So, This Is What It's Come To... (Long, Sorry) **UPDATED AS OF 6/16**

edited June 2011 in Just for Fun
Tomorrow, my fiance' and I are going on a hunt for a food bank/church that will give us food. Sounds just wonderful, right? I can't believe I'm even having to consider doing this. Just last November, my fiance' had a well-paying job, we were doing perfectly fine, and planning our family. BOOM! 2 weeks before we found out we were expecting, he got laid off. He started working at Best Buy not even a week after that, but Best Buy didn't come near to what he was making before. We managed, though. Cut out all of our unnessesary bills, and moved in with his parents so we didn't have to pay rent until we could manage to get on our feet again. Then, we decided to move with my parents, because there's more jobs around here than there were around his parents, so he put in a transfer with the Best Buy he originally worked for to the store here. EVERYTHING WAS GOOD TO GO! WE CHECKED, DOUBLE CHECKED, AND TRIPLE CHECKED THAT HE WOULD BE SET TO WORK WHEN WE GOT HERE! Ha! My fiance' has been calling them for over a month, and is JUST learning that the store manager that okayed the transfer isn't even employed there anymore! After a week of nothing from Best Buy, he was out the house at 9am every morning Monday- Friday applying EVERYWHERE! Now, he has 2 jobs lined up, we're just waiting on his backround checks to come through. It's good news, BUT we're out of money, and my mom will only help so much. I do get WIC, and we applyed for food stamps, but since the whole thing with employment at Best Buy, we've yet to be approved or denyed (they have until the 16th of this month until their 30 days is up, and they HAVE to tell us something). My mom doesn't keep food in the house. She goes to the store every day after work to buy dinner for the night. And, as far as my WIC, my younger sister gets to it long before I do, but storing it in our bedroom, or hiding it from her is totally out of the question, because it would cause nothing but a huge arguement with my mom, and that's the LAST thing we need. As of now, I eat once a day and my fiance' goes without every other day, so I can eat. I try to hide the stomach aches and everything else that comes with not eating like I'm supposed to, because I don't want people to see "the girl who's pregnant, and can't even feed herself". I guess I just finally had enough, and needed to vent. Sorry so long.
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  • I'm so sorry hun :-( maybe you should put half the wic stuff in your room so your sister can't eat it all...there should be a food shelf that will help out a prego...have you tried asking someone at wic for local resources? My friend was on wic when her hubby got laid off and they gave her a whole list of resources for food, daycare, and even a free carseat! She also got a bunch of food in exchange for a few hours of helping out at a distribution center. not sure where you live but there should be help somewhere. Government center might also be a place to check for resources...you BOTH need to eat! Good luck to you guys!!
  • Try looking for angel food ministries..they have them all over and for $30(max) you can get food/meals..I'm talking like an actual chicken not just 4breasts. They have monthly menus you can pick from and different packages. While it may not help you today, its something to look into. Also do you have a dollar store in your area that also has food?
  • Honestly, food banks were designed to help out people who are down on their luck. That's all you are! Your hubby busts his butt searching for work, you cut the unnecessary bills, and still need a little help. No shame at all. Search for food banks in your area or if u don't have internet access, tell me your town and I will search for you! Do not go without food! Your little bun in the oven doesn't deserve that! I applaud you and hubby for trying so hard and doing all the right things. There is zero shame in getting some food when you are in this situation. In fact, there are people whose whole ministry in life is being able to help people exactly in your situation. In a way, you are helping them fulfill their ministry by asking for the help you deserve. Keep your head up! With such level heads and a hard working spouse, you two will be back on your feet in no time.
  • Where do you live?
  • Thanks @praying4our3rd I never saw a dollar store with food until we moved back north and I was like omg does everyone else know about this?? Even weeks we may not be struggling we still shoot to the dollar store for things and always hubbys drinks for work!
  • @angieahrens: I've found a few local food banks, and one or two churches in my area that I'm going to call today, and Monday if need be. And, the whole food stamp situation is ridiculous. I don't qualify, because the minimal age to receive assistance here is 25. Now, my fiance' fits that critiria, but he can't claim me on his food stamps, because if he does, we risk messing up the only income we have at the moment, which is my SSI. It's just all around a tough situation, but we'll figure out a way to pull through.

    @Mnbaby3: I didn't know I could find something like that at the WIC office, but I'll definately be calling them in a couple of hours to find out what kind of info they have. There's not very many places around here willing to help folks out, but the few that they do have are lifesavers. I'm definately exploring EVERY nook and cranny for ANY help. Thanks for the info!

    @mrs_shu: I actually came across some info about them, but they're located in the next state, and it's just not possible for me to travel that far. And, yes, there's a few dollar stores around here that also sell food.

    @praying4our3rd: The thing about my doctor is, my mom used to work in his office, and he's a VERY close friend of her's. I doubt he'd believe I'm in this kind of situation with the income my mom has along with my step-dad's, but I'm ashamed to say, this is exactly where we're at. Hopefully, it doesn't come to me having to call the office, but if it does, it does. Thank you so much for your kind words, it's good to know someone understands, and I'd gladly accept the help, but I live in Louisiana.
  • @ready2bmommy: You definately just made me cry! I guess I didn't see it that way, because so many other people see someone who didn't have a plan, got pregnant, and ended up like this. But, that was perfectly worded. Thanks sooo much!

    @marie0907: I live in Louisiana.
  • I've also posted on Craigslist for info on local places that'll help. But, no responses yet. It's still pretty early in the morning, though.
  • @praying4our3rd: Thanks so much! Harvey, Marrero, and Gretna are all the towns in a 10 mile radius of my house.
  • I totally can send mac & cheese and soup =] I don't have much but u need it more then me
  • @praying4our3rd, @Nova, @Mommy2be92: You guys have no idea how much I appriciate all of the info and the help. I really hate that it's come to this, but I guess we have to keep our heads up and make the best out of whatever situation we're given. If you guys want, I'll give you my address or any other info you may need through e-mail. adrieannahmcbride@yahoo.com is where you can reach me!

    And, after talking to my fiance', we're gonna break down and pawn our engagement rings so we can use the money for even a little bit of food. I thought about trying the Dollar Tree for snacks and juices (how can you go wrong when everything's a dollar?), and the Dollar Store for hot dogs, can goods, ramen noodles, etc. It's just SO hard to stay positive right now, and I have absolutly no clue how I'm doing it, but you guys have no idea how much this helps and keeps us pushing for something better. It really means A LOT!
  • @praying4our3rd: It's hard to admit that we need help, but the way I see it, we have one of two options. We either hold on to our pride, and not search for help or accept any that we're offered while risking the health of our unborn daughter and ourselves, or we say to hell with pride, put our child's well being first, and do whatever we can to provide. My mom isn't so understanding of our situation, she's too wrapped up in her own world. She decided she wanted to throw me a baby shower so I can get things I need for the baby, which is a great idea, we can use all the help we can get, BUT she wants to go all out. Decorations, a $100 cake, games, prizes, the whole 9 yards. I asked her why don't we just have something small. Maybe get a couple of pink table covers and a few finger sandwhich trays and call it quits. Save all that money for other things, like food. She blew up on me, of course. She's not seeing the risks in me not eating, she's seeing the happy side of pregnancy, which unfortunatly I've yet to see. Most of my family has the same mind set as she does. I just wish they'd understand it's NOT all peaches and cream on my end. I can't celebrate my pregnancy like I want to, and I'm TIRED of pretending that everything's okay, when it isn't. But, they only see what they want to see.

    Sorry for going on and on. I just need to vent, I guess.
  • I would like to help.. I'm sorry you are going thru all this!
  • Hi there! I have just read your story and boy did it bring back memories.

    Im living in Northern Ireland but lashana1983@hotmail.com thats my email address please get in touch if there is anything i can do for you. I have been in a similar position and know how hard it is to cope, i would like to help u in anyway that i can xxx us pregnant ladies need to stick together and help each other out x
  • @lilpeapod913, @mummylala: Thank you guys! Anything would help at this point, even a simple prayer for us, or someone to vent to. EVERY little bit helps, and I really appriciate ALL of it!!
  • @praying4our3rd: Pregly has definately gave me more hope that I can do this! Now that I wrote down all the numbers and info I got today, I better start calling. Thanks again!
  • Honey, I'm praying for your family and I hope you guys get back on your feet soon! >:D< Sending hugs!
  • Wow. I just got up and found this post. I have 5 kids, one on the way, so im pretty nifty-thrifty, but I would LOVE to help any way I can. Chin up, little lady. Things have a funny way of turning themselves around. Power of Prayer is AWESOME.
  • this is almost exactly the situation me and my fiance are in. we need a car, so we have to pay insurance and payments, that takes almost all of my hubbys paycheck, and he needs his cell bc hes a manager at his store, so that bill has to be paid, and then gas is so damn expensive it takes almost the rest of our money. all we have left is jsut enough to buy food for ourselves, and my father, whos house we live in buys food and so far has told us we can eat whatever is in the house, and its always full of food, but lately my little brother whos freaking 16, has been getting on my nerves, we even have to pay my dad rent and clean the house or i get yelled at, and so i inally lost it after doing all kinds of cleaning and having my brother come drop a dirty dish in the sink right as im washing dishes or walk right past me moving chairs to sweep and not offer to help, so i told him he was a lazy bastard and doesnmt do anythuing around the house and he needs to grow up. he whined to my dad and my dad had the nerve to say somethign like well hes bringing more money into this house through child support form your mom than you are. i was like wow youre really going to say somethign like that?! he said yea bc its true he deserves to be here as much as yo do.
    my father has NEVER stood up for his ONLY daughter out of four kids, and continues to treat me like im not even family. that pissed me off so now we have a fridge in our room, and my finace eats maybe once a day even when i make him something to bring with him for lunch bc hes at work all day works his butt off and still doesnt make anythign, i make barely anythign working part tiem but i ahve to wuit soon bc its hard to do this pregnant. weer going to angel food ministries in my town next week so we cna make sure we brought our 'own food' into the house therefor we dont get talked to about eating his food. it pisses me off so much how selfish family can be when they are supposed to be the only ones here for you no matter what!

    hang in there sweetheart it will get better theres all kinds of resources as youve seen here, and these ladies are so helpful you picked the right women to vent to :) we will always be here to help
  • @Blueberrysmom: Thank you, Hun!

    @praying4our3rd: The phone calls went pretty good yesterday. A few of the places said they couldn't help me because I didn't fit some kind of qualification they had. There's 1 or 2 that I have to actually go to their place to do an application for assistance, but they'e a decent distance from my house, so I'm going to talk to my mom about possibly bringing me. There's nothing set in stone with any of them, yet, but I also called on a Friday, so Monday I may get in touch with more people that can help.

    @babynumbersix: Prayer is definately a life saver! Thank you!

    @kdaniels: It is SO hard to do anything productive these days. It seems like once you get 2 steps forward, you get shoved 10 steps back, but believe me, things have a way of turning themselves around. It seems like your brother still has a lot of maturing to do, but I know EXACTLY what it's like busting your ass to get something clean, and then someone be rude enough to walk right past, or give you more to clean. I have a 17 year old sister that lives here, and she is the EXACT same way. But, in a way, your dad is right. You and your brother equally deserve places in the home, but there's no reason he should put your brother before you, or vice versa. I can imagine how hard that is. Anyway, some of the things we do to keep as much money in our pocket are;

    -completely got rid of our cell phones, and borrowed one from my mom. (You guys aren't able to do that, so look into the Straight Talk plans from Walmart. It's $45 a month, and the phones actually get pretty good service.)

    -signed up for free samples, and started clipping as many coupons as we could. (I HATE GOING TO A BUSY STORE WITH A FIST FULL OF COUPONS!!! Lol. But, I've saved A LOT of money.)

    -joined a gas incentive program. I don't know where you live, but here at the Winn Dixie, for every $50 you spend in store, you get 10 cents off up to 20 gallons of gas. We can build it up to 70 cents off per gallon. It doesn't seem like much, but my God, it adds up. I know Krogers do it, but there's is 10 cents off a gallon for every $100 spent in store, and that 10 cents is good for 1 fill up.

    It may not be much, but I hope this helps in some kind of way. It's hard to live like this, but saving every little cent helps. It'll definately get better one day! I wish you guys the best of luck!! :)
  • **Update** :) :)

    Around 10:30 or 11 yesterday morning, my fiance' got a call saying that his backround check had FINALLY came back, and of course everything was okay, so they wanted him to go take a drug test yesterday afternoon!!! :) It's not the BEST job ever, and it isn't the one we were hoping for, BUT it's a job, and the benefits for him are AWESOME. For the first 90 days it's $8/hr, 40 hour weeks with possible overtime at least twice a week. After 90 days, pay goes up to $8.50/hr, hours stay the same, AND he gets health insurance 100% paid by the company, which is awesome, because he hasn't been to the doctor since he was 17, and he's now 33. It may not sound like much, but it's WAY more than we had before. This job is going to help out SO much! Thanks so much everyone!!!
  • Congratulations to fiance for getting the job, even if the pay isn't the best its better then nothing. But insurance is a big deal with how much you will be saving having it
  • Congratulations!!!!!! Don't start thinking negative now! A job is a job and its gonna bring more than what's there now ;) and insurance? That alone makes it awesome! Now that's a little stress and worry taken off your shoulders >:D< I gotta say seeing the words UPDATE with a smiley face lifted my mood (my oldest had hung up on me a few minutes ago because for the 4th time this week I dared to try and get her to tell me where home is-shes been in a ccis unit all week)
  • Thanks for the advice hun :) I agree my bei deserves to b here I don't want him out of the house I just want him to contribute somehow. And my father used to make me and my big brother do four or five chores a night before we even thought to ask if we could do watch tv.

    But I'm so glad the job came through for your hubby! That is such good news! I good things continue to get better!
  • Happy things are looking up!!
  • So, tomorrow my fiance' starts working at the job we originally were hoping for, we found out about it today, and we also found out we get $200 a month in food stamps, effective immediately! :) It seems like after one thing falls into place, everything follows! Hopefully we're able to stay on this good luck streak for a couple of months!! :) Thanks so much for the prayers and advice!! It means soooo much!! :)
  • Please don't pawn your engagement rings for food. I will inbox you my number and if you would text me your address and I will send you some food. Please.
  • Lots and lots of prayers for you hun.
  • @momof5 i actually ended up backing out of the idea at the last minute. my engagement ring has wayy to many good memories, I just can't part with it. My mom was able to loan us a couple of dollars that day.

    Thanks for offering help, I really appriciate it, but as of today we're recieving food stamps, so things are definately looking WAY better. :) But, thank you!!
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