Is my Mom being a Baby Showerzilla or Am I being an ungrateful brat??
My Mom is planning my shower. I'm both my parents only child and and their spending a lot of money on this shower. She's really going all out. She's also made it perfectly clear that this is HER shower and I WILL love it.
My Moms an event coordinator. This is what she does and she's great at it. Ordinarily she would get a clients ideas and produce an event based on what they want. In my case, I don't feel like she's listening at all. We're both girly-girls. However, my Mom is more of a conservative, pale pink, pearls, tea party-esque type. I'm more of a fun hot pink, bling, and maybe some animal print type. I told her I don't want to walk in a feel I should be wearing white gloves and a tulle dress. She wants an elegant, classy feel. I hate to say it but my bf and I are not really elegant, classy people. We like to dance, drink, and have fun. My bf has hired a DJ and our male family and friends will be there. I want a down to earth, fun atmosphere where people will feel comfortable.
Right now the big issue is the invites. She paid a lot of money for custom invites (as well as catering) and has been harrassing us for an attendee list. I gave her one but my bf hasn't. He's a guy and doesn't operate that way. He just wants her to give him a bunch and let him hand them out. I keep telling her to let him do it his way because even if he gives her a number by the time word gets out via FB and text it'll be off anyway. She's worried we'll run out of food. Well, initially I asked that it be bar b q style anyway. I even wanted it outside. She called in a favor from one of her wedding vendors and rented a ballroom. The other day she told me she rented pink and white cloth table covers. I specifically told her I did not want to see all pink everywhere. She sent me a pic of the cake. Its elaborate and gorgeous, but its light pink and white with pearls. She said they could make the pink darker but I also asked for sparkle.
On one hand, I don't want to walk in and be disappointed. I could see if I wanted to cost her more money but my ideas actually come out cheaper. On the other hand I should just be grateful that someone is going through all the trouble for us. I don't know wether to step in and put my foot down or just let her have her fun.
My Moms an event coordinator. This is what she does and she's great at it. Ordinarily she would get a clients ideas and produce an event based on what they want. In my case, I don't feel like she's listening at all. We're both girly-girls. However, my Mom is more of a conservative, pale pink, pearls, tea party-esque type. I'm more of a fun hot pink, bling, and maybe some animal print type. I told her I don't want to walk in a feel I should be wearing white gloves and a tulle dress. She wants an elegant, classy feel. I hate to say it but my bf and I are not really elegant, classy people. We like to dance, drink, and have fun. My bf has hired a DJ and our male family and friends will be there. I want a down to earth, fun atmosphere where people will feel comfortable.
Right now the big issue is the invites. She paid a lot of money for custom invites (as well as catering) and has been harrassing us for an attendee list. I gave her one but my bf hasn't. He's a guy and doesn't operate that way. He just wants her to give him a bunch and let him hand them out. I keep telling her to let him do it his way because even if he gives her a number by the time word gets out via FB and text it'll be off anyway. She's worried we'll run out of food. Well, initially I asked that it be bar b q style anyway. I even wanted it outside. She called in a favor from one of her wedding vendors and rented a ballroom. The other day she told me she rented pink and white cloth table covers. I specifically told her I did not want to see all pink everywhere. She sent me a pic of the cake. Its elaborate and gorgeous, but its light pink and white with pearls. She said they could make the pink darker but I also asked for sparkle.
On one hand, I don't want to walk in and be disappointed. I could see if I wanted to cost her more money but my ideas actually come out cheaper. On the other hand I should just be grateful that someone is going through all the trouble for us. I don't know wether to step in and put my foot down or just let her have her fun.
Comments
if you want try and talk to her bring up how much everything is appreciated and how grateful etc...but you feel as if everything you want is being ignored and disregarded. Some things is one thing but everything hurts your feelings.
If nothing changes, let it go. Remember its your baby
I don't want to sound like a push over. Its just hard when its my Mom. She the one who was there when my Dad wasn't around, when my bf was being a douche, and any other time I needed her. Sometimes I feel like its her right to be this close but she does need to learn to back off a little.
Ahhhh, thanks you ladies for your input and letting me vent. This has boiling for months now.
For the invites, I understand her frustration. Its nearly impossible to order the correct number of servings, without having rsvp's. And it looks soo tacky to run out of food, plus it makes for cranky guests. Maybe you can compromise by getting your bf to make a list of who he plans to invite and then at least she'll have an idea of how much food to order. She may also be worried that if he's just handing out invites, someone will get left out and that's a whole bunch of drama you don't need, so a list would help you avoid that as well.
Good luck!
@ethansmommy122 Thanks. I know ill have fun either way and I am grateful. My mom does have great taste. Its just different from mine. That's all I want her to consider.
@laura536 You're right. I think I am going to let her have this one. We did give her a head count and asked her to add maybe 10 or 15. She's just used to planning more upscale events where everybody RSVP's and she knows exaclty who to expect. My bfs friends aren't like that. I'm also not going to turn my nose up to gift bearing guests just cause they didn't RSVP. Its just not that an exclusive event to me.
@augustbebe She doesn't really care if I like it but you're right.
@yaya I'm glad it worked out. So did you end up having 2 showers?
@babyluv3 You could always throw your own. Showers don't have to be expensive. I was going to have mine at a park for free and bar b que. All my family and friends really need is good food and music.
i would say you are letting her walk all over you because she wants it her way. too bad. it's not her or her baby shower. compared to my situation i would rather have it that way though. my mom basically thinks that it's all about her and doesn't want me to have a shower or anything, because she didn't have one or anything. so why would i deserve such????