Annoying best friend!! Rant about her copying me. *advice please*

edited May 2011 in Pregnant
So my so called best friend is pregnant to she is due 3 days before me. I was so over the moon when she told me. I have beenega supportive to her. However she isn't being the same. I mean I'm not paranoid it's not my hormones it is real. She has never commented on my scan pictures or anything (i have with hers I have been so excited). I was hoping for a little girl as people had worked me up to believe I was having a girl, when I found out it was a little boy ( which I am more relieved about as I am a Tom boy lol) she was like ahh shame it's not a girl, not congrates or is everything ok with him just a spiteful comment. I had mentioned a couple of times about getting this furniture set for my baby and she had said it was nice, then went put and brought it for hers. I was cool with that I changed my mind on it in the end anyway. She then started telling me I shouldn't get my private scan because I should be spending it on my baby, I was in shock. I just dismissed it, them she started saying how because she wasn't getting a private scan she could afford all these expensive clothes and how she would never dress her child in clothing from asda or mothercare. I was like meh your choice. She constantly makes digs at me for the choices I make and has made this into a competition where she has to constantly put do me all the bloody time. I haven't played along. So because none of my clothes fit me anymore my sister decided to treat me to some maternity clothes. I posted a couple of pictures on Facebook for my sister to see what I wanted and with in the 10mins of them being up my friend had ordered those items for herself. I broke down. I feel like nothing I do is my own and I can't share anything I buy with friends and family or get peoples opinions on anything because she will buy it for her self.
She really is doing these things to spite me and knows what she is doing. Like I had been saying once I have had the baby I'm going to dye my hair back to my natural blonde. The next day she had dyed her hair blonde.
I dunno what to do, if I drop contact with her I lose a good friend. If I confront her then it'll cause rows. I need help!!! I want my pregnancy to be as unique as possible and not so competitive. I want her to be as supportive to me as I am to her.
Any advice on how to get my life back and stop a copycat?

P.S sorry bout the essay lol
P.P.S forgot to mention that after me and bd spilt she can't help but tell me how her family will be perfect and how in love with her bf she is. Not cool.

Xx
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Comments

  • OMG that is sooo creepy. I'm sorry
  • Has she always been so conpetitive with you or others? Sounds like she hasn't a real thought to herself and instead of asking your advice and input she's just taking your ideas. I'm sorry, we had a bro in law copy our decor style down to painting each room same colors! My ex would say no worries, he,was flattered. Drove me nuts!
  • She really doesn't sound like much of a friend!! I'm sorry!!
  • She sounds like a serious jerk.. if she is a really good friend, pregnant or not, id confront her for sure... she needs some talking too..
  • Sounds to me like she's one of those 'keeping up with the Joneses kind of person. She doesn't sound like a 'friend' to me. Even if she doesn't comment on your fb posts she should at least support your decisions as you hve with her
  • You look young from your pic so friends may seem super important still, and don't get me wrong everyone needs friends, BUT not the toxic kind. She has issues, you need to have a relaxing enjoyable pregnancy so keep her at a distance. Cut her off. Facebook, everything. You will find that she wasn't as good of a friend as you once thought she was. Plus side you will be so busy once the baby comes, priorities change and you can meet some new mommy friends.
  • You say you don't want to lose a good friend, but it seems like you already have.
  • Ok honestly u need to let that "friend" go.....i have a similar situation and I just stopped talking to her ...ur baby is ur number 1 priority now, she is the one loosing aa good friend not u! If u wana talk more let me kno bc I kni exactly wut ur goin thru
  • She hasnt been a friend your whole pregbancy. If you really want to keep her you need to talk to her.. but i agree she doesnt sound like a good friend to me either. I would talk to her and if her attitude doesnt change then i would blox
    ck her on facebook ao she cant see your life and steal your ideas.. its unfair
  • If she is this way now, imagine how competitive she will be between the kids. I would get out now.
  • Start telling her your gunna do things that you really aren't . I had a friend like that who always wanted to do the same things and wear the same clothes to school so shed ask me what I was going to wear to school and would have on the same colors outfits would be basically the same so i started lying to her. Uhhh I hate copy cats lol.
  • I have been in a similiar situation a few times, where a friend was really hurting me, but I wasn't ready to let them go. And the best advice I can give you is to cut ties with her. It won't get better and you're just going to cause yourself unnecessary stress.

    Especially, in this situation, because it won't stop once you have the baby. She's going to trash your labor story and compare your kid's milestones and generally make you feel like a bad mom. You don't have to be a drama queen about it though. I would just hide her from your FB feed for awhile and ignore her texts and eventually, you can prob delete her without a lot of drama.
  • She's not a friend. Dump her & tell her nothing!
  • No she has never been like this before, yeah it is creepy I suppose. I don't know what to do and I dread her finding out she has a girl because it will just be rubbed in my face and I dread her having a boy because the copying will be endless :'( gahh I dunno what to do. My sisters are all making digs at her copying me and she still don't stop. I just think it will result in my telling her to do one lol. I am and you guys are right, I need to drop her. I can't imagine the competition when Elliot's here, I'm having a panic attack thinking about it so best thing to do is move on lol, thanks everyone. It really is depressing, losing a friend and a bf within the past couple of months. All I need is me and my little boy <3 xx
  • I would lose that friend.It just may get worse after ya'll babies are born.I just couldn't deal with that.
  • @excitedforbaby I can't deal with it ATM lol x
  • We would be fighting.lol..hell no. Or tell her "imma dye my hair purple" and then when she dyes her hair p
  • Hair purple then dye yours the way you want it.....tell her the opposite of what you're gonna do.
  • @rawsky do not just dump her. None of us know how great your relationship was before the pregnancy but it could be that she just looks up to you I would first try having a conversation with her Letting her know how you feel and see why she is doing that. If she is your best friend you guys should be able to talk about anything. Goodluck keep us posted.
  • Don't feel too horrible! at least she wants to be you... honestly it sounds like she is jealous of everything about you so she is trying to compensate for being a bitch. Which if she acts that way... chances are you are prettier than her xD I kinda have the same shit going on with my "best friend" except she isn't pregnant... that we know of at least long story short canada, internet boyfriend, she donesn't know shit about getting pregnant, hasn't started her period yet (or at least hasn't rubbed it in my face that she has like she said she would) you know.. one of those things.... but any who, she is constantly critisizing me about getting pregnant at 20 and saying i should wait so i can get shit faced with her all the time and do porn with her even tho i think its morally putrid and do acid and all this shit then when ever i try to talk about the baby she says "i dont wanna hear it lets talk about all the old times with us" and she is the most self centered person in the worrrlllldddd. i was going to make her the god mom of my child but she is wayyy irresponsible, spends EVERY last penny from her uhh "career" on weed, still lives with her parents and has no social life out side of the internet when she lives in a town with a bunch of people from high school and what not and then cries how she doesn't have any friends... she always has tried to be like me, dressing wise, personality wise, use to dye her hair the same colors, then talked shit about me to make it seem like i was doing that to her. She can't stand to see me happy, so I stopped talking to her.
  • @sunshinelove yea that is crazy I would have had to let her go to
  • @octmommy2b i really do hope she gets pregnant tho... one reason and one reason only, okay maybe 2 reasons.... cuz the way her body is built she will get HORRIBLE stretch marks cuz she isn't made for growing like that and that will ruin her porn carreer (so will being pregnant but ya know xD) and She will have to grow up and quit being so self centered. altho... i dont at the same time cuz that poor little baby will have such a horrible mother :( <3
  • :-| that's hilarious all I can do is laugh but totally self centered n I'm glad you did what you had to do for the sake if you and your baby. And I agree she dosent need to be a mommy but then again it may slow her down.
  • (*) sorry wrong one @sunshinelove
  • What I see in this is jealousy. There is something about you that really she wishes she had more of in herself. However, that would get old real quick for me. Its not even like she is trying to one up you, she is just doing everything the same as you. Maybe take a break from her for a bit. I'm not saying throw in the towel on your whole relationship. I don't know how long you have been friends or what its been like previously. But like I said, maybe just take a break and then you can talk to her about it later on.
  • Teach her the hard way. Delete her from fb. U need to worry about ur baby and ur life... she sounds jealous to me... ..
  • on facebook you can limit who can see what so when it comes to new baby stuff and posting pictures make them not visible to her and when she talks to you about your baby dont go into specifics of what your plans are just keep details as vague as possible
  • Whatever you do... Dobt tell her what your naming your baby!
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