Share Your Funniest, semi-dirty (not obscene) Joke...here's mine!
One day a boy killed a butterfly and his dad said, "u can't have butter for a week."
A couple of days later the boy killed a honeybee, the dad said, "no honey for a week."
Then they saw the mom step on a cockroach. The boy looked at his dad and said "are you gonna tell her or should I? :-D
A couple of days later the boy killed a honeybee, the dad said, "no honey for a week."
Then they saw the mom step on a cockroach. The boy looked at his dad and said "are you gonna tell her or should I? :-D
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after dinner, a little boy's father was going take a shower, and the boy wanted to go. dad agreed, but said don't look down. nonetheless, the boy does, and asks "dad, what's that?" the father said the first thing that came to mind, "a snake". the following day the boy wanted to take a shower with his mother. she agreed, but told him not to look up or down. first he looks up and asks, "mom, what are those?" she thought quickly, and replied, "headlights." not long after the boy looks down, and asks, "what's that?" his mom replied "grass". later that night, a bad thunderstorm was coming through, and the little boy asks his parents if he could sleep with them. they agreed, but told him not to look under the covers. all of a sudden there was a flash of lightening and a loud roar, which scared the boy, so he pulled the covers up over his head, then yelled "mom! hurry, turn on the headlights! the snakes in the grass!"
There is a burnette, a blonde, and a red head sitting in the doctors waiting to see What their having...
The burnette says "I already know what im having...cause when we conceived I was on top so were having a girl!"
The red head said "oh well then I know what I'm having...I'm having a boy cause he was on top, missionary, when we conceived."
They look over to the blonde...she was sobbing and she looked up and said...
"OMG!! We did it doggy style so I'm having a puppy!!!!!!"
Haaaha.
Teacher said today question which part of ur body goes to heavin?
First kid: I know ur hands
teacher: y
First kid: because u pray with them
Teacher: gud answer
Second kid: I know, I know ur heart
teacher: y
Second kid: because God wants u to love everyone
Teacher: very gud answer
Johnny raises his hand
Teacher: oh lord, johnny wat is it
Johnny: what I was juat gon say ur feet
Teacher: now why would u say that
Johnny: I don't know I went into my parents room, I saw my moms under the covers legs in the air n she said oh god I'm coming I'm coming
Boobees
That's just like that other joke on there...
*Peter talking to a female co-worker* "Why do women have boobs?"
Co-worker: "Why?"
Peter: *with eyes lowered towards her bust* "So you have something to look at while talking to them?"
:-D :-/
Wife replies, 'Yeah, too bad you only have a 3 inch fuse.'
A little boy was playing with his train set in the living room. His mom is in the kitchen making lunch. She hears him say 'Woo-woo!! All you mothereffers wanna get on the train--get on the train...all you mothereffers wanna get off the train--get off the train.'
Mom thinks to herself she must be hearing things, her little boy wouldn't say such things & goes back to making lunch.
She hears it again. She goes into the living room, spanks him & tells him she never wants to hear him speak that way again.
A few hours later, she is back in the kitchen making dinner. Once again she hears 'Woo-woo!! All you people who wanna get on the train--get on the train. All you people wanna get off the train--get off the train; if you have any complaints; go talk to the b**ch in the kitchen!!'
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
L0L both 2nd & 3rd were hilarious to meeee!
love em..