grandmas cancer *update* not pregnancy related

edited July 2011 in Health
Well back in November my grams turned 80 and finally decided to retire. For most ppl that's a great think but my grams fell into a funk. Stopped getting outta bed stopped eating stopped socializing with almost everyone but my husband and myself. ( she's a talker and I'm pretty quiet, but put us together n we just don't shut up. :-D) well Christmas rolled around and we went to see her n my dad (my dad lives with her, he's never really grown up) the whole time were there my dad is bitching cuz she doesn't cook clean or go to the store so he's ALWAYS hungry. (Poor thing get ur ass up n do it yourself) well I was telling him then something is wrong u need to get her to a Dr. He would just say o she's depressed n shell pull outta it. But I was watching her try to eat n u could just see the pain in her face with every swallow n she was "loosing" her voice. Well b4 the end of January she found out her oldest son, my uncle has lymphoma. Needless to say she completely gave up on life. Kept saying she refused to let one of her sons die 1st. Well after a huge fight between my dad n I he finally made her go to the Dr.
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  • what happened at the doc appt?
  • Which did us no good, my dad drove her but she went in alone n told dad that they didn't find anything wrong. Well this happened a few time. I knew better I kept telling my dad she had cancer, I just had this gut feeling. Well after a couple phone calls not only was my dad taking her to another appointment but my 2 uncles n my aunt were going aswell n my aunt was staying with her the entire time. Well my grams was not being honest. The whole time the doctor has been trying to get her into a specialist cuz she has lung cancer but she was refusing. Well she now has a specialist n is going to him almost daily for breathing treatments we have since found out that its stage 4 . My question is What does this really mean. I know its bad. Bit does she have any chance at all. She. Lives 2 hours away so my Dr. Has told me no more road trips but I can't help but wanna jump in my car and take care of her. She will take her meds n follow her diet much better. For me then she will my dad. But does anyone know anything about this type of cancer?
  • I'm sorry to hear about ur grandma. I don't know anything about lung cancer either. But maybe u could explain the circumstances to ur Dr and maybe he would let u go if u were to stay with her for a while. It could cause more stress for u not being there than if u were there. Good luck though. I hope that everything works out for the best for you guys.
  • @NewMomInSept - thank you. My Dr knows what's going on. She let me go one last time last week. Ill be 38 weeks on Wednesday n she thinks the baby may be coming early so she doesn't want me so far from home anymore.
  • Im sorry for you, your grandma and your family. I really dont know what to tell you, but I just want to say I will be praying for your grandma and your auncle.

    Be strong for them!
  • @rubi1989 - thank u! Everything helps at this point. I'm trying to be strong but she knows me to well. I was sitting next to her bed holding her hand n she squeezed my hand real tight n interrupted me to tell me it was gonna be OK, shed had a long good life n it was her time to go n let me have a baby of my own. I just about lost it. I told her no I needed her n I was gonna be selfish like it or not. But at the same time I hate seeing her n pain!
  • I am so sorry... We lost my grandfather to lung cancer. If it's at stage 4 it typically means that it is terminal. There are several factors that the doctors would have to consider to determine if there are treatment options (surgery, chemo, radiation or combination) or if they can just make her comfortable.

    My grandfather's diagnosis came just a few months after we lost my grandmother. He had pnuemonia, and when he went back for his check up they found a spot on his lung. They immediately started him on radiation and chemo, but it started growing and spreading rapidly. About 3 months after being diagnosed he was gone.

    I have a friend who's dad was diagnosed and his treatment was that the removal of his left lung and 3 months of chemo. He is now in remission.

    I would ask lots of questions and do a lot of research. If possible, ask to be added to the list of people authorized to receive health information on your grandmother so you can communicate with the doctors if you want to.

    Sorry this is long.... Good luck. Saying prayers for you and your family.
  • My mother in law has lung cancer ( its tge kind you only get from smoking) and she had to have chemo and radeation for 6 months I dont know if it was as bad as your grandmas but chemo really does work the only bad part is you lose your energy. I hope she gets better soon
  • Sorry I was going to say something then forgot what I was going to say
  • @txmoorekat - thank you so much! As of right now she has agreed to radiation. She has lost so much weight they were scared to even do that. She was averaging weight loss of 2-3 lbs a day for several months. But with her new diet she's put almost 10 lbs back on in the last couple weeks. The drs hopes are that with radiation and getting the weight back on surgery may become possible but the cancer has spread so its a wait n see game at this point.
  • @angelmonkeymelody - I'm assuming smoking is what caused my grams as well she has smoked since she was about 13. But quit back in January. She is already very weak. Getting her to eat is a pretty big fight most days.
  • We just went through something similiar with my husband's grandmother a few years ago. It's like she lost the will to live and just didn't want to fight it anymore. And it was SO frustrating because she just stopped eating and essentially starved herself to death. It's so easy to get depressed at that age, esp facing an illness that involves such intense and uncomfortable treatment. I don't want to say give up on her, but if she really doesn't want to fight it, you might not have a lot of say in it. : (
  • @laura536 - yeah that's a lot of it. She decided a long time ago that her life had been long enough and it was just her time. That was b4 she even knew she was sick. Then finding out about my uncle made it worse. If it wasn't for so many of us pushing n fighting for her she. Would be gone already that I do know. I just keep trying to get it into her head that its not over, I'm the youngest grandbaby n I'm having my 1st child soon n my brothers having his 1st in February. N I for one need her and all her crazy advice.
  • Are they treating her for depression at all?
  • @adensmommy0803 ya that is how it is with my mother in law try to see if she is going/getting any chemo or radeation because that is the only way it is going to go away
  • My friends grandma has lung cancer too. She did radiation and chemo... She also lost a lot of weight and wouldn't eat, the drs gave her pot cookies... She didn't know what she was eating but I guess it was the only way to stop her from losing weight. For her the treatment didn't help but it has extended her life. She mostly just sleeps right now...
  • @laura536 - at this point no n I don't think she would let them. She had a shit fit when she found out I was being treated for it.

    @angelmonkeymelody - she's seeing the specialist tomorrow morning to talk about and possibly start radiation.
  • Ok that is good I really hope she gets better soon
  • @everyone - well I just wanted to thank everyone for ur kind words knowledge and prayers. It really does mean a lot. But the knees today was bad. All they can do at this point is make her as comfortable as possible. The cancer has spread throughout her entire upper cavity and is crushing her air ways. So they are bringing hospice care into her home and have given her 2 or 3 more weeks. Which means She will possibly pass on or after my due date. Which is something I just don't know how I will deal with. She Just keeps telling me that its OK, she knows she has to pass to make room for my son and its killing me to hear her be so at pease with it.
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  • @richjen24 - thank u. And I'm sorry for ur loss as well. I spent most of my adolescent life with my grams basically being my mother. I am feeling very lost and alone right now. And can't turn to her for the 1st time in my life, her words only make me more angry. I just don't even know anymore. If that makes sense.
  • I'm so sorry hun... last year in Oct.. they found my grandfather had lung cancer stage 4 and at that point there was nothing left they could do but put him on hospice too. I lost him in January. He had literally raised me... I considered him my father. I dropped out of school to stay home and take care of him... watching him change and pass was the hardest thing I've ever done. I will pray for u and your family if you ever just want someone to talk to that's been through this I'm always here for u.
  • So sorry I'm goin thru the same wit my grandma as we speak . It's all threw her body now . She's in her 50's but smoked awful. We r jus making her comfortable now to she already on morphine. They gave her 2-4 months. But she's already talking about things n the past an people that have past away. It's jus awful it see an it sux so bad we have to go thru this I feel ur pain :(
  • I'm sorry to hear that, I went through that with my grandma. She was on chemotherapy and was in recession, just last month found another cancer growth. She will get chemo again and meds. She lost the desire to do lots, but her 12 grandkids and this first great grandchild has lifted her spirits!!
    My prayers and thoughts are with you.
  • @wallieheadbaby3 & Mrz_jackson2anpreggo - I'm sorry to both of u. I can't imagine how hard it was to leave school n take care of ur grandpa. And I am thankful that my grams is still " lucid" I don't think I could handle seeing her living in the past. She has her Moments when she starts to slip away but for the most part its easy to keep her attention on the here n now.
  • I'm feeling a bit selfish and don't know what to do. Threw these last few weeks I've at least had the hope that we could fight this and keep her here long enough to meet my unborn son and my brothers unborn child. Well that hope has been shattered. But maybe if my Dr would induce me or strip my membranes to try to get my Lil man here a bit faster then maybe she could meet him and I could at least say goodbye. I am 38 weeks as of tomorrow. Would I be placing my son in danger by asking my Dr to do this?
  • Sorry:(

    No your son would be fine. Its always great if they can cook to the end but majority of csections take place within 2 weeks of due date. Talking to your dr is worth a shot.

    Hospice care can can be amazing
  • @adensmommy0803 I am so sorry about your grandmother. Last July we lost my bf mom to stage 4 lung cancer and my bf is a survivor of stage 2 lymphoma. Hospice care is the best thing fir her at this time and they will help your family alot. I work at the cancer center here in georgia and it is really hard for someone her age to go through the chemo for such progressed cancer. Enjoy the time you have with her and I pray she will get to meet your baby. Huggs and prayers to your family!
  • @Babynewyear2012 - thank You. I wish I could be closer to her she's two hours away n my Dr is saying no more road trips. Most of my family is coming in from all over the country to be with her n I'm stuck at home.
  • Yea that's how she is she had her moments. I'm leaving her house now she was fine the whole time I'm so glad I did not want to see her talking bout stuff from past it all jus scares me an def didn't wanna c her like that but she was ok .
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