My baby daddy... (vent)

nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
edited April 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Is driving me insane!! I couldn't take it anymore. So last night I told him I was done with him because he is stressing and frustrating. He hasn't been around as much as before I found out I was prego. I told him from the beginning he didn't need to be around and I would do it on my own. He went to the first appointment and not gonna go to the one I have on Monday and I have a feeling he won't be going to any other ones. I have been with him for almost a year in May and its just constant fighting. So I told him fighting, arguing, stressing and frustration is bad for the baby and I don't need it anymore. Before it was him saying its my hormones that are making me take everything out on him. I know its not my hormones but could it be?? I don't know what else to do anymore. Let him go or not? I really do love him but its just too much for me. Any advice??
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Comments

  • mommy_of_adrianamommy_of_adriana
    Maybe hell realize that your serious now and take a step back and look at himself
  • KalikoJenieKalikoJenie
    I dunno if it is just your hormones but I have been feeling the same way. My bd posted something on facebook while I was in the hospital that made me very mad... babies are like poems beautiful to the creator but silly and fucking annoying to everyone else.... I was like woah... (doesn't help im a poet either) this is the man I am having a baby by? I told him from the beginning that he didn't have to be with me because I know he dodnt want kids but I am in no way emotionally capable of handeling an abortion. Take it or leave it. He said that he wouldn't leave me, but posts things like that on fb then today he said he was going to smoke and I jokingly called him/an asshole and he told me for someone in as much pain as you (painful kidney issues) that you should be calling me an asshole. I was like can you go on day without being an asshole? And he said it would take everything in his power to not be an asshole just to me... so I was like wow... if you can't stop yourself from that then why are we even together... I can get him/ to stop smoking weed and save money.. I basically am about to up and leave his ass if he don't stop his actions and I hate to do that because I know the kid will suffer not knowung his dad. I nlove him but wonder if I am in lovfe with him/anymore.... but, aybe as you said...maybe it is hormones...
  • jessm22jessm22
    It's up to you if you can get out I would get out my man is never home anymore and when he is we always fight I wish I could get out but id be on the street if I tryed cause I can't live with family and I don't have a job he won't shape up its been like this for,2 years
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    i know at the beginning my feelings was going crazy and he got on my nerves but than I realized that it was just the pregnancy because I would never be like that normally. just try calming down and not think so much
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @mommy_of_adriana: I'm hoping it does too :(
    @kalikojenie: I would totally be upset about that fb post too! See and we are currently not together but when he is around he hold my hand, kisses me and makes it seem as if we are together and then when ask him if he loves me and his answer is "i used too but your always talking shit to me" which was about his schooling and then when we found out I was prego he didn't want me to keep the baby. But now he will randomly text me at night and say "tell the baby I say goodnight :)" but I just wonder why he doesn't want too be with me, or not want me to have this baby and yet is telling me he is naming the baby and thing like that. And I say the same thing "thats gonna be my baby daddy?"
    @jessm22: I'm glad to say that I am getting out and glad that I do not live with him and I'm sorry about your situation :(
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  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Ittybitty: I don't think it is though because its been like that since before I got prego just now it irritates me more than ever because his attitude is basically "i don't care" so of course I'm going to say something.
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    ohh I understand.. have u sit down with him and told him he is pushing u away with his attitude?
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @MarinesAngel: He doesn't want to be around me anymore. Not until the baby gets here so he says.
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Ittybitty: Yes I have but he doesn't care anymore..
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    oh I just seen ur other comment, tell him u really need to know how he feels, if he wants to b with u than he can but if he just wants to b there for thr baby than no talking unless it has to do with the baby because he is confusing u with his actions. that what I just had to do with the daddy :/
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Ittybitty: I always do but he doesn't like to talk about it, he gets mad when I tell him we need to talk and blows me off. That is why I'm so sad to say that I think its best for me and my baby to part from him :'(
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    yea... mine keeps playing mind games with me, he calls and checks on me and goes to the apt with me but we was still messing around and he'll act like he wants to b with me to the point where I want to b back with him and than he does a complete 180 so I jus have to put a stop to it too. im sorry ur having to go threw this. he does r dont want to b there for the baby?
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Ittybitty: He says he will and his mom said for me not to worry that he will be around. But I have a feeling he won't be.
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    well if he does want to b there I dont think u should stop him, let him go to the apt still but jus dont play into his games when he tries to b nice and act like he wants u one min and dont the next.. I love it that mine still wants to go to the apt's with me and im glad he didnt just up and leave when I found out I was pregnant, but I admit it is hard having to see him and talk to him.. we just have to put walls up with these men..
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  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    I mean I'm not stopping or telling him he can't go to the appointments but he always says he has school or on the weekends he can't come over because he plays basketball and basically can't miss a game.. I'm just not going to fall for his games anymore...
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Simplyraven22406: Thats exactly what I'm trying to do..
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  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Simplyraven22406: Exactly! My baby daddy is the same way. I always tell him I think he is bipolar because of how he acts. They honestly have no idea.
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  • DublindaddyDublindaddy
    My mrs. thinks I'm an asshole all the time although I'm not doing one thing different from before except for more chores around the house lol. Says I don't cuddle as much as I used to even though when I do she's uncomfortable and shoos me away.she basically doesn't have to do anything except let her dog out now and then but now that is spring time I have too put in more hours at work (farmer) and she thinks because of that I don't really care about the baby...yesterday she was sent to the er because she had a seizure in subway and I dropped everything and left work calling the boss on the way but she still thinks I'm an asshole lol... I think my case is just hormones :D
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @Simplyraven22406: Thats exactly how I feel..
    @Dublindaddy: Aww. See my won't even cuddle unless I ask or force him to cuddle with me. :( How far is she? I'm only 13 weeks but I know mine isn't all hormones. Hers I have a feeling are.. Thanks though. Nice to hear feedback from a daddy. :)
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    I'm 15 weeks lol (he really is an ass hole... He just has a charming way of leaving out details xD.... @Dublindaddy thanks butt head :P)
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    As for me tho.... My hormones are def a big part of it tho.
  • denoisdenois
    My boyfriend has just come in drunk as he can possibly be! Its 1.40am here he started spittin at me and sayin he hates me an to get out his house! Then said he was going to beat me and my dad up! He then went on about how unlucky i m that my baby has him as a dad and there is nuthin i can do about it!! He has really p***** me off but for some reason im not upset! maybe its finally time i have come to my senses and had enough of him?!?!
  • nessa_babyyynessa_babyyy
    @sunshinelove: lol. Thats too funny. See and I know its not my hormones though..
    @denois: I think we both realized its time to say goodbye to the baby daddy's!!
  • teenmommy23teenmommy23
    its almost 1 and im waiting for my baby daddy to come home at 930 he said he was just going to get something to eaT with his cousins and one of my friends just text me saying i sre your bf / bd at this party im out. um finally giving up .
  • denoisdenois
    Men r arseholes! My bf got home and was abusive to me! I slept for like three hrs all night! Now he tells me he lost hos wallet an phone last night!! Ahhhhhh so angry its untrue
  • rhondalynnrhondalynn
    Seems like when u finally do throw ur hands up and don't give a rats @ss, THATS when they wanna start being up ur's all the time. I'm def not an expert but have been thru a crappy relationship that turned into what it should have been. Pregnant w #4 and i couldn't ask for a better father & partner. Anyway, my advice is to take this time to enjoy ur pregnancy & bonding w ur baby. Find ur own things to do that interest YOU. U'll make urself miserable trying to force him to care about the baby like u do. After he see's how content & happy u are w/o him, he will probably want to join u. Be glad if he comes along, but doesn't bother u if he don't. Now, if it seems he is taking that time to get away w things u really don't like... Prolly is best to let him go. He may be a good dad in the end but there is no reason why u shouldn't be happy too. And maybe happy is w someone else. But I encourage couples to try to stick it out... in my case, when I finally had enough, I let everything bad he had done go. I acted like I loved him soo much. *fake it til it comes true* LOL! He thought I was crazy & was sleeping w one eye open! :) but eventually started falling in love again. U do have to let the past go if u really wanna work it out. Now this is just my own experience. Good luck to u!
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