Here we go with my physco mil again..

second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
edited June 2011 in Just for Fun
I feel like there should be a ready to choke someone category!!! So my mom and mil are planning my baby shower together... why I thought this would be a good idea I don't know. So some of you may remember so of the other problems I've had with my mil if not I'm sure they are still on my page if you would like to read them... so anyways we agreed to have the baby shower at my house since it is the only house big enough to hold everyone, so I'm not making trips to get all the stuff from either familys town and since its an hour drive for both families. So my mom and my mil start planning well my mil tells my mom she has family that CAN'T make it to my house that they have to have the shower where she lives... well my mom doesn't know any better so she agrees to make our family drive to where his family is. So my mom tells me this and obviously I'm pist because I know my mil is just being the vindictive bitch that she is. So she gives my mom the addresses for hubbys family and its 7 people that I personally know would never complain about driving an hour. Well my moms invite list is close to 40 people and now my mom is upset and trying to not let me see it but I do and I am pist. I really want to say something to his mom and tell her f off we are having it at my house as originally planned but my husband and I have been getting along great and I know me "hurting her feelings" again will just cause problems but I feel like I need to stand up for my mom and family too. She thinks she can take advantage of my family because they dont know the vindictive bitch I know. I just don't know what to do my mom says she's fine let it go but I can tell it bothers her and I just feel like she has treated my badly since I met hubby and now she is going it to my family. What would you do?

Comments

  • Jess8D7Jess8D7
    Tell ur mom to grow a backbone! And say hellz no to MIL. Have it at ur house. Its ur baby, not hers... and ur house is larger. Y make ur family drive an extra hour out of their way when most would be more comfortable in ur house... that's what I would do. I planned my shower..
  • kenzie0713kenzie0713
    I would put my foot down and say no exceptions being made for either side and if people can't make it so sorry and have it at your house. U must stand up to her...trust me I have a mil from hell, I've posted in the past ab her
  • MybabeMybabe
    I would absolutely say something without a doubt the shower is about you anyway... 7 people can hop in 2 cars and be to your house shortly...I would let her know that you don't need to be on the highway because your pregnant and you are keeping it as planned... if she is unhappy plan your own and just have your mom help you!!!
  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    @jess8d7 my mom is a very outspoken person but knows what happens if anyone pisses of mil because it hurts my hubby and my mom loves hubby like her own. She is pretending like it doesn't bother her that mil is doing this but I know it is. I think I may talk to my hubby about it tonight and see what he has to say but I am just so pissed at the situation because my family doesn't just expect people to be lying assholes. I wish I would have just done my own.
  • Jess8D7Jess8D7
    @second_time_mommy7 well work with both of them... there's no need for stress.. and just ask if u can help now.. this will put some ease to rest. But I still would recommend u have ur baby shower at ur place... I love my MIL, but I wouldnt handle that...
  • mrs_shumrs_shu
    If the invites haven't gone out yet, keep your address on it. And when hubby or crapburger mil say anything remind them after much consideration your house is the only place big enough for everyone to be comfortable
  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    @mrs_shu his mother is now wanting to rent some place.
  • mrs_shumrs_shu
    Then id say pick your battles and let this one go. I watched a movie last night and it was cheesy and different life situation but they kept repeating a phrase "our marriage,their wedding" let her 'win' the shower and she can 'lose' when it comes to the birth/hospital visit/notified stuff ;)
  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    @Mrs_shu I have thought about that so much our whole marriage and pregnancy... my husband would never let that happen he tried to tell me she should be in the room while I'm giving birth because my mom will be. Umm not.
  • mrs_shumrs_shu
    Ugh!! Can you move 5 states away(or even the other side?) And get a small enough place she can't visit?
  • Mommyof4girlsMommyof4girls
    I would not let her stressfulness be anywhere near me during delivery! Tell hubby as much as you want peace his mom is being unfair. That the shower is going to be at your house and he needs to back up his wife. Tell your mom to feel free to take a stand and since it's your shower you can decide where you want it. She just the party on her stomping grounds so she can be a b**** and it's her house. That's my opinion.
  • SteenySteeny
    40 people is far more then 7 so I.would just say sorry but the 7 people.wont be atteneding my baby shower. You can make some.excuse to have it at your house like you can't be in the car that long or something and have it at your house. Then your mom who is probably just trying to be nice doesn't have to be the mean one
  • Mommie_McAteeMommie_McAtee
    I say have two separate showers! Thats what I'm doing! I dont want my boyfriends folks around my family being fake!
  • lilbit01_209lilbit01_209
    Vote for Seperate! Let her have her 7 people and you and your hubby go there and you and your mom do your families/friends where you want. Its YOUR shower. Tell your hubby if he wants to whine about his mother not being in the delivery room then HE can wait out there with her also. But then Im hormonal and b!tchy and dont always watch what I say... :D
  • mya218mya218
    I hate that you're going through that right now. I went thru something similar when I was planning my wedding. I'm from GA and most of my family is from GA and FL. Hubby's mom wanted to change the wedding to NC (where she lives) so her family in New York didn't have to travel all the way to GA. It was only 3-4 of them, and about 75+ of my family and friends! THEN she started trying to change my colors! Needless to say, I called the wedding off, hubby and I got married by the Justice of the Peace (just me & him), and we will celebrate our 6th anniversary this August. MIL is STILL a pain at times, but I've learned how to tolerate her.

    All that to say: pick your battles. If you really feel strongly about this, stand up to your MIL. Otherwise, she's going to keep trying to run over you in the future because she thinks you don't have the guts to tell her no. Keep us posted! Hope things go your way! :)
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  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    I talked to my mom and told her I was telling mil that we will have it at my house as planned. My mom said just let her go and she will only have a few of my close family members come to mil's and will have one for the rest of my family the following weekend. I still feel like she is being a push over and I can't stand the thought of my mil even thinking she is getting her way. What do you ladies think should I still say something to mil or let it go and listen to my mom?
  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    @lilbit01_209 oh trust me I shut that down... actually I think those may have been my exact words to hubby. It's like he fakes relationships... he wants so badly for his mom and I to get along he pretends things are ok to feel better. Poor guy, I have tried everything including being the push over and nothing has worked I just don't think she will ever change... smh
  • mommabee13mommabee13
    I would just say that your sticking to the original plan. End of argument
  • wiseccourtwiseccourt
    Have the invites been sent out? If not then just putt your address if ur mil has a problem then she doesnt need to come
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