we wanna get married but...

agoadagoad
edited February 2011 in Pregnant
My boyfriend and I have been together just over 6 months, and as of Wednesday we will be 14 weeks into the pregnancy (a first for both of us). We really want to get married because we love eachother and its the right thing to do... but my parents swear we will be making a huge mistake because of it being the wrong reasons... any advice?

Comments

  • lily_glzlily_glz
    I say give yourselves more time like 6 months after baby... you'll be amazed how things change. Like if you weren't pregnant would y'all still be getting married right now?? If not then don't do it. Give it more time I'm sure you guys love eachother but a baby will turn yalls world upside down! Just wait it out for now. How old are you guys? I'm saying bc I made the same choice and I regretted it that's why I'm divorced now
  • Maranda3Maranda3
    Is the reason you wanna get married because of your love for each other? If so, I can't imagine a better reason. If you want to get married because you live each other AND because your pregnant you just need to remember the real reason behind your marriage. If you have ANY doubts you should wait until after you deliver and you're without pregnancy induced hormones to make your decision. Marriage is a life long commitment to me, so my advice would be to follow your heart, and mind and only make your decision with both agree. :)
  • agoadagoad
    I'm 20 and he just turned 24. And we were talkin about it before the baby even came along. We understand it changes a million things, and we are both also very prepared to fight through anything we have to to make things work.
  • lilpeapod913lilpeapod913
    I'm in the opposite position. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and I am 10 weeks today. We love each other so much and he is the one, but we are waiting til after the baby is here for a few reasons. Number one, we are in the process of buying a house and moving in together and creating a family with him and his daughter (2.5) as well as adding our own addition in just 30 weeks. That is a few huge adjustments by themselves so adding a wedding to the mix right now will just be too much. I also want to plan it and have it be its own special time. My Mon was pressuring me at first until I explained to her how we owe it to our child to try to be together forever and rushing into home ownership, steo-parenting, co-parenting, and marriage all at one time is not the best way to do that. I can't wait to get married he is everything to me!
  • katlillykatlilly
    I was 20 when I got married to my EX. I would underline EX if I could lol. Our daughter was 4 months old then. We lasted married 4 years. It was awful. I thought I was doing the right thing. I'm not saying that the 2 of you don't love each other and wont last. I'm just telling you my story. We loved each other too, I think. It was just a big mess...
  • agoadagoad
    We have actually been livin together pretty much since the start, and on the 3rd we close on our house. We are very excited about everything. And I guess the biggest thing is making my parents madder than they were when I moved away, and him and I moved in together, and then shortly after had to inform them I was pregnant... the first thing they said was don't come home in a few weeks and tell us your getting married, or you already are....
  • jessi11jessi11
    Me and my fiance want to get married but not before the baby is born cuz there are so many reason why we picked after the baby is born. We would like our little one to be apart of the wedding and people can change after having kids together. And we don't want to get married just cuz we are having a kid together.so if you get engaged that's great but wait until the baby is here. Cuz things can change.
  • bwhite55019bwhite55019
    My husband and I got married about a year and a half ago we had been together for 5 years and loved each other very much but when we got married and moved in together it has been the hardest times of our relationship after a year and a half we found out we are going to have a baby and no doubt has it not gotten harder worrying about affording a baby. I know everyone can give u advice but u r going to follow your heart just like the rest of us did. Good luck and I wish u the best
  • agoadagoad
    Awe. Thanks girl
  • tjscrdtjscrd
    edited February 2011
    I'm in a similarish situation. 6 months. Expecting a first child for both of us. We've been staying and living together literally since the day we met last summer. Difference is his mom wants us to get married. She's very religious and says we HAVE to now that we're expecting. So he popped the question. I know I want to be with him forever. And I know he wants to be with me forever. He wouldn't have asked, even if his mom recommended it, if he really wasen't sure. He's older than me, and has never been that commited. He always told me he's never found the right girl and when he does that she'll be the first and only he ever propses to. He's casually mentioned marriage a few times even before I found out I was pregnant, so I knew it was bound to happen eventually. But the only reason he asked so soon was because of the baby. And I was never the person who dreamed of getting married. I'm probably the only girl who's literally never fantasized about that perfect wedding and proposal. But I know I want to be with him forever, and I'll definantly take that step..someday. but I know that right now, the baby is a huge pressuring factor. I don't want it to be an obligation like his mom's making it seem. I want it to be completely for love kind of thing.. I don't know if I make much sense. I feel in a pickle as well. :p
  • agoadagoad
    Lol. I have never dreamed of the big wedding and all that either. So we have pretty much decided that if we do get married it'll be at the courthouse, and then next year we will try to plan something. (: its just stressfull trying to decide who to make happy me and him.. or my parents...
  • tjscrdtjscrd
    I'd be rolling with courthouse style as well. :p Then later perhaps a traditional native american wedding. I refuse the all white in a church wedding. As for your situation. Make you and him happy. Your parents will come to accept it. As long as you're happy.
  • agoadagoad
    True, and what he keeps telling me too! (:
  • debsdebs
    I would say to wait till after the baby is born its such a stressful time and a lot going on while being pregnant. I moved in with my husband with only dating him for two months and just about yr later found out we were pregnant. We wanted to get married but decided to wait till after our daughter was born we got married when she was 6 months I love that she got to be there with us. Our family was all for us getting married we have almost been together for four years and on our 3rd pregnancy. You two love each other and want to be married what's going to change in a few months why not just wait a lil
  • lilpeapod913lilpeapod913
    @Debs aww!! I hope my love story follows in your footsteps :)
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  • JwigsJwigs
    We've been together for 3 years and now we have finally set a date. June 4. I will be 5 months pregnant. Can I just say that planning a wedding sucks? It's fun and all, but I get so frustrated and tired. Thank god my mom is so excited, supportive, and helpful. But still. Blah.
  • JwigsJwigs
    nno, 6 months pregnant!
  • babymaxisonthewaybabymaxisontheway
    Imo if you guys were talking about marriage before the baby and you really truley deeply feel that he's the one and you love each then go for it! But I would stick to the courthouse or Mary something really small with family and a few friend just don't let it stree you out if. You do a small wedding. Even though our wedding was small it was still prety stressfull. Good luck and congrats on the baby!
  • FirstTimeDaddyFirstTimeDaddy
    I agree w @lilpeapod913 im also stoppin into the step father situation w my girls son. n we r livin together. n gonna raise our child. n b a fam. but wont get married untill we know its what we want not just what is supposed to happen when u get pregnant. but if u guys r ready for it then go for it n hope for the best for u guys (:
  • snredasnreda
    II Only knew my husband a month before we got pregnant. married before the baby came. Now 5 years later and on number 3 it was the best decision we made. We grew together and love life together!
  • VictoriaBVictoriaB
    I married my husband 2 months after we started dating. Nobody wanted us to get married except the people who saw us together all the time (mostly other coworkers. My hubby was my manager). I even lost my two best friends cuz they didn't want us to get married so fast. After it happened, everyone sees how happy we are together (I don't care about those two "friends" anymore btw. They weren't real friends). We found out that we're having a baby two months after we got married. Now I'm 2 months and couldn't be happier. I really like the idea of waiting until the baby can participate in the wedding. Sounds so cute! My family is insisting that I redo my wedding, so maybe I'll do that too :) In your situation, I'd wait until after the baby is born. You'll have an easier time finding a wedding dress and planning ;) Good luck either way you do it!
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    Ive said this on a similar post, but my bf wanted to get married when we found out we were pregnant. I love him very much, but i want MY wedding day to be about ME. I don't want to worry about the stress of planning a wedding and having a baby. I want to be able to have a drink (alcoholic that is) during all the toasts. I want to dance the night away, without my feet swelling to twice their size.
    If he loves you before, he'll love you after.
    :x
  • mz_sandersmz_sanders
    Yeah me and my bf use 2 talk about getting married b4 I had r kids now he is such a lazy ass sob that I told him I would never marry him we been together 4 3 and a half years hes hasnt gotten any better and I keep telling him if he doesnt change im going 2 take my kids and leave.
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