on drugs

chellechelle
edited May 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Has anyone had problems w there bd being on drugs? My bf of 6 years begged me for another child after I got pregnant I relized he was on drugs it has been getting worse and worse. I kicked him out about a month ago we have been trying to work things out and he relapsed very badly and things have been wors3 since he left. It's so bad he left me to take our 4 year old son to the dentist bymyself tday j for me to struggle all day to come home and find my new flat screen gone sry such a long vent

Comments

  • chellechelle
    Has anyone been through any of this I could really use some inspiration
  • socalMOMMA2boyssocalMOMMA2boys
    I am so sorry drugs suck! My husband and I are both clean otherwise I would not be with him. But a close family memeber of mines life is just getting worse and worse because of drugs. I have always known people who kinda messed around and party on occassion. But now my own sisters life is just ruined and she can't stop. I seriously cry eveytime I see a homeless person because I know that's how she will be. All I can say is I feel your pain you can't change them they have to change themselves. And if they don't care about their self enought to change they certainly can't care for us.
  • Jess510Jess510
    Yes I went through this for 5 years. Luckily my hubby has been sober three years now and were expecting our first child. I know how hard the struggle is. The thing I learned is people never get sober until Their ready.
  • chellechelle
    @Socalmomma2boys Ty I have been w him since I was 16 so its hard to see me wo him but enough is enough I work to hard to be in debt all the time he has done I know at least 700 bucks in drugs that I know of since Fri that's 4 days. I've only met one person to get of that crap I feel so lost
  • chellechelle
    @jess510 do u mind me asking what he was on? How did he get off? I hate to give up on him but I can't live like this
  • Jess510Jess510
    @chelle heroin... I was 16 when we got together had no idea until after we had lived together for a year( I was 18 then). He had been to jail several tines, entered a program, left the progran went back to jail, and I left him. I guess he finally just got tired of the lifestyle. I'm still scared he will relapse at first it was everyday the thought crossed my mind but just as death time helps heal the wounds.
  • jerricabjerricab
    It is really hard. My brother has relapsed 3 times and every time he runs out of money he steals from me and my mom. My bd also use to be on drugs. We broke up and he started using again then I found out I was pregnant I didn't expect him to change but he got clean and he says he wwill stay clean but I'm always waiting for things to go bad again. Its really hard to overcome addiction. Stay strong for your kids. They don't need to be around that.
  • Jess510Jess510
    @chelle he had used for ten years before he got sober. It took him until he got sober to admit it was heroin before that he would say it was "pills". At the end he was spending $100-$150 a day. Cut off the $ to him. I know how hard it can be I wish I did it sooner. We have a large debt due to his addiction.
  • chellechelle
    @jess510 wow 3 years and u still worry I feel like I would never trust him agian if he did get clean he has put me threw so much and while I'm pregnant and what gets me is he took from his son my baby cried his self to sleep tnight bc his daddy stole his tv :( where I'm from half of the people are on crack and from what I've learned is it is more mentally addictive which makes it so hard but personally I wouldn't know. So basically your husband had to hit rock bottom before he tried to change?
  • Jess510Jess510
    @jessicab I hate the stealing!!!!
  • angiefaceangieface
    My xhusband was a heroin addict .I know that hell all to well. The lies the betrayal.Being scared that you'll never see him again either he's in jail or dead.
  • chellechelle
    @jessie510 Ty this gives me some hope I know that I have to work on me being me but that gives ne hope for him bc god knows I love em
  • chellechelle
    @angieface yes I have been so worried about him tday even after everything he's done I'm still worried but I guess crack is better than heroin at least its not a needle I j wish I could have my man back I dnt know who that ma- is but it ain't my man
  • angiefaceangieface
    I never could get over it I never trusted him again though I loved him it was just too much. That's why we ended. My advice is stick to your guns if you feel something ain't rite it probally isn't.Tell him that he can choose to do whatever he wants but if he wants to be part of you and your babies life he has to be clean. Cut yourself off from him till he does. and if he steals from you call the cops he has to learn to be accountable for his bad decisions.
  • Jess510Jess510
    @chelle we don't really talk about it anymore. I guess it was bottom. Have you tried sending him to treatment? I sent him to a michigan for some trial drug to help with withdrawls but he lied about the amount he was taking so it never helped. I sent my info to those tv shows. I called local detox places but all of them were full as well as the halfway houses. He didn't have medical coverage at the time so we felt stuck. We even tried leaving him far away at a motel but after one day he called a friend and relapsed. heroin withdrawl is very painful and he says he got tired of it. Jail sucks but I think thats the only way he would havr gotten sober. He even tried methadone. I have been through it all with him!
  • Jess510Jess510
    @angieface trust is the hardest. He wanted it so bad, but I just couldn't get over it. Till this day when he has a runny nose i'll ask him if he's using.
  • Jess510Jess510
    @chelle he never used a neddle. He snorted it. I don't know if ones better than the other. I know I finally gave up. It was too draining. I knew I deserved better even though i loved him with all my heart.
  • angiefaceangieface
    yeah I gave up I was tired of having to be a detective I would seriously check him for tracts. make him use the bathroom with the door open .search him ahhhhh Soooo exhausting !
  • angiefaceangieface
    im happy for you though that he decides to clean his act up...you know that's rare with H addicts.
  • chellechelle
    @jess510 oh I didn't know u could snort that stuff. He has spent over 1000 bucks on outpatient rehab when he was doing it all alone so I'm not sure I can trust him ever and if I can it will be a /omg time guess its time for me to be alone for awhile
  • chellechelle
    @angieface I know what u mean I didn't look for the same things tho bc he smokes crack not heroin but I search for razors beer cans that he smokes out of adhtrays w cog butts and no ashes etc
  • tbaby2011tbaby2011
    My bd was addicted to pills and coke bad I didn't know that he even did any of it til we had been together for six months. He kept telling me everytime we were short on money that he was done and didn't want to live like that anymore. He would be clean for a day or so. Then last oct we lost our son I was 16 wks pregnant with him. They induced me instead of a dnc they gave me the medicine and he was there for that then he left! He said he would be right back but he never came back I did not see him again til the next evening when I got released from hospital and went to my moms to stay. He told me he couldn't take it so he had drained my bank account and tried to od while I was in hospital. We talked and he agreed he needed help. We tried to work on things and I thought they were going good on christmas eve we found out I was prego again and a week later I found out that the whole time he had been using again. So the beginning of jan. I left him we were split up for almost two months and he got clean he stayed at a clean house til we got back together in march and he now has a job and goes to na meetings regularly and I sometimes go with him. He has been clean for just over 120days now I am very proud of him and the programs work if you work at them. You just have to remember that they didn't become an addict over night and they wont be cured over night either they say at the meetings just for today and that's all you can do is take it one day at a time and help him remember the family he will lose if he doesn't change.
  • Adfennell83Adfennell83
    Hmmmmm I been in both positions my ex is a heroin addict he was clean for 4 yrs n relapsed one night while I was working. We split over it. A few yrs ago I developed my own addiction I ended up having to leave my husband and go into hiding I almost lost my son to his dad n a lot of other stuff. I came a long way and ive been clean a bit over a yr now. I have a great guy now who knows my past n helps me keep it in tge past our daughter is due this month too I cant really tell u how to deal w ur man but im praying for u and addiction is not easy stay strong n know that if u need to talk im here
  • chellechelle
    @adfennell83 Ty I could use someone to Florida bc someone who hasn't been there j doesn't understand I have great support but they dnt know what to say when it happens and its so hard to stay away bc I love him so much and our second child is due in 7 weeks
  • chellechelle
    ? Not sure y florida is in there android has a mind of its own!
  • Adfennell83Adfennell83
    @chelle im here if ya need me girl I know first hand its a rough road and the light is there with a little faith in someone
  • chellechelle
    @adfennel83 plz tell me it gets easier
  • natandfer1993natandfer1993
    @chelle my father was a drug addict. He also suffered from bipolar disorder. He had different phases. He did anything from weed (which doesn't bother me) to meth. and everything in between, Xanax (i think its spelled like that soulds like zanax) but anyways, it was very hard on as a child. When he was high he would be nice and wanna go and do things. But when he would come down he would punch holes in walls, try to hurt himself. He kidnapped me once, well sorta. The cops called it that but he just took me to the gas station to get a pack of gum and some candy. but anyways, it was very very hard on me and i was always kind of scard of him. He moved out of my moms house when i was like 8 and i remember everytime i visited him any noise would make me jump. It got to the point i could tell if he was high from the way he wore his hat, or the sound of his voice. Idk how bad it is, but my mom gave him lots of chances and eventually had to make the hard one. dont know if it helps but its coming from a kids point of view. to this day loud noises bring me back to that
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