Getting a divorce...

EmmiekenEmmieken
edited April 2011 in First Trimester
My husband told me today that he wants a divorce because we don't see write to eye, and I don't get all dressed up anymore since I'm always sick. I'm pissed. But very heartbroken. And I'm 8 weeks pregnant with his baby. Dude.. I feel so fucking low. Sorry, just venting.
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Comments

  • plzletsh11changeplzletsh11change
    I am sorry to hear that hun. Keep your head up, everything happens for a reason~good and bad.
  • Karla_with_a_KKarla_with_a_K
    What a jerk. I guarentee there is more to it than that. Those are just excuses.
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    It's just really hard to wrap my mind around all of this. And then because he's in the airforce, we're no where near family.. So I've got no support stem right now. I can't stop thinking about it. I won't be going back home for another week.
  • adriens_mommyadriens_mommy
    edited April 2011
    aww babe i know the hurt u r feeling. check this out- my man of 5 yrs left me THE DAY i told him I'm pregnant. its a pain that is almost unbearable. and i didn't really start to heal until i was actually able to feel my baby and see the changes like my stomach growing. up until then i really felt abandoned. if hes really serious and goes thru (i really hope not!) then be cautious of the feelings overwhelming u. my pregnancy would have been a much better experience physically and emotionally if i hadn't let my ex tear me down so bad. my prayers r with u and baby and i just pray more than anything that u don't have to go thru this pain. have a joyful pregnancy. I'm here if u need to talk
  • mommy_relmommy_rel
    Girl I am in sorta the same boat but will b 18wks mon..n I jus got home. I could use a friend n if u wanna talk its cool w me my number is 9373215224
  • marimari
    I'm goin thru hard times too I'm here u can write me
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    It is so shitty. We use to be really close, and now everything is my fault because I'm lazy, and not working. Then he's got nosey ass people asking him questions about what's going on between us. Gets me fucking heated. I ready just wanna go back home. I don't wasn't to be here to see him hate me. I really just want to rip his fucking face off! Or take my own life, as dumb as that sounds. This shit is fucked up! Sorry for all the curse words. I'm heart broken and pissed. He came back home from drinking with his friends, drunk as fuck, and threatened to choke me out to where hedoesn't have to deal with me and my problems anymore. I sound so dumb.. I shouldve called the cops. I'm just week hearted. I don't want to be the reason why he goes to jail. FUCK!
  • adriens_mommyadriens_mommy
    edited April 2011
    Omg he actually said that? Do u think he would stand by his word and choke u out? Espicially if he's drunk? I think the best thing to do is go ahead and go back home to your family. Leave him before he leaves u. Make him think about what he's done. And if he realizes what a douchbag he is before its too late that's what's up. If not, at least u left with dignity and air in your lungs. Take care of u and your precious cargo. If u feel like u should've called the Cops or protected yourself, its not to late listen to ur instincts.
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    Okay, so here is the follow up of what happened. Two weeks later after all of this, we ended up fighting again, and he did actually choke me, so I choked him back. We argued all night, then decided it would be best if the girls and I left for Texas to get a break from each other, but we were still together, and still trying to make it work. Well, the next day, we got into another huge fight, and I finally called the cops.. Blehh. They did a 72 hour no contact order, and the girls and I left for Texas finally. Still, my husband wanted to work things out with me, and not lose us. Well, a week into us being in Texas, he decided he didn't want this life anymore, and wouldn't even answer my texts. Come to find out a week later, he cheated on me with some white up here, and wants me back home asap so it doesn't happen again. Now we are back together, TRYING to work things out forreal, but I still feel betrayed, and crushed. I want to kill the girl he slept with in my own bed. That bitch also stole some of my clothes! Anyways.. Pregnancy is still thriving, and I'm an emotional wreck, who's ALWAYS looking over my shoulders.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Ok, please don't take this the wrong way but im seeing red flags ALL OVER THE PLACE!

    1. HE'S VIOLENT. Don't let your babies grow up thinking this is normal. The girls will attract douchbags that treat them this way and your baby boy will think its ok to cheat and lay his hands on females. NOT ACCEPTABLE.

    2. HE CHEATS! like another poster said, there is more to the story. His excuses of you being lazy and not dressing up almost guarantees he has ALREADY cheated ...

    I hate to say this, but 9 times out of 10, situations like this are doomed and inevitably end the same way... better to cut your losses now before he can cause any more damage to you and those babies!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    P.S. I say these things because I've LIVED THIS LIFE. I feel like such an idiot for putting up with it for as long as I did. Im soooo much happier now without him. Im in TX... come back home to us! Lol
  • ChevygirlChevygirl
    Wow girl. Sorry to hear all that! Keep your head up.
  • romeike89romeike89
    Omg... I know that feeling of being betrayed and I'm so sorry Ur going through it. If u need to talk, I'm here
  • AllyAndEmeryAllyAndEmery
    I 100% agree with @babynumbersix id the second all that started to happen id tell his ass to bit the bricks and eff off. And the chokeing thing... girly he dose stuff like that once he's not gona think twice about doing it again.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Next time you might not wake up... then what are your babies gonna do?
  • survivormommie3survivormommie3
    i would say drop him. he may be the daddy to your baby but that man needs a swift kick in his rear and you need to wake up and see the messed up situation you are in. you can get out, but now you have placed you and your kids in. you know you're better off without him. who cares if you are lazy or don't get all dressed up. life happens. he's acting like a baby in big boy pants, and you are allowing him to run all over you. i hope that you and the kids are ok. but i find it foolish to willingly put him back in your life when you can get away from a psycho like him. choking, from him or you is never acceptable.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited June 2011
    I'm so sorry dear, I hope things come around.
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    Thanks every one for the good advice, and the support. We attend conseling now, and he got a uif for this whole situation. I know how dumb I look, because I went through this shit with my girls father, except it was way worse, and lasted extremely long. As of right now, I'm giving this marriage one more real shot, with professional help. I am not ready to walk away from this yet, and this is my piece of mind to keep me sane at least while I'm pregnant. If shit doesn't change after the conseling and the pregnancy, then I will move forward with the actions I see fit. Again, thank you ladies for the support. And I know y'all are telling me to leave because you guys are concerned. THANK YOU!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Im not sure if you are religious...but along with counseling I would suggest finding you guys a good church.

    It helps my husband and I alot. When we have troubles we get very good godly advice from couples who have been there and great prayer.

    Good luck, dear!!!!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Mommyof4girlsMommyof4girls
    This is so harsh but you are being sooo naive!! That man may want to change but he has to do it ON HIS OWN. He needs to seek his own counseling and get better BEFORE you two move forward as a couple if he needs you as a crutch he's not truly going to change. Counseling may help but I had my fiance choke me one night randomly and I got in my car and left, never looked back. I'd have done the same thing had there been a baby involved. You don't need a guy in your life let alone one like that. If you saw your daughter in your shoes what would you say to her? You'd tell her to get out post haste. Men don't change and shoes don't stretch... I value you more as a person than that man does. You deserve better and so do your kids. Don't waste your time. I know you want to try but seriously you were gone 2 wks and some hoe was in your bed? Thats just not even a debate in my head or heart. Id be long gone filing for divorce on my own. Im not you so you'll do what you want but just know you do have support when/if you leave.
  • ckazfirstckazfirst
    I'm with @babynumbersix so totally right.
  • survivormommie3survivormommie3
    amen @ mommyof4girls!!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @babynumbersix i agree. Besides the fact that hes a dick, i cant believe youd wana put ur kids trough ths hun. And its not the other girls fault he needs to knw how to keep his dick in his pants, im sure he didnt have a gun to his head... dnt make excuses for him, f he did it once he will do it twice.
  • EmmiekenEmmieken
    That's me.. Naive! Look, this may be dumb, but this is what I'm going with right now. it is what it is. I really want a good marriage, and yes, he fucked up.. We all do. It friggin' sucks, but I feel like we can move forward from this. No relationship is perfect. I'm not saying he hasn't shown some jerk tendencies, but I am saying that I see good in him, and feel as if we can put this behind us. Marriage conseling should help us get through this, and if it doesn't, then we will inevitably divorce. I'm going to give it another shot. Like I said before... THANK YOU ladies. Each and every one of you for your opinionated posts on this. I truly am thankful for the comments-not changing my mind right now.. But thank you.
  • Jensensmommy15Jensensmommy15
    hope things get better for you.
  • BensMamaBensMama
    Sweetie please keep us updated on this. I have to agree with most of the others particularly @babynumbersix . I think it's great that you are listening so openly to everyone's advice even though you don't feel like you are in a place to take the advice right now. It is such a hard situation and I really do pray for you and your baby and your girls. Just remember to make your decisions on behalf of them and their best interests. I pray that therapy and whatever else will get through to him and help him change and mostly that he doesn't hurt you. Keep your head up, but be wise. He may not change. Ugh, what a crappy situation! I hope for the best for you and your family! Take care of yourself and remember you deserve someone who will take care of you and treat you right! Good luck! %%-
  • momof5momof5
    @babynumbersix said it all and I have to agree 100% with her. Also gna agree with @mommyof4girls

    My ex and I got into it over my phone. Stupid stupid fight. And I never thought that he would ever choke me in front of my son. What's gna happen when your husband chokes you out and takes off with your kids or worse kills you?? What will happen to your kids?? And please don't say it can't happen or that your husband would never do that cause working in the medical field we see women come in a lot either badly beaten or dead. And they too thought that their husband would NEVER do that.
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