Does anyone else have an unruly baby-daddy???

MythicaMythica
edited February 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Hey ladies. =) this is my first pregnancy, and lo-and-behold, I'm not with the father. -_- we broke up about two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. Now he has a new girlfriend (oh, excuse me, "fiance") and he's acting like he has total control of everything (when really, I'm in control.) He has no financial stability, an apartment his new girlfriend is paying for (that I put all my savings into about 3 months ago), fines to take care of, felonies on his record, and he still acts as though he can control what I do! He is stressing me out to the max, and I'm only 9 weeks and 4 days. I'm worried he may stress me out too much... my parents keep telling me to just tell him to ****-off, but I can't allow myself to do it (moral conflicts). He has been with this new girl for about a month, and he keeps trying to throw her in my face like, "ha! What are YOU gonna do about it?!" And I'm just sick of dealing with him. -_-

Any suggestions on handling him?

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Let it go....you giving him control when you allow his bs to stress you. Focus on you and your child's well-being and let him do him.
  • MythicaMythica
    Its really hard for me to do that. =( I am having this moral battle cuz I know its right for him to be a part of everything, but I don't want him acting like that to me. =( (granted, I broke up with him and I guess it hurt him pretty badly... =/) oh, did I mention that he's 27 and I'm 20? Yeah, when do they grow up?? >< lol.

    He also keeps telling me that he wishes I wasn't the mother of his first child. He even said (several weeks ago) that he hopes I miscarry. >_<
  • hupe23hupe23
    F**k him how is him being in ur childs life a good thing if he wants u to mc i hate men like him they are really the dog sh*t of the world i say go find urban baby a daddy he/she deserves not a guy that wished that horible crapon it
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited February 2011
    He can be a part of the child's life without being with you....and next time he says such horrible things to you, kill him with kindness. It works. Just say "I'm sorry you feel that way I really do, but this child has been made and you will take responsibility." Bc honestly that's all that matters is that your child is provided for
  • MythicaMythica
    I've been taking the high route. I don't yell at him anymore when he tries to get under my skin, and I wished him luck in his engagement (even though I wanted to do nothing other than call him out on all his nasty flaws). I just don't know how to get him to act mature. Cuz he keeps making comments about how he has every right for this or that because he is the father (and he calls me bipolar...) and he thinks he can treat me any which way he wants.
  • VictoriaBVictoriaB
    I like the f**k off idea so far. If he's going to be nasty, he doesn't have to be a part of your baby's life. Lots of men are willing to love and take care of a child that isn't biologically theirs. For instance, my dad loves babies and little kids, so he still baby sits his ex's youngest son.
  • septemberbubseptemberbub
    Do what makes u happy and is the least stress full for you . Let him know that ur the one carrying this bubba an u deserve respect . An until he can show u that he's not welcome near u. Any guy can b a baby's father but it takes a real man to b their dad. Don't let this arshole walk over u sweety . HOpe it all works out xxx
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • artistmammaartistmamma
    The morality issue that bothers you is best put into perspective by what septemberbub said: any man can father a baby, but it takes a real man to be that baby's father. And any guy saying such unforgivable things to the woman pregnant with his child, any man wishing his own flesh & blood baby would die, is NO father. Hell, he's not much of a man, either. I know it's a tough decision, but I'd put it to him like this: Until you can grow up, act mature, & behave respectfully, you'll have NOTHING to do with me or my baby. He/she will grow up knowing you were the sperm donor, but that you sure as hell ain't no father! So either change your attitude around, or I'm done with you.

    Honey, you have the right to be treated with respect & he has NO right to say such horrible things - no matter how bruised his ego is right now. It may not be the way you hoped or dreamed, & it may not be the ideal situation, but this baby is happening & he/she will have a GREAT mom, even if the dad is being a total waste. You can do this! With or without him being a part. Good luck & stay strong!
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