My mom wants us to move in with her (sorry, long :( )
I wasn't sure where to post this, but I would like some advice.
My father passed away suddenly on June 16 as a result of a bee sting. We didn't even know he was allergic! Since his passing, my sisters and I (I have 3, 1 of whom is 16 and still living at home) have been taking turns staying with my mom because she does not like being alone. She says when she is alone, she just thinks about dad. Plus, she has never been alone in her life, she married my dad at a very young age and went straight from her parent's house to living with him.
I am currently 40 weeks pregnant today and my older sister informed me that my mom is going to ask me and my husband to just move in with her once the baby is born! My problem with this is I am afraid it will cause some problems for my husband and I. He gets along with my mother very well, as do I, but I have seen how she is with my neices and nephews. I am afraid she will try to parent our little one too much if we are living with her. I love my mom so much and I understand this is a tough time for her, but I think we should just keep what we are doing for the time being until she gets to a point where she can cope on her own, I just don't know how to tell her this. I don't want her to feel rejected by me, especially at a time like this. She hasn't even asked me yet, but I have been stressing every time I talk to her because I am afraid she is going to ask and I don't know what to say.
Does anyone have any advice for how I can tell her that I want us to keep what we are doing and not move in in a gentle way to try to not hurt her too much? Has anyone ever been in a situation similar? Any advice is appreciated! Sorry this is so long.
My father passed away suddenly on June 16 as a result of a bee sting. We didn't even know he was allergic! Since his passing, my sisters and I (I have 3, 1 of whom is 16 and still living at home) have been taking turns staying with my mom because she does not like being alone. She says when she is alone, she just thinks about dad. Plus, she has never been alone in her life, she married my dad at a very young age and went straight from her parent's house to living with him.
I am currently 40 weeks pregnant today and my older sister informed me that my mom is going to ask me and my husband to just move in with her once the baby is born! My problem with this is I am afraid it will cause some problems for my husband and I. He gets along with my mother very well, as do I, but I have seen how she is with my neices and nephews. I am afraid she will try to parent our little one too much if we are living with her. I love my mom so much and I understand this is a tough time for her, but I think we should just keep what we are doing for the time being until she gets to a point where she can cope on her own, I just don't know how to tell her this. I don't want her to feel rejected by me, especially at a time like this. She hasn't even asked me yet, but I have been stressing every time I talk to her because I am afraid she is going to ask and I don't know what to say.
Does anyone have any advice for how I can tell her that I want us to keep what we are doing and not move in in a gentle way to try to not hurt her too much? Has anyone ever been in a situation similar? Any advice is appreciated! Sorry this is so long.
Comments
I guess I knew what we should do before I even posted this, but I just wondered if anyone had been in this situation before. Thank you @mylittleman2011 for telling me about your situation.
I will most likely end up telling her we cannot do this. I know we need to quit being there so much, but it is difficult right now because it hasn't even been a month yet. I already spoke to my sisters about this today about how we need to try to leave her alone and see how she does (she wont technically even be alone because our little sister is still at home). I am just the type of person who hates to hurt other people's feelings, but if I say yes to this, I will probably hurt my marriage. Sorry I am rambling, I am just trying to sort out my thoughts.
The reason she is going to ask me is because my husband and I are currently only renting and my other 2 sisters already own houses so she said we could save money by living with her so we could eventually buy a house (this is what my sister said) so she is obviously not expecting g us to stay permanently. If it wasn't for the baby, I would probably do it, but I will try the staying only on weekends if she asks and see how that goes.