My family thinks I'm wrong

edited June 2011 in Parenting
Because I don't and won't allow Brooklyn to stay with any of them or anyone else. I like my family but not enough to keep my daughters without me around. I have my reasons to keep my daughters at home and not 2 hours away. I have trust issues and I don't trust anyone watching my kids over night. My grandma of all people know why I won't allow anyone to watch my kids but she tells me that I "need to grow out of it". I personally feel like I am breaking a cycle that my mom and I went through by keeping my girls at home. My husband is totally supportive of me even though we never go out or do anything with it being just the two of us. What do you guys think?
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Comments

  • well we dont know the reason that you keep her home, so i guess we wouldnt really be able to help without the full story. but if your hubby supports you then ok
  • is there smething worse than just trust issues.... ur kids r your kids hun, but endless smethng is really wrong then id understand!!!
  • If you don't want anyone to keep them,then you don't want anyone to keep them that's it. If they get mad then boo hoo, its your decision!
  • If your not comfortable then stand your ground and say no thank you. Me, on the other hand, I love when my parents or my inlaws want to take my son for a weekend! They are 2 hours away and for me its time to get things done, relax, hang out with friends. But if you don't trust them, then no...I don't blame you. They are your babies and you got to make sure your comfortable with it and that they will be safe.
  • I think its perfectly fine to keep your children close to you. In this day and age, so many crazy things can happen. I know a lot of parents who do the same and they are perfectly fine.

    The only reason I can think of as to why someone should let their children stay with family away from home would be dependency. We have a 3 yr old son and have always allowed my parents or in laws to take him over night (and they live 4 1/2 hrs away). I think because of it, he is a VERY independent person - as apposed to kids who are too afraid to leave their parents because they were never allowed to.

    I personally think either way is fine. Its up to you!
  • I think u know what's best for your children. Your family well screw them if they dont understand were your coming from it's your babies and you know what's best!
  • @survivormommie3 and @gabbyc-I was molested by my grandmothers husband. After telling her and countless others nothing was ever done. I just don't want my girls to go through it too.
  • Hell Yes you are damn correct in keeping your girls away!!!
  • @sands3 and @excitedforbaby and @mylittleman2011-thank you! I just feel I need to protect them better than I was.
  • @vtmamajuju-there are waaay too many crazies out there for my comfort! Lol Sadly I don't have inlaws (Lord rest their souls) and my parents didn't raise me so I definitely won't let them keep my children. I have one sil that always ask to keep Brooklyn but she doesn't have a stable living situation and I don't know the guy she is living with so that's a no.
  • @mylittleman2011-I plan on it as long as possible! I want my daughter to know my family but the thought of what happened to me happening to her stops me. And if my family wants to know her, they know where we live. Hell, most of them are in our city every week but never stop by.
  • THEN I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND and u r doing the right thing, god forbid... ur a great momma
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  • U know it's terribly sad that your family is putting you thru this! You are a better parent and person for standing your ground. I stand behind you 150% I understand they should come to u or understand that highway between your houses is two way but when it's to their house you will always be there with your children! I am really sorry you are put into this predicament.
  • @mommy_of_two-thank you! I don't have anyone really that she can stay with. Idk what I'm going to do when I go have her sister. And you are so right, you really don't know people even family.

    @mylittleman2011-Thank you! I'm glad you and the other Pregly ladies understand. I feel its my duty as a mother to put a stop to a cycle started before I even came along. And if it means hurt family or people mad then so be it. They are my babies and if I don't protect them, who will? Once again, thank you for understanding.
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  • I'm the same way. Only exception is if I'm really stressed or I'm sick. Other than that my kids don't go anywhere without me
  • @mommy_of_two-I don't have cousins I can talk to since all of them that has kids pawn them off on someone ekse so they can party. Smh and my siblings are younger than me and the ones they aren't live out of state. My hubby has siblings that I adore! But like my family they don't live close or close enough for comfort. I do however have one really great friend who has a son my daughters age and Brooklyn loves her. She offered to keep her until I come home from the hospital. I still have 5 weeks to decided. I will definitely keep you updated! Thank you for listening!

    @TeenMommy-If I'm stressed my husband is there for me even if he is at work, he'll come home. I haven't been sick in god knows how long (knock on wood) so I wouldn't know what to do in that situation. I do want someone to be able to watch her but they have to live closer and I have to know in my heart that she is safe.
  • My boyfriend can't take off work that often. He's been off work all week because I've been sick. But I agree with you. They would have to live close
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  • I agree with ur decision completely! i too was in ur situation when i was about 6 with my cousins father in law and when i was 10 i told my mom and grandmother, they swore not to tell my grandfather or my father cuz they knew that they would most likely end up in jail for killing this man for what he did. im 26 today and still noone else knows except my bf now. i would never let my children around my cousins family and sometimes i wish that his children werent there either. i would never want my child to live with what i live with and if anything, god forbid, ever happened and my child had the courage to tell me then i would protect them to no end and give the bastard what they deserve.
  • I totally agree! You have to worry about boys and girls now a days! I luv my sisters but idk what their kids would do to my baby if left alone. I have a 4 y/o nephew and 13 and 7 year old neices. Im afraid they will drop baby or God knows what else. So my baby wont get left alone with them
  • @mommy_of_two-we will see what happen when labor comes or my induction day. I'm sure I can trust her though.

    @btrflyqt85-I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you had people to believe you. No child should have to go through what we went through and if keeping our babies by us make us the bad person, then oh well! We know that we are protecting them.

    @bee0726-I agree with you! Too many people are letting young children watch their babies. At least around here. As mothers its our duty to protect our babies from danger.

    Thank all of you ladies for understanding and not thinking I'm paranoid or wrong like my family does! Happy pregnancy to you all!
  • Your 100% right. It'd your kids, don't let anyone tell you what to do.
  • @Jess510-thank you! I plan to stand my ground! My hubby is ok with it so they can just go on!
  • I think that you are valid in your thoughts... definitely after hearing about your past. They are way too far to fell comfortable. And if they didn't help when you spoke up, why would you be abject to trust them now? I'm sure they're fine people but its better to be safe than Sorry... I'm sure some day you will find people you can trust and depend on but... small doses and small steps. 2 hrs is just too much!

    Good luck Hun. I'm glad you have a supportive husband, and hope you find close friends to trust (that are close) at some point. But continue to follow your heart (and your gut) until you're comfortable! ;;)
  • Ohhh just read some of your replies... I'm glad that you do have someone close that you can trust :) I think when my day comes (just ttc now) I will be like you too bc all the family and friends I trust are across the country! Luckily my husbands girls are older and gave their mom Haha... not sure what I'd do with my own and younger. As I said... follow your heart. And GOOD LUCK with your delivery!!"
  • @mrsrocketfield1221-Thank you! I know I'm doing the right thing by keeping my babies home. Ending a cycle that started before I was born makes me feel 10 feet tall even when my family tries to cut me down. My daughters will have a better childhood than I did. My husband is great and so is his family! They have never once said anything bad to me about my decision (at least not directly) and I appreciate them. Thank you again! Sending some fertility dust to you! Good luck and remember to have fun while ttc.
  • After going thru labour and pregnancy I say, you did the work, they're your babes, enough said.
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