A little boy asks his dad 4a new bike. His dad told him no and explained 2him how he took a pay cut &how they were struggling 2pay their high mortgage &other bills &jst cudnt afford a new bike 4him. The nxt day the dad us leavin 4work &sees his son by the door with his clothes packd &askd wats goin on he replies "last nite I heard u &mom in the bedroom &she said she was almost there &u said wait im comin with u &u guys aint leavin me here wit all these bills &no new bike!"
So one day there was this fish swimming around the lake and he looks up and sees a fly about to land on the water and he thinks to himself when that fly hits the water I'm gonna catch him and have myself a dinner. Well right out of the water was a bear and he is thinking to himself when that fish comes up to get that fly I'm gonna snatch him up and have myself a dinner. Across the lake is a hunter and he is thinking to himself when that bear goes for that fish I'm going to shoot him dead and have myself a dinner . Behind that hunter there's a a cougar and he is thinking to himself when that hunter goes to shoot that bear I'm going to jump on him and have myself a dinner. So sure enough thefly lands on the water the fish swims up and catches the fly the bear swats the fish out of the water the hunter shoots the bear and the cougar goes to jump on the hunter and the hunter dodges him and so the cougar lands in the lake ... The moral of the story:whenthe fly goes down, the pussy gets wet!!
A mom is takin a bath with her 5 yrs old son. He ask " what's that bushy thing?" She replies "that's my sponge". "Ah" says the kids. " the babysitter has one too I saw her washing dads face".
Or how about...... I said to my husband the other day....."The more pregnant I get the more people look at me and smile." He replied "That's because you're fatter than they are!"
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The moral of the story:whenthe fly goes down, the pussy gets wet!!
Have you heard bout them new jet skirts?
They're great but barely cover the cock pit
What kind of bees make milk
Boobees
You can't fit your finger between the rope and his neck!
Through his chest with a sharp knife!
I tell these to my boyfriend and he says nice! lol