How would you describe your relationship

PEsMommYPEsMommY
edited May 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
I've read before in sociology bout the difference between "realistic" and "romantic" love. The movies and media are more apt to put the spotlight on romantic love. Where it's perfect, falling in love, idealizing, always sweet moments. Watch any chick flick and that's usually what most women want, and fits the text description. Realistic love is more of the accepting the other person for who they are, being comfortable, learning and problems. Research shows that couples with a realistic love have a lower divorce rate. However than comes the whole empty shell marriage thing, when comfort looses the good and they stay together for wrong reasons. I do a lot of reading and studying in social sciences, and on peoples stories, even include the media, trying to gather the norm in American society. I have parents who have been divorced twice, grandparents celebrating 56yrs this christmas eve, and the different relationships of people round me. Now reading on this site I see even more diff types of relationship issues and stories. I don't think everything is black and white in relationships, hell with any aspect of being human. But what do you ladies go off of for your relationships? And how would you describe it.
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Comments

  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    Id say teh first year it was romantic love and after that its realistic love. all i kno is that i love him even more than the day he said i lvoe you and ill love him even more next year
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    Awe :) good answer @rissalee7
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    edited May 2011
    http://www.divorceinteractive.com/romantic_love.asp

    Describes difference
  • dra765dra765
    Mmmmm I would say mine is realistic love bc I'm still crazy for him even after helping thru the pain of a pimple on his crack lmao
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    Lol def realistic there @dra765
  • natandfer1993natandfer1993
    My relationship has aspects of both. I deal with problems but we still have romantic times a lot too
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    lol @dra765 i def agree there if we can pop theyre but pimples and still look at theyre face in teh morning its very realistic. also my bf puts on my meds for my external yeast infection ( I kno TMI) cuz i cant see anything down there at 33 weeks adn still says he loves me
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    lol @dra765 i def agree there if we can pop theyre but pimples and still look at theyre face in teh morning its very realistic. also my bf puts on my meds for my external yeast infection ( I kno TMI) cuz i cant see anything down there at 33 weeks adn still says he loves me
  • Mom2bIA0528Mom2bIA0528
    Me and my boyfriend have only been together like 1 1/2 year...I would describe us as realistic, with a dash of romantic lol we are only lovey dovey sometimes we are already like an old married couple we share our lives and soon a child, we got custody of his 4 year old so its not like a young teenage lust its a mature relationship that I'm in till my life ends
  • hayz_babyhayz_baby
    U need both realistic and romantice like an equation for each couple tht is rite for them both lovin them because of this they do that and realistically u know they r this and tht.. Its not jus one thing but a multitude of different things.. Me and my boyf have been togeva for four yrs now we r still defo in love but its different then3 yrs ago but i can say it hasnt been easy.. He has some mental health anxiety issues tht uas made our relationship difficult.. The past yr we had to work hard to.keep it goin but we did and we r still workin to this day.. Still.l love each other but inwould say more grown up lovr lol
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  • dra765dra765
    Lol @Rissalee7 that is tmi :P but I didn't pop it I just watched its progress lol it was beyond popping
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    Good answers thanks everyone.
    I'm newly married (jan 22 2011) and me and my hubby have been together for years. I have a 6yr old son, we have a mortgage and bills, same hopes and goals, and a lil girl on the way. We communicate, can go to the bathroon if the other is in there, go out on the town, visit family, play with our dogs and argue like no other. Our love is also realistic and romantic. Our wedding want the most elaborate, but had a ton of emotions in it. We are young (I'm 22, he's 24) but I'm so happy with him. I get disgusted at times, and even question how much he really loves me (especially after watching a chick flick) but my hubby rubs my feet, we batge together, fixes me meals, takes me out, treats my son like his own, and provides for us. We're not romantic all the time, but we are always us. And our sexlife is good as well. We're not perfect, heck he posted a craigslist ad once while we were dating and I flirted with a guy at the club, but we both haven't done anything since and are content and happy.

    I guess after reading so many negative things on here I just was curious how others were.
  • Jess510Jess510
    We've been together 8 years and expecting our first child. I would definetly.say our relationship is realalistic. We have been through many rough and hard times, but always manage to make it through. I'm 24 and he's 29. Sometimes I think it's the other way around. : )
  • hayz_babyhayz_baby
    Ppl always tlk about the negative about everythin n u never hear the gd.. Mainly coz i think u dnt notice the gd in n e thin
  • TwinMamaToBeTwinMamaToBe
    Me and My husband were just married in December but we dated and lived together for about 4 years. I would say we have both romantic and realastic aspects, every relationship has ups and downs but I know I love him cause even when its down it him that I love. I'm 28 and he is 25 :)
    My parents are also divorced, but my grandparents just celebrated 52 years, I hope to one day have what they do :)
  • EdubsbabyEdubsbaby
    I find this an interesting thread since you do read a LOT more negative on here. I see our relationship as more realistic with a dash of romantic. We have been together for over 12 years and married for 6. Although we were engaged for 4 years of the 6 I do consider us as married at that time. We took our time. We got married by the church and we wanted to be sure it was for life. Yes, there are many hard times and tough times, but it does make you apreciate your partner even more. We consider ourselves as a team, to push each other and be there. We don't curse or call each other names. We try to have dinner and pray every day. We keep our arguments to ourselves and work them out without anyone else's opinion. We do little romantic things for each other and make each other a priority. We r expecting our first and t see him change again so completely for us makes me feel so much more love and respect for him.
  • BevosnowBevosnow
    This is one of the most interesting threads I have read in a while. My husband and I have been together since I was 18 years old and got married when I was 23. We will be celebrating our 11 year wedding anniversary in September (I am now 34). I would definitely classify our relationship as the "realistic type". However, we do have our romantic moments and are always telling each other how much we love them (and in different ways...not just saying "I love you" before we go to bed). I love my husband with all my heart. We grew together...through many good times as well as challenging times. I can't imagine myself living without him and not being married to him. We are very comfortable with each other, I trust him completely, he treats me like I am the most important person in the world, we respect each other, we have a lot of fun together and enjoy spending time together. Right now, I am more in love with him than ever. He has been an amazing "daddy to be" and I know he's going to be an incredible father. It is so endearing that it just warms my heart.
    Like I said, very interesting thread. Thank you for starting it :-)
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    @twinmamatobe awe I wanna be like my grandparents too

    @edubsbaby did you guys have to do premartial counseling too? We did and I loved the info we learned from my paster

    @bevosnow I like things like this and thank you for commenting. Sounds like you and your husband have such an amazing relationship :) wow 11 years and still such positive energy when you "type" bout him. I hope I can be like that with my hubby down the road.

    @jess510 the hard times always make the good times so much better :) congrats to you both

    @hayz_baby there is definetly more negativity in this world and it's such a shame. Not saying people should be naieve or that ignorance is bliss, but too much can be taken for granted
  • FirstTimeDaddyFirstTimeDaddy
    ours is realistic. she isnt prefect. but I love her anyways. n she accepts me for who I am. im really romantic n want to do all these corny things for get n she is, more like "flowers for no reason. I guess" n I just smile cuz she is adorable. she straight up told me. "idk if I wasnt prego I dont think id still want to b w u. cuz there r days I just can't stand u n I don't think I should have to.deal w that. but then again I think the reason I can't stand u is cuz im prego w ur child so I think we r exactly whee we need to b" I was like hm. hormones lol. I love my baby
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    Awe @firsttimedaddy so hhappy to get a mans perspective :) u sound like a good guy
  • ExcitedtobeExcitedtobe
    I think you should like your man lol or woman because you can love some one but not like them. My hubby and I said for our wedding vows we should have said we are here to ruin the rest of our lives together ;p jokes we got em
  • LilOneOnTheWayLilOneOnTheWay
    I've been happily married for almost 3 years and with my husband for 9 plus years total. We are best friends and I would say we have realistic love, but with a balance of romance. I love him more than anything, still think he is so handsome, and look forward to growing old together.
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  • blissmarie23blissmarie23
    My husband and I got to know each other as friends for several years before we dated. Our love is totally realistic. I wish it was a little more romantic. But I know that's a skill he can learn over time. He's an extremely nice guy and I couldn't have asked for someone more committed to me. I have prayed and been patient though for him to kick up the romantic love a notch and I do think it should be a balance. I agree with you about seeing alot of different relationships on here. I'm extremely grateful for my husband and his gentle, steady demeanor. It seems like there are alot of women on this forum that deal with violence and emotional abuse. I feel fortunate not to be in those types of situations anymore.
  • lae3lae3
    mine is realistic.. common weve been together for 10 years.. lol.. weve past all those other stages.. we are loveing, appreciative, and know eachother inside and out .. lol.. but we have our rough days too.. were we just need some space.. like .. man your face is gettin on my nerves.. lol.. jk.. but something like that..
  • Nikkmb3Nikkmb3
    Well I'm not sure if mine counts. We've known eachother for almost two years but never considered eachother as a significant others. We did couple things but were never a couple. I'm in love with him. Have been from the get go. He's the father of my baby who is due Oct 23rd and hasn't spoken to me for over a month now. Anyways, I think it is a realistic love because I always loved him for him even though he makes me insane most of the time. Again, this may not count.
  • pooh22pooh22
    Well we both think its realistic love becuz n the beginning yea it was jus all fun n kinda romantic but as time went on we started seeing the real us n arguing a lot but then I realized he was all I wanted n jus the perfect man n many ways I haven't seen yet now we are super lovey dovey n no if either one of us tried to walk away or cheat it will crush the both of us
  • gemini_babiesgemini_babies
    I would say realistic. We are newlyweds and pregnant with twins. We have been together for 8 yrs. We were friends for 6 years prior. We keep no secrets and still have an intimate relationship. We are passionately inlove just as we were since our first date. He is supportive and considerate. He is my soulmate. :)
  • chellechelle
    I have to say realistic I made him leave a couple days ago but I love him so much and I know he loves me but right now obviously not romantic !
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