my mother in law thinks i'm carrying her child and it is freaking me out :(
So, I was thinking Riley, and a long time ago I said Rileyanna. Then I thought, If I do Riley Ann, that would be a nice nod to hubby's Mom, and it is cute. Well, that is out. Here is why: So my whole family was over and we were doing the lunch thing for celebrating hubby's graduation. My sister sat beside by me, my mom and grandparents across from me. Hubby's mom said something or passed me something and I said, very nicely and genuinely, "Thank-you Ann!" She stopped dead cold and snapped at me, "Don't call me that! I hate the name Ann. I don't like it when people call me that." To which I was completely thrown off and responded, "I'm sorry" and she cut me off and continued "ONLY MY two daughters can call me Ann and I don't want you calling me that anymore." To which I then responded, and I can't believe I had my wits about me because I felt totally slapped in the face, "I'm very sorry, I wish you had told me that sooner before I was in the habit of calling you that..." (as in I've been calling you that for ten year and now you go ballistic?) And she just blew over that and ranted on another minute about it and how only her two daughters can call her that. I was basically like, listen, I know I am not your daughter, but you don't have to keep reminding me that I am so far below them. Then, for one of hubby's graduation presents she actually gave him little girl outfits and then has the audacity to email me Monday morning letting me know that for Mother's Day, she got more baby girl outfits. She didn't even wish me a Happy Mother's day and when my mom gave me a present she rolled her eyes and walked out of the room until I finished with it. I bent over backwards to make sure she got what she wanted for Mother's day and that hubby gave it to her. She made a big deal about her two daughters being Moms and I just am like, wtf? Especially after Valentine's Day her bragging about getting baby clothes then too. It is really creeping me out how she thinks this baby is hers and pissing me off that she is completely ignoring the fact that this is my hubby and my first child. I am to the point where I am supposed to be planning hubby's birthday party for Saturday at his sister's house and I am going to have everything ready to go and fake sickness and claim pregnancy and send him without me because I don't think I can take anymore of her drama and crap. They even had the audacity to tell me that only cloth diapers were to be used on this child to which I responded (to hubby's dad) "If you guys want to raise another child, have another baby, but this one is mine and we are doing disposable and I get to make the decisions." And I walked off while he just looked pissed. I want to move away and never visit them again. And when I talk to hubby about this I feel like he just thinks I am emotional because I am pregnant. This has been upsetting me all week and then I got the email from her and saw her fb status and I just wanted to slap her. She never says anything about me just her precious baby. What pisses me off even more is that if we were having a boy, she wouldn't give a crap. I'm just at a loss as to what to do, but I am scared that I'm going to be home with the baby and she is just going to come over whenever she damn well pleases and let herself in with her emergency key. I already am at a point where I don't want her at the birth and I'm just sick of all her comments about "her baby girl." I feel like a surrogate and I didn't want to be depressed and feel disconnected from my baby, but that is where I am at right now, I just feel like I'm carrying a child that everyone else thinks is theirs and no one cares or respects that I am the mommy. anyway, I needed to vent. Thank-you for listening. I feel so trapped and I don't see this getting better. 
I literally just want to cry all the time.
I literally just want to cry all the time.
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sorry in strange situations idk how to handle I joke(:
Just curious, why did she get mad when you called her Ann? Isn't that her name? What are you supposed to call her? Also, has she always been this way or just since baby?
I would change the locks too!
Oh man good luck! I guess I agree with everyone else, put your foot down, this is YOUR baby. Don't sacrifice anything you want for anyone else!
I'm sorry I vented on your post like this I was just shocked that somebody else was feelin like me oh yea she is 36 and I'm 24 living on my own. First born!!!!
First, thank-you all! I thought I was losing my mind and that maybe it was the pregnancy making me crazy. Your stories and insights are definately making me feel better. I know it was a long vent, and what follows will probablybe too, so thanks for listening.
Her name is a combined name, AnnMarie, so she wants me now to call her that I guess (APPARENTLY this is something new, but only for me). I had a dream last night that I went into labor and she tried to come in the room and I told her that like I am not one of her two daughters, she is not my mom and wasn't welcome. I think you all are right though, I do not want her at the delivery and I won't let her, I already have that in my birth plan and will let the nurses know she is waiting room (and hubby's dad) only. I'll give her a chance, but you all are right, if she abuses the key situation, the locks will get changed. GOOD CALL!
With my hubby, the thing that really ticks me off is that his parents have ignored him in favor of the other grandchildren, and when he got mad at them one time about it, actually told his mom how much it upset him that he only got to see them every few monthes when (lord help me) they only live ten minutes away. HER RESPONSE? Swear to God above, "When you have children I will be spending more time with you." He responded back that he shouldn't have to have children for his own mother to want to spend time with her only son. SHe ignored that and has done nothing to make their relationship better. And she really thinks I am going to give her time with my kids? That has been bothering me all day, so I think when she comes over to spend time with the baby, I am going to send her away to go have lunch with him and when she starts recognizing him as her child first, I will allow more time with the baby.
Usually by hubby admits when she is living in crazy town, but he actually told me about the clothes thing, "My mom is just excited, unlike your mom." TO which I corrected him very quickly, my mom HAS bought clothes for the baby, but to give me at the baby shower and is saving them up until then as a big gift. SHe isn't buying baby clothes and giving them to herself as gifts and then bragging about it on facebook. THAT IS CREEPY no matter how you look at it, but he doesn't think so.
@dontknow_wut2do I don't mind you venting/ sharing at all. She is crazy too. Except my MIL has actually already set up the old crib from her other grandchildren in a guestroom and is decorating around it! WHAT??? I'm not even 20 weeks!
This weekend is hubby's birthday party and if something happens again I am going to muster that strength all over again and just ask her straight, "You do realize this is my baby, and this is your baby's birthday party right? Can we focus on him?" It breaks my heart that he is their only son, and a damn good man, and they ignore him so much. They weren't going to do anything for his birthday because we celebrated his graduation last week, but I put it all together and insisted (It's not a big affair, make your own boboli pizzas and a homemade cake, but just getting the fmaily together, 30 is a milestone). But if we can't make it to one of the kid's birthdays we are horrible people and aren't supporting them. UGH. I might have to get up and leave the room if they give him baby clothes... and scream in the other room... Oh, she sent me another email this morning asking me about what I was bringing to the party and signed it, "Love to my precious baby girl!" Good thing I get to work at 5:30am... I yelled out bitch and luckily no one heard me. I wish there was a get out of the asylum free card...
@one5one I think you are on to something. His mom had two girls (clearly, we've got that down) and then 10 years after having them, my hubby was an oops baby. Maybe she never really ever wanted him, which is sad to even think. His grandmother raised him because she went back to work almost after giving birth and I know that is where he got his morals and grounding. I wish I could have met her, but she passed before we met. Good come back, I'm totally going to say "He can't fit in those??? Were those supposed to be for the baby shower? Are we going to get Jason's clothes for the shower?" and if she makes a comment about me being rude or whatever, I will add the other part, "It would have been nice for Jason to have been the center of attention instead of ignoring him in favor of the baby." Thanks for that!!! I know it won't go over well, but I know if I don't stand up now, it won't ever happen. If we are able to ever get to talk about it with her,I'll update you on her answer. I would want to have closure on that craziness!