question for women who's husband can't be there while pregnant..

smcoxsmcox
edited May 2011 in Pregnant
So my husband has been offered a job in Alaska (we currently live in southern California) and it would be really good for us financially. The only issue is I will be staying in Ca till after our son is born, my husband won't take there job unless I'm 100% sure I would be okay with him not being around while I'm pregnant. But the company here's already agreed to let him come back to Ca in time to be here for the birth. Two or three months after he's born baby and I will join him up there. My question is how difficult has it been with hubby not being there? I'm currently 16 weeks btw.

Comments

  • podgemarinepodgemarine
    Well is say its rough... but very do able. My husband is military and stationed in Japan while im in Idaho.. he won't get to even be here for the birth so I'm gonna say if it is financially smarter then i would do it. It's not a forever situation so as long as u know u can do it then is say go for it! Do u have family in California?
  • mandac10mandac10
    I've delt with no one being there my 1st two pregnancy. It's not bad at all if anything makes u stronger. My sis n friend were in the delivery room with me when I poped. I rather b alone then have my husband here honestly
  • Mrz_JacksonMrz_Jackson
    My hubby works a month home for 14 days an leaves again I'm on my 3rd baby an don't think he's never been to any of my ultrasounds an maybe 2 reg appointments none wit this pregnancy. It gets easier Im use to it I jus keep in mind we have to have money for our babies an I get threw it.ull be fine good luck to u an ur pregnancy!;)
  • smcoxsmcox
    Yeah, my parents are here. And if he takes the job I would move back in with them. He's in Alaska right now fulfilling his national guard duty, he'll be there for a month. I can't imagine him being in another country or not being there for the birth!
  • smcoxsmcox
    Anyone else?
  • cetheridgecetheridge
    We're in Alaska and my husbands military he's been able to be here for the pregnancy minus training but work calls for him to miss the appts anyway. And we have a 2 week period for baby to come between his next cycles of training. Dr wont even consider induction just says thats the army for you. I have no friends or family here all of our family is in Ga. We also have a 5 yearold that we're not sure if theyll let in the delivery room its up to the dr oncall when I go into labor. But DEF let him take the job, alaska is awesome and yall wont regret it
  • Jess8D7Jess8D7
    Skype!!! Ill be ur best friend! Hubby n I are both military.. when one of us has training we use it a lot. And communicate.
  • armywife3armywife3
    I agree with @Jess8D7 ...skype has helped us out a lot... my husband is in Afghanistan and won't be home (for good) until Feb. He does get to come home for the birth of the baby (in September),but he's missed every appt. Sometimes I find myself lashing out at him in anger because I'm so upset that he's not here. I often find myself apologizing because I know that if he could be here, he would be and it's not his fault. It's tough, but it will be ok... Just stay positive and try to keep yourself busy ;-)
  • mrsdavismrsdavis
    I just made a post about this yesterday. I am so happy to see that I am not alone. I'm 25 wks pregnant and my husband just left yesterday for his first deployment. Man it is so weird not being able to hear his voice or pick up the phone and call him when I want to. The stupid thing about his deployment is that he doesn't know when he'll be back or if he will get to come home for the birth of our son. I live 3 hrs away from my family and I honestly have no friends, my husband is my only friend. I promised him I would make friends and try to go out and do things but it sucks right now.
  • armywife3armywife3
    edited May 2011
    @miaradavis ...this deployment is our first together. My husband had been in for 11years. Up until he left this time, he was training like crazy so I really didnt get to spend much time with him. His last deployment was when the Iraq war first started. We've been together for 4years and married on 2/11/11...I'm so used to having him here it's depressing. I'm constantly watching the news to see if anything has happened where he is. I keep my circle of friends to a minimum and my closest relatives are in VA (which is 4hrs away from me) so we are in very similar situations. I can't tell you it's going to be easy, you just have to surround yourself with something that keeps you busy. My distraction from the loneliness is shopping. I try to do little things to the house, so when he comes home he can feel comfortable, and appreciated.
  • mrsdavismrsdavis
    @armywife3......I guess we are in the same boat. Only "BIG" difference is that me and hubby are stationed in 2 seperate places which sucks but we do find time to visit one another. When he comes back he will be here with me and our son for good. I told him NO MORE separation, anymore deployments we will do together. As soon as I get his address I plan on sending him a big package full of goodies and a baby book with all the ultrasound pictures so he atleast feels apart of this pregnancy. I plan on moving soon so I know I'm gonna be extremely busy but it's just weird without him.
  • armywife3armywife3
    @miaradavis -I understand....I'm pretty sure everything will get better. If you can make it through this one, then the next one will be a little easier ....Be strong for him....The baby book will definately keep him motivated :)
  • Jess8D7Jess8D7
    @armywife3 @miaradavis I recommend that u don't watch the news... but both hubbies can write snail mail and email..... plus both men technicaly cant say where they will going on the phone. The army is really anal. I didn't really know untill I had my moving orders.
  • Jess8D7Jess8D7
    @armywife3 @miaradavis im here for u ladies... stay pos :)
  • armywife0529armywife0529
    @miaradavis Just a word of advice, don't watch the news. It will only drive you crazy and make you worry even more.

  • armywife0529armywife0529
    My husband is deployed right now and I'm 22 weeks. We don't know if he'll be able to come home for the birth. It's hard not having him here, but he is doing his job and is providing for his family.

    I think he should take the job. You'll miss him, but at least you have family there to help you.
  • mrsdavismrsdavis
    @everyone....thank you for the advice. I am also active duty working a full 8 hr day plus pt! Unfortunately I still stay in these ragedy ass barracks so I have NO cable to watch tv.....3 more wks and I'm outta here! LOL! But I do know how it works with what he can and can't say over phone calls. I would just like to know when he's coming back, once I know that then I will be better. Right now I'm just still in the initial stage of OMG my hubby is gone stage. Thank you mommies so much, it feels soooo good to know I am not alone.
  • armywife3armywife3
    edited May 2011
    I agree with the news thing!!! I know I shouldn't watch, but I just can't help it...smh :-<
  • smcoxsmcox
    It's good to hear from other women going through it. If he takes the job u do have a good support system down here so that's a positive. I was also worried about moving to Alaska... I've pretty much live in Ca most my life and I know Alaska will be very different. It's nice to hear from women who also live in Alaska @cethridge @Oregonmama.
  • smcoxsmcox
    *I have a good support system
  • ladistacksladistacks
    I'm also an army wife. I dnt watch the news, I jus cnt...
    Certain times hav been difficult without him around but the hardest part 4 me is giving birth without him, he wnt be meeting our son till he is about 6 months old. N its our 1st child 2gether. Pregnancy is a wonderful experience but if he's gna be there 4 the delivery that's awesome :)
    Ill also be relocating 2 alaska after my son is born!
  • Chuieycuzca22Chuieycuzca22
    This is my second pregnancy I've gone through solo. Hubby and bd can be a really big buttcrack and thinks about himself and.making money (halfway across the country) leaving me with.our ten year old and currently preggo 16 weeks. All in all though I'm ok. I'm independent and have a great support system with my family. Yeah I'm pissed at his selfishness but I'm not alone by any means. With a good support system, it will be ok. Of course you want your man there but it is doable. Good luck Hon!
  • MandielynneMandielynne
    I think u can do it! My hubby has been working in fl my entire pregnancy...he will only b home for two wks n then he is off to iraq n than qatar for two yrs but its his career n after that we can b a normal family..stay positive n ull be fine..financially it I$ a good move n u will b together in no time :)
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