Depressed.. I think.
I extremly miss my family. Moved to ny from tx so we could have a better life, better jobs and whatever else. I wasn't mentallyor emotionally ready to move here. I did it more cause the bf is from here, he moved to tx to be with me. He missed his city life (not social) and select friends. He (I too) was getting frustrated with not finding a job in the town we lived in. It was a small town where my mom lives, ok fine. But at the same time we could have moved 2 hours to where I'm from, between Houston and Galveston, where there are jobs, and the town isn't small. But no, money wise it was easier to move here to ny and stay with friends than to have our own place in tx. All along he knew and still knows that I wanted my child born in texas, I'm a texan and we take pride in being one. I don't know anyone in my family who hasn't been born in texas, forreal. So, I feel I gave in to his frustration, and I wanted to be the righorter and make it right. I'm scared my Mom wont make it here for when Malia is born, she can't work due to back surgery and relies on unemployment. I will be devistated if she isn't here, she will be too. I feel like I let my family down by moving here, I'm so close with my mom sister and nephew. I cried the whole plane trip here, I'm crying now. I guess I just don't what to do cause at the same time, I do have a good boyfriend. I'm lost. I know my mom would say come home, in a heartbeat.
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On a side note, I feel much better after doing some talking.