Baby Shower next weekend and I'm getting sad...(vent)
(PLEASE DO NOT BASH) ...because my sister in law just told me that my mom might not be coming after all. Apparently I'm still being used as an example of what not to do, and it isn't fair. We're texting back and forth about it and it's bringing up old hurtful memories of when I was pregnant with my daughter (among other things). With my pregnancy then, I was 18/19, living with my boyfriend and his family, and got pregnant before we got married. My mother apologized but said she had to set an example for my sisters who were 16/17 and 14/15 at the time so that they wouldn't think it was okay to get pregnant before you got married. I was really hurt but I respected it. Well, my youngest sister had a baby shower last October when she was 19 and pregnant by her boyfriend that she was living with and NOT married to. My mother was excited about every little bit of the pregnancy - and even set up the baby shower herself! I did the best I could to get over it by telling myself that we were all grown now and that there were no examples to be set anymore, that it was all in the past. Well, this pregnancy is from a relationship I was in while my now husband and I were separated (I'm not volunteering all of the details again because I have explained them before, but if you really want to know you can inbox me and ask, I have no problem explaining it to anyone who's curious). Long story short, we're back together, and my parents have made it a point to let me know that this is another one of their grandchildren and that they will treat him equally no matter what. Well, first my father informs me that he refuses to go to the hospital during any of the time I'm there (during/after labor), but said that it's because he does not want to meet the baby's father (he refused to when we were dating as well, because I wasn't 'legally divorced' yet, he saw my dating as a crime). He's also trying really hard to keep my mother from going, and she insists that it's a difficult choice for her because she has to stay true to her husband, but she wants to support MY husband while I'm giving birth to this other man's child. Okay...so it's not because she wants to be there for her daughter. I guess I'll let that slide...but now we have the baby shower coming up in a week. She had already told me she was coming, and I've been getting excited and being careful of who I invite so that there isn't any drama as a result of inviting people that my mother and possibly the rest of my family might be uncomfortable around and now I find out that she is talking about not showing up?! I feel like I'm 19 again and I'm being used as an example. 'You see Erin, girls? Don't ever do what she did - she got pregnant with someone before her divorce was finalized. She's screwed up her entire life, and even though we still love her and the baby, we don't want her getting the idea that this baby is okay.' It's sad though because this isn't the first time this has happened. I was an example for getting pregnant as an unwed teenager, I was an example for leaving my husband when the relationship wasn't working out, I was an example for dating someone else while I was separated but not divorced, and now it looks like I'm an example for getting pregnant with someone when I wasn't with my husband.
GYAH. Talk about a way to make you feel like you just can't win.
GYAH. Talk about a way to make you feel like you just can't win.
Comments
@ssetty6000 I'm so sorry.