He wants to be in there... but I don't want him to be! D:

MythicaMythica
edited July 2011 in VENT (keep it peaceful!)
What am I supposed to do? I haven't seen him since I moved out of our apartment, but I've talked to him off and on. There's been severe tension on our communications up until recently, when my sister had to threaten to show up at his house with law enforcement if he didn't get his fiance to back the heck up off of me. (he's got warrants, it's the last thing he wants to see: police. xD lol. And who does my sister work for? None other than Oklahoma Highway Patrol. xD)

Anyway. I don't want him to be in the delivery room because he stresses me the heck out. I can chat with him on msn or on the phone, but even that stresses me out. Not only that, I'd rather him not even be at the hospital because it means his fiance will be there. I'm honestly afraid that she'll try to take off with my baby... I'm already planning to tell the nurses that she's not even allowed in the labor room, let alone anywhere near the baby. Like, if the baby's in the room, she's not allowed to be. I want to keep her away from my child as much as possible. She shows her insane jealousy towards me to everyone except him, then goes off and tells him how excited she is and all that. He believes she's as innocent as a lark. That woman is nuts!

But that's not the point. The point is: What do I do? I don't want him in there for my sanity, but my morals say: This is his first baby, too. You know he wants to be in there... it's all he's really asked...

Comments

  • mrsrocketfield1221mrsrocketfield1221
    Why does she even need to be around? I don't give two shits if they're together... this is between you and him and if you don't feel comfortable with her being around, she shouldn't be!!! Point blank.

    As for him, I think you'll have to go with what you feel inside. If you honest to goodness will not feel ok with him being in there than I think it us your right not to. Don't just not let him out of anger... but if it is more than that and will take away from your experience than I say who cares if its his first! We've heard that he is not a very good person, so I don't feel guilty about saying no. But again, you follow how you feel. This is your big day!!
  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    You can sign paperwork, to not let anyone know your in the hospital. Therefore, they can't see you. I was assauted and kicked in the stomach at 29 wks, and if I feared shed try to come there, they asked if I wanted to sign the paperwork. If you don't want him there, don't. Its your choice honestly.
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  • trying4firsttrying4first
    if you want him in there then tell him you only want HIM in there and tell the nurses she is not allowed on the floor. tell him that you will have her police escourted out of the hospital if she shows up.
  • brittneymcgrewbrittneymcgrew
    Where in Oklahoma do you live? I live in. OKC
  • MythicaMythica
    @trying4first oh, trust me, hun. Police will escort her out if she tries. I've got a lot of family in law enforcement.

    I'm afraid of him being in there because I'm afraid he's going to stress me and Evelynn out. I can't even be in the same room with him without my nerves being on edge and getting easily pissed off.

    @mama_underpants his fiance has verbally and emotionally assaulted me over text.
  • MythicaMythica
    @brittneymcgrew Edmond. lol. Where are you giving birth at? I'm birthing in Shawnee.
  • brittneymcgrewbrittneymcgrew
    Mercy! How many weeks are you?
  • Jaime77Jaime77
    On my delivery day Greg was being a total douche, not wanting to stay from start to finish bc labor is "boring" and I thought about not telling him to come when I was dialted at 9cm, in the end I felt bad, called and he ended up being a great coach.
    You have every right to say who is there. Trust your gut.
  • MythicaMythica
    Well, he's pretty damn insistent. And he seems to think he's got this all figured out. At this point, I don't want him there. At all. Period. I don't even want him in my daughter's life because of all the crap he's got going on in his life. I wish it were easier not to be pissed off just from talking to him. But I don't have to call him when I go into labor, do I? And he seems to think that the hospital will do an automatic dna test. I don't think so, buddy! And even if they do, go ahead. You'll be paying out the ass for child support (something he's begged me not to make him do! X( )
  • Jaime77Jaime77
    Nope, as far as the hospital is concerned, the baby is all yours!! My hospital doesn't do dna, greg put his info for the birth certificate and bc we aren't married, pennyslvania had him sign an acknowledgment of paternity paper. Without it signed, Jaden's bc would have been blank for father. No matter an ordered support or not, he should help with your baby!
  • MythicaMythica
    edited July 2011
    And if I don't want him to sign the bc? @jaime77
  • MythicaMythica
    CAN I KICK HIM IN THE NADS OR SOMETHING?!

    Freaking idiot. X(
  • one5oneone5one
    I think if he comes to the hospital, you can give him a swift nad kick!! Blame it on the labor pains! Lol....anyway tell your hospital that the fiance is nuts & might steal the kid. They wont even allow her in the ward! Let alone your room. As for the bd maybe talk to him that you don't want her there. If not call him to visit after babys here but if you're home make sure a friend or family is there in case tge fiance goes nuts!
  • MythicaMythica
    @one5one I've already told him she's not allowed anywhere near the delivery/labor room. He keeps saying "I'm the father! I have rights!" and he's trying to guilt me into letting him in there by saying things like "You're not even going to let me be there for the birth of my first child? How heartless!" Well, okay, he didn't call me heartless, but he might as well have. Sorry, I have strong conviction sometimes, but he pulled the emotionally controlling bs the whole time we were together. he's one of the few that i can easily resist when he pulls guilt trips. Granted, it's the only reason why I don't straight out tell him "Uh, HELL NAH!" but that's not the point. lol

    Oh, and LMAO at the labor pains blame. ;D
  • one5oneone5one
    Well him being there doesn't mean nutcase does too!! Really its all up to you. In fact what you could do is tell everyone to keep quiet when labor comes. Have your baby in peace then after birth call him & say you just popped the kid out in an hour & had no time to call....even if it took you 30 hrs to birth. Lie to him...he wont know if everyone sticks to the story.but do tell the hospital that she might steal baby. They might not even let her step foot in the hospital.
  • MythicaMythica
    @one5one It's something I've been concerned about for a while, so I do plan to tell them that. And I've considered not calling him at all and making something up like that. The only thing I'm concerned about with me blocking him from being there is him someday telling Evelynn that mommy was so horrible to him that she didn't even let him be there! I think I've convinced myself that he's going to shittalk me to my daughter. T-T
  • one5oneone5one
    Well as for the shit talk. Always tell your daughter things the way they are! Not the way he sees it. I do that with my daughter. My aunt....moms sis tell my kid we are hoarders & lazy & such. But she knows we aren't. My hub works as a cook on his feet 40 hrs a week. I'm cleaning out the place & got boxes everywhere. NOT to hoard but to donate. So I tell my kid the real not others perception. Do that for yours too. Tell her like that. I also ask if they say anything about us. Then explain things about that too. People can get stupid with their words when things don't go their way or the way they'd do it.
  • kritten_octoberbbykritten_octoberbby
    Im separated from my husband and idk if i want him in the room either.. but he isnt with another girl so its a little less awkward.. but i get how you feel...
  • mommy2now3mommy2now3
    I didn't read everyones post but @mythica you are the one going through labor not him you need to be comfortable with who is there. When I had my first it was his dads first to but he was a total ass and I wanted him no where near me. When you do your hospital registration just give them his and her name and tell them you don't want them there. I know that in AZ you can't get into the area with out picking up a phone outside the door and giving your name before they let you back.

    She doesn't need to be there period I waited until I was home and my mom called Bd to see when he wanted to come over to see our son. It sucks and is not an easy decision but it is yours and yours alone and that is your right. As far as him being on the bc I didn't but my ex on our sons bc because I didn't think his was going to be around the hospital didn't say anything to me.

    Good luck
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