Sister-in-Law VENT!!! *longggg*
I recently just moved back to Texas with my husband and son and we bought a really nice home with a swimming pool and I am so happy to be home close to my family! 
Well the problems all started when my husbands sister heard we were home and she started calling me and telling me all her issues and wanted our help. I am all for helping family, I would give the shirt off my back to help someone even if I have nothing, but I am also not someone that will be walked all over. So she was telling us how she quite nursing school and is pioneering (which is where Jehovah's Witnesses go around trying to spread Jehovah's word in their communities trying to convert people.) That is all well and good, but you make no money doing this and from what I understand you have to pioneer a certain number of hours a weeks and its like a job except no pay check. So she is complaining that she has no money and is getting kicked out of her friends house and has no car and is hungry and all this.
My main problem with her is that she is following a cycle that she continues to fall into. She graduated high school when she was 17 and is now almost 25 and she constantly is enrolling in school and dropping out and enrolling and quitting since she was 17! When she quits she falls back on pioneering and I do believe people fall onto religion in rough times in their lives and I am not bashing in any kind of way her religion or what she believes, but when will you learn that you are a grown ass women and you have to provide for yourself?! She is constantly relying on others to save her when she decides she doesn't want to finish school or she gets board and this is ridiculous to me, if you have been taking nursing classes that long and still get board maybe this is not the career for you!?!! So anyways, my husband and I talked and said we would let her come stay but there would be clear ground rules and she could only stay until she got on her feet, in a reasonable amount of time. We get along, but she really annoys the crap out of me when she does certain things and I can't help but confront her so she doesn't think she can keep doing it. Our rules consisted of you have to keep your space clean and tidy (she is super junky and just throws her clothes all over, my hubby is kind of OCD so our house is always spotless), you have to help pay for groceries if you want to eat with the family (this is something we had to add because I would go shopping and she would sit around and eat everything up and not ask or offer to even chip in a few dollars.) Also, that she would not push her religion on our child, we are Catholics and I can respect her beliefs but I want my child to be raised the way we want (she is kind of pushy!) The last big rule was that when she did get on her feet she would have to chip in money to stay, not much since she just has a room, but she needs to understand you cant live anywhere for free, since she has never had to pay rent before
I took her to a school so she could enroll and so she did I told her maybe she should just finish up core classes and then choose a major since nursing has not been working for her. Well she ignored that and enrolled in nursing classes again! So she has been going to school and got a CNA job and seems to be on the right track. Well she got her refund from school and a few paychecks and I reminded her what we said about rent and she wanted to cop an attitude. Now, we don't need her money to make the house payment but it is the principle that she can not live with us for free. You are a 25 year old women and you need to take responsibility for your obligations. So I tell her just pay $200 a month and that will include your room, food, internet, cable, utilities, which is very reasonable I think considering you cant live anywhere for that cheap and she uses all those things excessively.
So the other day I was cleaning up around the house and I went into her room to give her a new bedding set and her room was disgusting! There were dishes all over and clean clothes flung everywhere along with dirty ones and little grocery bags of trash all over. WTF, her room smelled so nasty!! So i left and just shut the door, when she came home I confronted her and wasn't mean but I was like you need to clean that room up it is nasty and as a women you should be embarrassed to be living in squalor like that. She wanted to pop off about how dare I even go in HER room?! And that we are raising our son wrong because we are Catholic and how she doesn't owe us shit. First off this is MY HOUSE and you haven't given me a goddamn cent to pay your way, you are taking advantage of the situation and you have the audacity to say YOUR room and criticize my parenting!!!! HELL NO I could have just snatched the weave right out of her bald little head. so I had to go off on her, I was pushed over the edge. So I had to get crunk with her to let her know shes not about to talk to me like that in my home! So I told her she needs to clean up that nasty ass room, she needs to buy her own damn food, she needs to keep her ass a job and in school and get the F out of our home, I'm tired of running to her rescue every time she needs something and getting nothing but disrespect in the end. I am not a selfish or rude, she needed a place to stay I gave it to her, in the past she needed money we sent it to her, shes needed clothes i gave her money for them. After all the stuff I have done for her, all she can do is talk shit about my family and child and this and that. Well I am almost 21 and my husband is 23 and we have our life together. We have graduated college, we have a home, cars, a family. I am not trying to compete with her but can't she see the position she keeps getting herself in and that we are younger than her and have it figured out?!!! What can I do?!! I will feel really bad if we put her out but I need her to just be a women and clean up after herself she should be so nasty! UGHHHH! Does anyone have any advice as how I can talk to this short tempered loud mouth women and get her to understand I am not trying to be mean but she needs to pitch in a little.
Well the problems all started when my husbands sister heard we were home and she started calling me and telling me all her issues and wanted our help. I am all for helping family, I would give the shirt off my back to help someone even if I have nothing, but I am also not someone that will be walked all over. So she was telling us how she quite nursing school and is pioneering (which is where Jehovah's Witnesses go around trying to spread Jehovah's word in their communities trying to convert people.) That is all well and good, but you make no money doing this and from what I understand you have to pioneer a certain number of hours a weeks and its like a job except no pay check. So she is complaining that she has no money and is getting kicked out of her friends house and has no car and is hungry and all this.
My main problem with her is that she is following a cycle that she continues to fall into. She graduated high school when she was 17 and is now almost 25 and she constantly is enrolling in school and dropping out and enrolling and quitting since she was 17! When she quits she falls back on pioneering and I do believe people fall onto religion in rough times in their lives and I am not bashing in any kind of way her religion or what she believes, but when will you learn that you are a grown ass women and you have to provide for yourself?! She is constantly relying on others to save her when she decides she doesn't want to finish school or she gets board and this is ridiculous to me, if you have been taking nursing classes that long and still get board maybe this is not the career for you!?!! So anyways, my husband and I talked and said we would let her come stay but there would be clear ground rules and she could only stay until she got on her feet, in a reasonable amount of time. We get along, but she really annoys the crap out of me when she does certain things and I can't help but confront her so she doesn't think she can keep doing it. Our rules consisted of you have to keep your space clean and tidy (she is super junky and just throws her clothes all over, my hubby is kind of OCD so our house is always spotless), you have to help pay for groceries if you want to eat with the family (this is something we had to add because I would go shopping and she would sit around and eat everything up and not ask or offer to even chip in a few dollars.) Also, that she would not push her religion on our child, we are Catholics and I can respect her beliefs but I want my child to be raised the way we want (she is kind of pushy!) The last big rule was that when she did get on her feet she would have to chip in money to stay, not much since she just has a room, but she needs to understand you cant live anywhere for free, since she has never had to pay rent before
I took her to a school so she could enroll and so she did I told her maybe she should just finish up core classes and then choose a major since nursing has not been working for her. Well she ignored that and enrolled in nursing classes again! So she has been going to school and got a CNA job and seems to be on the right track. Well she got her refund from school and a few paychecks and I reminded her what we said about rent and she wanted to cop an attitude. Now, we don't need her money to make the house payment but it is the principle that she can not live with us for free. You are a 25 year old women and you need to take responsibility for your obligations. So I tell her just pay $200 a month and that will include your room, food, internet, cable, utilities, which is very reasonable I think considering you cant live anywhere for that cheap and she uses all those things excessively.
So the other day I was cleaning up around the house and I went into her room to give her a new bedding set and her room was disgusting! There were dishes all over and clean clothes flung everywhere along with dirty ones and little grocery bags of trash all over. WTF, her room smelled so nasty!! So i left and just shut the door, when she came home I confronted her and wasn't mean but I was like you need to clean that room up it is nasty and as a women you should be embarrassed to be living in squalor like that. She wanted to pop off about how dare I even go in HER room?! And that we are raising our son wrong because we are Catholic and how she doesn't owe us shit. First off this is MY HOUSE and you haven't given me a goddamn cent to pay your way, you are taking advantage of the situation and you have the audacity to say YOUR room and criticize my parenting!!!! HELL NO I could have just snatched the weave right out of her bald little head. so I had to go off on her, I was pushed over the edge. So I had to get crunk with her to let her know shes not about to talk to me like that in my home! So I told her she needs to clean up that nasty ass room, she needs to buy her own damn food, she needs to keep her ass a job and in school and get the F out of our home, I'm tired of running to her rescue every time she needs something and getting nothing but disrespect in the end. I am not a selfish or rude, she needed a place to stay I gave it to her, in the past she needed money we sent it to her, shes needed clothes i gave her money for them. After all the stuff I have done for her, all she can do is talk shit about my family and child and this and that. Well I am almost 21 and my husband is 23 and we have our life together. We have graduated college, we have a home, cars, a family. I am not trying to compete with her but can't she see the position she keeps getting herself in and that we are younger than her and have it figured out?!!! What can I do?!! I will feel really bad if we put her out but I need her to just be a women and clean up after herself she should be so nasty! UGHHHH! Does anyone have any advice as how I can talk to this short tempered loud mouth women and get her to understand I am not trying to be mean but she needs to pitch in a little.
Comments
@alymaries That is true, but idk I feel bad even though she has treated us horrible. I get it from my dad he was such a good man and I just cant help but want to help out family but I am pregnant and dont need her B.S. He wanted her gone in the first five minutes she was here lol.
I had a similar situation when I let my brother and his girlfriend live with me while my husband was deployed. I told them that they had to pay $500 a month that would include their rent, internet, utilities and cable. I also told them that they had to clean up after themselves, and there was to be NO DRUG use or smoking in my home! Well they barely ever paid rent (even tho they both had good jobs) and I caught them getting high in my livingroom, and found out they were smoking in their room! They basically broke every rule we laid down! And when I confronted them about it, they said that they shouldnt have to pay rent because they were family and we were getting extra pay while my husband was in Iraq so we didnt need their money. And when I said something about the weed and smoking they just laughed and said they were adults! Well you better believe that I kicked their asses out! And my brother didnt talk to me for a good 6 months but then he grew up and realized I had ever right to do it! O and did I mention that while they lived with me, they stopped paying their car payment their shit got repossessed and he would drive my car with out even asking all the time! Ugh it was a nightmare!
I can stand up for myself I just hate seeing people suffering!!! AH! Omg That is ridiculous, I am glad she doesn't have a drug problem and none of us drink or smoke, but being junky and dirty is as bad as doing crack in our house lol ok maybe not crack but its just unacceptable! I can fight and argue with her all day now I just need to find my balls to kick her ass outttt!!
@ExcitedForOctober I know sorry! lol
See in our situation we are the ones everyone comes too even though we are the youngest ones and it gets annoying. I am a very family oriented person and if I have, I will give but I don't like getting taken advantage of like she is doing. We have worked hard for what we have and where we are and I get tired of socializing with people that are dragging us down! I'm Not trying to be snobby or anything because I am nowhere close to that, but its hard trying to work a professional job and having friends that are successful and I come home to a lazy B that wants to disrespect me!!
@gabbyc ugh they are!! I was happy I don't have a mother in law, but she seems to be filling the bitch place of one
And I mean asap. Lol.
@angieahrens She is so ignorant she probably would do something like that!! *goes to hide all valuables*
Oh hell no I would have ripped his heart out with my bare hands lol.
She better not do me like that though. If she does I will find out where she lives break into her damn house and bleach all her clothes then I will call her job and ask to leave her a message at the front desk saying her delivery of Cocaine is here from Columbia and she needs to pick it up on her lunch break. lol
I carry myself like a mature adult but I am not afraid to revert to ghetto and beat that ass if she messes with my house.