after a miscarriage, advice please

ok so i have very recently had a miscarriage at 10weeks & 1 day, my emotions & hormones are still all over the place & i'm still trying to comes to terms with it all & get my head together. I guess i'd just like to hear from others who have been through the same, advice as to how you managed to deal with it & it would be really nice to hear some positive stories to remind me there is light at the end of the tunnel

Comments

  • I don't think you really ever get over it you just learn to deal with it. I just surrounded myself with people I love and stayed busy. Had u already had an ultrasound?
  • I had one in June 2010 I totally understand what your going through and I am so sorry you have to go through this. My experience was horrible I didn't leave the house for that whole month I didn't want to see anyone besides my hubby and mom. I isolated myself from everyone but my mom who is very religious talked me into going to church on with her and I thank god I did because it really helped me get through that and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. At first I told myself I didn't want to try again. But I just put it in gods hands and here I am pregnant and I just pray that everything goes ok. And what also helped me was talking to people that have gone through the same thing and now have healthy kids. Don't give up we will never understand why things happen but do know god has a plan for all of us. You will see light at the end of the tunnel:)
  • I had a miscarriage at 10 wks too. The baby wad only developed to 6 wks though. That happened june 2010. Never really had a chance to.mourn because im active duty and I work in a.clinic so its always go go go. I got three day's off of work but it was so hard for me. Especially when a pregnancy test came in or if I saw a.pregnant woman. I talked a lot to a friend of mine who had gone through three miscarriages and she would really listen to me and offer advice. Im very.grateful to have had her around. I also talked to support groups online which helped alot too. But I was still pretty depressed. I cried a lot and wouldn't talk to.anyone or let me husband near me for a few days even though I know he was hurt too. I just shut myself off from the world. We started trying again in August and we got pregnant again. Even though im very happy and blessed for the baby on the way I still cry a lot about the miscarriage so I guess im not fully over the loss. It does get better but don't shut yourself away like I did. Talk to.people about it because it does help. I know a lot of churches have support groups for pregnancy loss so I would look into those. But I wish you the best of luck in everything and I will say a little prayer for you tonight
  • I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and 4 days back on the 31st october when I was ment to be out with my kids for halloween last year yo never get ova it but like other people have said it just gets easyer I think about it everyday but I am now 8 weeks pregnant I kinda think that at least I can have kids I am so sorry that this has happened to yo but I promise it does get easyer x
  • I had a miscarriage in June 2009. I have Juvenile Diabetes, so my pregnancies are high risk.
    -Everyone was so happy I was pregnant with number two but I knew something wasn't right... I missed my first OB appointment because of miscommunication of the location of my new OB had moved to so I had to reschedule for 2 in a half weeks later.
    When I got my ultrasound, before they even thought of telling me, I knew the baby had died. I was almost 9 weeks and the baby had died around 5 1/2 weeks. I knew it, I felt it, before I actually miscarried the fetus. It was tough and very heartbreaking. But another baby at that time just wasn't meant to be, obviously. Everything happens for a reason, or so I keep getting told.
    He or she would be turning one year old today.
  • @bwhite55019 so sorry you have also miscarried, no i hadnt had a u/s, had 1 booked for when i was 12 weeks (i'm in the uk & thats generally when they're first offered here) when i went to hospital with bleeding & cramps they arranged a scan for the following day but i misscarried that night so i never got to see my baby, u/s just confirmed what i knew, have been told had incomplete miscarriage & got to go back next monday to check has completed. In a way i'm glad i never got to see my baby as i think that would be so much harder.

    To @Cali83 @kayleigh27 @momofmany79 thanks for your comments & support, sorry you have also been through similar & congratulations on your current pregnancies, it does give me hope. I am lucky to have support of a brilliant partner, family & friends & do know when/if the time is right it will happen xx
  • @lovemyboys I had the same thing happen to me. At 8 wks they scheduled an ultrasound but before they even put the scanner on me I knew something was wrong. Like I shouldn't have been there. It was an awful feeling. And to see an empty sac was worse. I had to wait for two whole weeks until I finally miscarried the pregnancy. I don't even know how I even made it at.work knowing that I might start bleeding any minute
  • @ willothewisp
    im so sorry to hear of your loss. heres my story.
    I got engaged in july 2010. We said we'd wait till after the wedding to start trying (wedding set for october). Well sept i found out i was prego, even tho it wasnt great timing i was excited. 2 days b4 we left for our vegas wedding i had my first dr appt and ultrasound. The next day i found out it was a blighted ovum (just an empty sac). I was packing for my wedding weekend at the time. I wasnt able to really grieve for my loss. I had to focus on the joy instead of the pain. It was difficult to try and not think of it. I cried on the drive to vegas and on the way back, but did manage to hold myself together the rest of the time. I told myself everything happens for a reason, even if i didnt know what the reason was at the time.

    I have a 13 yr old, from another relationship. He was very upset about the preg. He even cried at school about it. He kept saying i was not going to pay attention to him anymore. Well when i told him there wasnt going to b a baby, that i was gonna lose it, he was upset. He hung his head down & said "i guess u never really know what u have till its gone". It was so sweet it made me cry.

    Now im 10 weeks prego and he's so excited. He asked if he could come with me to one of my ultrasounds. When he kisses me goodbye in the morning he touches my belly & tells the baby goodbye. It's so sweet and im thankful that i got this "silver lining" to my dark cloud.
  • That is the worst feeling you will ever have :( I miscarried in June 2010 and my sisters and i were each due 2 days apart.. now just a week ago they both had there babies and even though I'm pregnant now,the months that went by til I did get pregnant again were so sad.. the best thing that helped me really was conceiving again.. then honestly it will mean everything to you.. but in the moment it all feels so unfair and wrong..
  • well how i got threw mine was my 6 year old daughter said this to me....Mommy just think of it as it was to beautiful for this earth.. .and u will always have me...Big ups to her cause her words helped.....and every night she prays for the baby now...
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • I've had several miscarriages due to low progesterone levels, some only months apart. Each time it was like someone reached inside me and tore out my heart. I still think about those babies, but i know now that the losses just made me stronger, i have had one successful pregnancy since then, she's two, and a couple more losses. Im preggers again, 22 weeks. I just keep telling myself that those babies didn't really belong to me, they belonged to God, and He needed them with Him more than i needed them.
  • I had one in Nov09 and it was really hard because it was the first time I experienced it I was spotting the whole time I was pregnant and the one night I was about 11 weeks I just had a bad feeling and ended up goin to the er they did dome blood tests and then the sonagram and thats when I seen the baby but there was no heartbeat that was one of the toughest nights of my life that I had to face alone I wouldn't wish that type of pain on anyone but I had my man and my daughter to keep me hopeful I also went on a drinking binge for awhile but I waited a year and a half to b sure I healed and god has blessed me I am 27 weeks pregnant with my second girl just keep ur head up and stay hopeful everything happens for a reason when the time is right u will b blessed again hope my story helped
  • @Mama_Kat
    Thanks, sounds like you really had a hard time, so glad u have a little one the way. Amazing how much the pain eased once i was pregnant again. Congrats.
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • First off...iam sooo sorry about yur loss && i hope things get betta fa yu. My bf && i were togetha not even a month when i found out i wuz prego. (may 2010) he wuz estatic..i wuz too til da mornin sickness..constipation etc came. Lol. Any hoo...@ dat time my son wuz 9 months && i found things very difficult to deal w l..skool..my son...living w l my mom. Craziness!! I began cramping on && off fa about 3wks. Da nxt week i had a miscarraige && my dr said it wuz too much stress on the body. I wuz devestated. I wuz almost 16wks. :(. I broke the news to my bf && it broke his heart. </3...i cried && cried. I went to close friends for comfort. My bf didnt like discussing the situation which made things hard. Da end of september my bf askd if i wanted to try again. We tried && tried && tried...nothin. I wuz jus gona give up...den in november i found myself very moody, hungry, tired..etc. Then wat do ya kno?! Missd period...took a preg test...POSITIVE!! iam now almost 16 wks pregnant && this time my bf is ALOT more understanding of wat i go thru && helps me alot so theres not so much on my plate. I kno its hard && the thought of bein pregnant && possibly losing another bby hurts ti da deepest depths of yur heart but wheneva yur ready...try again. God will give yu a precious bundle of joy when he feels the time is right...blessings come to those who wait..yes its tru...but it definitely doesnt hurt to try.!! Gud luck mama && i hope things work. Yu r in my prayers!!0
  • Thank you all so much for sharing what are obviously awful, painful, sad memories, most have made me cry but at the same time brought home to me that i am by no means alone in what i've gone through & there is most definately hope, not just for me but for all who are misfortunate enough to go through this, thank you again xxx
Sign In or Register to comment.