anyone that aleady has kids....please help

emyemy
edited July 2011 in VENT (keep it peaceful!)
I feel so bad that my 8 yr old has to sit around the house an watch me lay on the couch, because im on bedrest so I try to entertain him with tv, bored games, computer ect. However every time I allow him to walk next door an play. I always get a call saying that he is being sent home because he doesn't listen. He has very little respect for adults an I just don't know wat to do, it gets worse the further along im getting. He thinks he can do wat he wants. Tonight I yelled then sent him to bed with no tv or radio. He's in bed crying an I hate to hear him cry but im all out of ideas. I just can not get through to him. Please help

Comments

  • mommyo3soon2b4mommyo3soon2b4
    Im going to bump this...the only advice I can give is be consistant on your punishment, follow through and dont give in. Sorry Im not much help but thats what we have learned w our kids...also if dad or s/o is in the picture...always work as a team. Good luck
  • bettybetty
    Good punishment! He will learn to respect his elder when going next door. Next time he goes over, remind him he will get the same punishment plus something else added. And everytime he misbehaves follow the same procedure... HE WILL LEARN!!!
  • bettybetty
    Oh and u can make him write an apology letter to neighbors, since his old enough to write... make him take it to them!!
  • HappyMama92HappyMama92
    Never give into tears while punishing. After the punoshment is done give him a hug and explain why you took away/ sent him to bed or whatever very calmly. Dont yell too much kas then they dont hear what your telling them, they just hear the yell. Sorry i cant be more help.
  • mommyof3girlsmommyof3girls
    I dont have any advise, sorry. But just wanted to say HANG IN THERE! Youre in a tough situation. My 6yr old has been acting up more now that schools out for summer. Its just alot for the little guy to handle all the change going on.
  • mommyo3soon2b4mommyo3soon2b4
    I like the apology letter idea from @betty I would definitely try that!
  • sweetz4sweetz4
    I have an 8 year old as well..forgets what I tell him 1 second after I said it, so he's been grounded until I say otherwise, and making him help me around the house. mind you,i have a 6 year old and a 21 month old at home as well, and what I've found is being consistent is the key.

    one bad move from him,i make him clean...he's even learned how to use the vacuum and throw out the trash. even my 6 year old and 21 month old are learning from him and are now expert picker uppers...
    goodluck to you
  • Texamama3xTexamama3x
    I have a 9 yr old that can sometimes have a smart mouth. He is definitely doing better. He has written apology letters to teachers and I have made him copy the defination of respect 30 times from the dictionary, he hates that. Latley we have just had to threaten him with sentences. He will write "I will listen to adults when they talk to me" 25 times. If he argues about them we double it to 50. Also if he is being really bad we put him to work around the house. He can clean bathrooms, vacuum cars, scrub trash cans, scoup the litter box, etc. Like I said before, he has really improved since we started these punishments. We also always tell him the reason we are punishing him is because we love and care for him so much that we want him to grow up to be a responsible and respectable adult.
  • emyemy
    @betty the apology letter is a great idea, thank u so much I will incorporate that in my punishment. I never thought about that. Thank you
    @sweetz4 lol my son is the same way he forgets b4 he leaves the room. Thank you for the advise I really appreciate it :)
    @mommyof3girls @happymama92 and @mommyo3soon2b4 thank u all so much for the advise and encouragement. Any advise is good advise im lost lol.
    I apologized for yelling but told him that he still had to b punished. He went to bed with no tv, he's writting an apology tomorrow, an he can't go back until I say so.
  • emyemy
    @mamaof3tob that is brilliant, I kinda want to print out ur post an tape it to the wall lol. Thank you!!!
  • mgrosemgrose
    Girl, u have to get him under control now otherwise when he is 15 like my son u are gonna have huge issues!! Every kid is different what works w/ my 15 year old doesn't work with my 10 year old......and by all means let him cry...he is just trying to make u feel bad for punishing him!! I always say I love u but u are just gonna have to cry about it! Good luck n u will find what works just stay strong and know u are doing the right thing
  • Texamama3xTexamama3x
    @emy lol, your welcome, just remember it will be hard at first but eaiser in the long run. Good luck and try not to feel like a bad mother, a bad mother wouldn't care and its obvious you do. It's still hard for me when he starts crying but you have to stay strong and follow through.
  • Texamama3xTexamama3x
    @mgrose is right, they mostly cry to make you feel bad, their not dummies!
  • survivormommie3survivormommie3
    edited July 2011
    I will tell you that you have to put a lot of thought and determination into this. i would recommend that you decide behaviors that are acceptable and what is unacceptable. once you have decided what is what then you need to decide what punishment is equal to that punishment.
    if you want to take it a step further get a poster board and write 5-10 rules that are unacceptable/ punishment worthy. then have 5 punishments that weigh the same as the offense; the more rules he breaks/disobeys then you move from the first punishment (say no tv) and move it to the second (no tv AND no games).
    he needs to know what you expect from him. literally sit down and list off what IS and IS NOT acceptable in your household and then explain how his punishments will work.
    just like other moms have said, do NOT back down. don't let something slide just because you are tired. stay consistent and keep your cool. if you have lost your temper he will only hear your disappointment and yelling. firmly and calmly tell him why he's being punished, enforce the appropriate punishment. then show him you love him with a kiss/hug and let it go.
  • camommycamommy
    I have the same issue with my 11 yr old its getting worse he's hit puberity. He either does extra chores, stands facing the wall with his arms strait out shoulder lvl holding a light can(like small red bull) in each hand he hates that its hard. I've tried the letters at school works sometimes. Once he gets out of trouble my husband asks him why he was in trouble if he can't tell him my husband tells him why and sends him back to his punishment repeats until my son can tell him why he's in trouble.
  • YNVTishYNVTish
    I feel your pain.. I just had my baby last week but my 7 and 9 year old were bored our their mind too. I would promise to take them to the pool the following day then the day would come and physically I couldn't move.

    They gave me Hell fighting and they were miserable sitting up in the house during the summer.

  • bettybetty
    Your very welcomed!! :-)
  • emyemy
    Thank you everybody I really appreciate your help. Everyone has given me a lot of great ideas an have given me hope that he won't get the best of me lol. Starting tomorrow im going to try a lot of these ideas an see which ones work for him. :)
  • one5oneone5one
    Stop sending him next door. When he asks why tell him its his attitude towards adults.
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