*update*husband really getting to me..REALLY LONG VENT

edited June 2011 in First time moms
So I had my daughter 3 wks ago via C section. And while it is easier to get around. Im still experiencing a lot of pain. My mom came down last week to help out so I at least wanted to clean a bit before she got there since there was a ton of laundry and dishes piled up to the ceiling. I thought my husband would at least help but he tells me 'dont forget to do all that laundry in there i dont have clean uniforms for work' before he walks out the door.

So here I am taking care of a 3 week old and trying to do a massive amount of housework. Not to mention im running on fumes because i was up all night with the baby 'because he had to get up early'...Then I start to bleed. And do I mean bleeding! I actually start to leak all over the baby's rocking chair in her nursery and on the floor. So I call my husband and all he says is well go lay down. Really? The baby is crying and here I am sitting on the toilet bleeding like a stuck pig. But I let it go.

Then memorial day we go to his parents since they want to see the baby and have a bbq. Well the baby was crying and fussing. after they all passed her around and he and his family all make their plates of food, go outside and eat while im stuck in the house trying to get the baby to quiet down. After I get 1.2 seconds to eat in the kitchen I begin to bleed heavily again and I tell my husband when he gets in. He just asks if we should leave but since he always claims I try to keep him away from his family I say no and we stay there until 7 p.m. when we get home im still bleeding and he goes to sleep as do I and the baby wakes up. Im so tired I don't even wake up and he gripes at me. So later around 4 a.m. our baby wakes up again and I guess I don't get up fast enough so he bitches at me again. So I tell him 'ive had a c section and im still healing!' So he just rolls over covers his ears and leaves me with a crying baby. Then wants to get pissed off when I move away when he starts to cuddle with me when I get back to bed.

I know taking care of a baby is tiring and he works and goes to college full time. I work too(but luckily im on maternity leave ) but I need a little bit of help since none of my family or his live close by. He has helped a lot at the beginning but doesn't seem to understand that while it has been two wks I still had a major surgery. Last week he even had the balls to turn the baby monitor off in our bedroom so he could sleep!



Sorry for the long novel I wrote but its pissing me off

Comments

  • Sorry mama, my bf hasn't helped at all either :( he's so lazy. He doesn't even work either so he has no excuse. He's changed 2 diapers and our baby is 8 days old. I've been packing everything up on top of taking care of a newborn all day and night because we're moving tomorrow and the only thing I've asked is for him to do the laundry, and he hasn't even started it.
  • @hiannaaa wow im sorry for that. My husband does help with the baby from time to time which is great. I just wish he would do more help around the house. He said he was going to do the dishes when I asked him but no he just went to work. Then he gripes at me because im 'doing too much' and when I told him I thought he would understand that doing load after load of heavy wet clothes would cause me to bleed up a storm all he says is 'well how was I supposed to know. You could have just left the laundry there' yeah right and let it stack up even more!
  • edited May 2011
    I didn't have a csection with any of my pregnancies, but I can relate to the hubby not helping. After both of my deliveries I started sleeping on the couch. I got so sick and tired of hearing him bitch about being woken by the baby, I decided that if I was going to listen to noise it would just be the baby's.

    It sucks... He should have read the discharge papers from the hospital. They should have outlined how limited your physical activity should be. Sorry that you're dealing with all this. Guys can be such jerks...
  • Wow! He is being a little insensitive. A lot of men don't understand the emotional and physical stress that we go through after giving birth. Some men feel left out when there's a new addition to the family and become a little jealous because they don't get the attention that they're used to getting. Sounds to me that he may be going through that. Do you all have other children? Have you tried to talk to him to see what the problem is? Also take it easy because one of my sis had a c section, went home working n cleaning and ended up back in the hosp with high blood pressure. Good luck.
  • edited May 2011
    Im really tempted to do that @txmoorekat that just really pissed me off when he turned the monitor off. I couldn't even hear my daughter cry! There's no telling how long she was until I heard it. The nurses did tell me and so did the Dr when I went for my two week check up last Friday and my husband was in the same room both times! But all he says is 'you don't have to do any housework then' but gets mad when I ask him to do it saying how tired he is and how he needs to do this and that. I may stay at home all day since im on maternity leave but there's a lot of things I would like to get done or do too. My mom was such a great help when she was here but she left this morning so now im home alone again since my husband works from 2 pm to 11:00 p.m.

    No this is our only child @dawtalove. I've told him numerous times that im in pain or im bleeding heavily. We have a high bed so it really hurts to get up and hurry across the hall to the nursery at night. Im trying to take it easy but I hate having a dirty house and he uses every pot and pan when he cooks! He says he's too tired but gets upset when I 'dont do anything' I was on bedrest for the last three weeks of my pregnancy due to high blood pressure and I still had to do a lot since he would just leave everything lying around and wouldn't even make meals for me.

    Even today he was like just make yourself one of those tv dinners in there im going to subway for lunch before he walks out the door!!
  • Give him papper cuts while he is sleeping :D
  • edited June 2011
    :p
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