Fuc*ed up my life

NeekNeek
edited April 2011 in September 2011
:( I dont even no where 2o start I'm jus tired of my bf weve been tg for 5 years almost n were yung.... N at two diffrent universities.'.... He duz eri thng for me like wen I jump he say how high.... But thts not wat mked me happy.... He is so ovr protective....like really dnt want me duib shit..... But wen we are not tugethor he jus looses hisself becomes a follower n wants tu drink smoje (turn off) n party....jus seems so fake tu me n I dnt want tu continue our rship.... I feel like he shud du better being as though hese a dad.... O n he wantef this baby baddddd.... I feel trapped... I dedicated all of my teenage years to him now om having a baby.... I jus feel lije I failed my mother... She is so excited about het grandbaby but I no... She thnks tht I messed up sumtimes..... I jus want my self bac.... Im tired of bring tied dwn...now he wants me tu tranfer tu psu so we cn b a gam but I yhnk its all a fake n my efucation is at stake.... Stry for typos but jus venting

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I felt the same way but wen it finally sank n tht I was going to hav a baby I kinda got outa tht mindset n I'll b 21wks tomorrow n I still go to school although I b tired I manage it'll all b ok trust me I'm 21 n I swore my life was over but I'm ok n u will b too good luck
  • NeekNeek
    Thank u.... Hulllll its so hard thooooo.... N he doesnt mke it any easirr going out all the time.. Mybe im jus hormonal if thts s wrd
  • momx3n2011momx3n2011
    I'm 32 weeks with my 3rd, I had jus started goin back to school online when we found out...I felt like I messed up at first bc I didn't wanna screw up school AGAIN! (I'm 31 n this 3rd time in college) but my husband n me been separated twice n were gonna make it work this time, we've both grown up over the years n its true wat they say, a baby changes everything, but despite it feeling like a negative thing right now...that feeling will change the moment you hold your baby in your arms and you'll know he or she was meant to be...the truth is your child will change you for the better n open your heart to grow in ways you never could have imagined...I also kno how you feel about disappointing your mom, but she's your mom, when you have your baby you'll kind of understand how your mom feels about you n if she ever seems disappointed its prolly because she wishes she could make things better for you bc she wants you to be happy...this may sound cheesy, but you and your bf should commit your lives to God, I've learned the hard way trying to create my own happiness n be in control, its not worth it, let God be in control and will make a way...doesn't mean it'll be easy or you'll always be happy, but I've learned peace in your soul is better than tryin to feel happy all the time, tht jus ain't reality...but trust God n everything will be ok! (especially when you see your precious baby, your bf will change for better too)
  • LBusby7LBusby7
    You haven't f'ed your life yet. It's how you grow when you have the baby that determines that. You can still do everything you want to do, you just have baby to think about when you make decisions. I am preggo with my 3rd and am about to finish my AA. I doubt myself sometimes but I just want my kids to be proud of me and know they most important.
  • simonesimone
    Wow that sucks! Hang in there girl
  • divamommydivamommy
    I feel the same way at times but like I made a stupid mistake and now its f**k'd up my life forever. I always wanted a baby but not before being ready. I really think about if adoption would be best sometimes. Maybe this is just a feeling and will pass. Good-luck to you.
  • chazzachazza
    My partner is the same but I think he is drinking and going out more but when am on a good day I sit bk at look at the picture more clearly us girls are noticing it that way because we cant do it just the same a cant go out partying with the girls or sit in with the hubby and drink. A think its the guys way of getting the
  • chazzachazza
    Stress release before baby arrives. When that happens leave him home alone with baby on a friday and saturday nite say your popping out for milk and head to pub with the girls dont tell him lol. Let him know how you felt for 9month thats what am doing shhh lol
  • Missjones45Missjones45
    Jus hang in there sweetie I will keep u in my prayer.
  • momof22bemomof22be
    Hang in there girl. (%)
  • ahendricks09ahendricks09
    oh trust i can understand about you feeling like you messed up your life.. im 19 and im in college..i feel liked i messed up with school and my life plans i made for self i also knw i disappointed my parents because my mother got preg with my old brother when she was 18 and my parents wanted me to do better then them and i let them down.. but you'll be able to pull through everything happens for a reason and just try not to stress to much TRUST ME I KNW ITS HARD.. but we can make it... =) and with your boyfriend you REALLY need to talk to him and figure out what you guys are going to do before the baby gets here.
  • monetlovinmiller11monetlovinmiller11
    It get real hard at times coping with the fact the your having a baby while still and school and trying to get your life on track being successful trust me I know I'm 17 & 20 weeks pregnant my child father is a complete ass hole and like everything his way or no way so we're not together and hardly even talk but at first the bby meant the world to him and he bag me to keep her but as time went on the love for started to fade oh and I forgot to mention he already has three kids by the one girl yeah they don't talk anymore but that's a lot of baggage I set all his flaws aside to make us work until now he cheated and lied he hurt a lot I miss him like crazy and really don't want to give up on us but I have to think about myself and maken a better life for my child and I don't want her to see us always at it and not getting alone so it's better for me to leave him alone just let it be so its really up to u just think hard and long on what u really want and you be OK leave it in God hand he'll do all the work good luck
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