would also try to maybe go stay at a family members house for a day or two to see if that makes a difference. Maybe he will see what he's missing. Im sorry about my story and it not helping. My story sucks and it is a horrible one but I guess if that doesn't even fase him let alone seeing his wife like this I don't think he's going to change. I allways told my ex it takes a man to MAKE A MAN! Lol that would always pi$$ him off but I didn't care. Like the lady said above and she is right don't let him see you cry! That is what he's wanting. But im going to tell you just bc you don't have a job doesn't mean you don't have a fair chance!!!!! You do I know. Stay with family if they offer!!! Obviously your family is seeing exactly what you see and feel. Be thankful you have family to be there for you and offer help. Maybe you should take them up on the offer. If nothing else get counseling for your self so you have documentation!!!!!! That does help in court! Hunny im sorry but I really think you need to do something and do it soon before the baby is born! Its easier to do things without a little one yet! I have been through so much more then anyone could ever imagine. I've lived a rough life but im still alive and pushing forward in life!!! I wish you the best of luck!. If you need more help im here to talk to. Im going to be going to school to become A counselor and motovational speaker. If you want my email address is thebradybunchof6@gmail.com. stay strong lady keep your head up!!! Good luck!
@rebekahs _mommy thank you for the insight and warning if you will. It is not that I fear being alone or don't think I can support my children, I have worked since I was 15 and had a baby @ 16 that I raised alone without any assistance from family or governme nt. I was very successful before we got together I gave up my career to be his house wife. I actually went back to work during holiday season and he begged me to stay home again so I quit after holiday season was over. He is very old fashioned and believes the woman's place is at home having babies and the man's is to work for his family. I don't want to leave him he is not a deadbeat by any means (I know you never referred to him as one just throwing it out there.) He just really has his priorities mixed up and puts work above all else, I understand work is important but is money and success worth anything when you don't have anyone to share it with? Good luck to you on your wedding planning, its a pain.lol
@momofSOONtobe7 I slept in the guest room last night and he came in before work and apologized, he said he wanted to fix it but doesn't know how. He asked if I was feeling better and I just said no. I am still upset and im not just going to get over it and move on. Im thinking if I set up and apointment with a marriage counsler maybe they can help us fix it... I dont want to leave him I just want him to get his priorties straight and be normal he is a district manager of 13 stores and I know it has to be hard for him or anyone to manage 13 stores because you cannot be 13 places at once, but this morning he said he is going to work harder at work so that he doesnt have to bring his work home with him. We went through this before with his last job that he left for this one and it did eventually get better but it was almost a year later before that happened and I refuse to go through this pregnancy alone when there is no reason my husband is not going to be with me (unless I am single). If he says he wants to fix it and is willing to try counsling do you think he is ready and willing to change?? Him even admitting there is a problem is a good thing right? I dont want to be that nieve girl that just fell for it again and thats what im afraid of I want him to really change not just say hes working on it.
I hope your not taking what im saying wrong..... if by all means he wants to fix it fix it. But you need to gov him an eye opener. Maybe with you sleeping in the guest room it did. But it could also just be a show as well. That's how my ex was. He would change for a week and back to the same stuff again. 13 stores is a lot yes I manager two and that's hard enough but I go to more then two. But there is and needs to be time for YOU and your family!!!! You two are in this together with the kids. There needs to be compromising going on with him!!!!! You just need to sit him down and tell him your thoughts. Try to stay strong and not cry. Bc that what it seems he wants. That's not what you and the baby need! You need love compassion and someone that cares not only about you but your children! The question that I fore see him asking is if I don't have time for you how am I going to have time for counseling. Or he will make an excuse. I hope for your sake he changes and means it. But like I said id maybe stay with family a night or two. Obviously sleeping in the guest room was an eye opener to him like I said. I know I left for a week and he was begging me to cone back. Needless to say he never changed anit just got worse. I hope that's not the case for you. I really hope things work out for you!!! Good luck hun!
I thought id add I had my daughter when I turned 16 as well. I was the same way. I have four and im 25. I had my second when I was 17 almost 18. I have worked since I was 15 but was in a bad car accident with my ex and broke my neck in 3 places an had compound fracture to my right arm. I was pronounced dead for 20 mins. I wasn't suppose to live. So I know how that is also being alone with no help.
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