No More Intimacy....suggestions?????

vanalkrvanalkr
edited February 2011 in Second Trimester
I'm not trying to be dirty or give ya'll TMI with this post but I need help and have NO ONE to ask....or talk to about it...

Ok....I am in my second trimester and I was told this was when I would begin to feel human again....
But I cannot seem to get it together. My husband and I have not been intimate for quite some time now. We go to bed early to make time for us but just as soon as I get in bed I get relaxed and then I'm zonkked out! Dead Asleep! And it seems like no matter what he trys nothing turns me on.

Poor thing he's trying....He's not normally one to want a LOT of sex anyway..before I got pregnant we were doing it maybe once a week...and he was happy! I've put him off through valentines day, his birthday, and a lot of nights of him trying to get me in the mood. I feel like an awful, terrible wife....I wake up in the mornings and want to cry thinking about how I let him down the evening before...

I am trying really hard to make up for it...keeping the house clean, not complaining, having supper ready every night....but that is no replacement for "OUR TIME"....

Any suggestions? Anyone else have this problem? I'm worried about US....

Comments

  • KatelynDoleMommyOf3KatelynDoleMommyOf3
    I'm having the same problem. And am doing the same things to try to make up for it but it doesn't make up for it. Idk what to do.
  • caroline8_pcaroline8_p
    I have the same problem. We've done nothing since vday. And he has a high sex drive. Mines at zero. I feel bad. But at the same time, my mind doesn't care. I know it bothers him. Oh and his breath makes me gag, its not nasty, just the hormones showing me they r still here!
  • bkunekibkuneki
    I had that probelm in a way... what worked for me was doin sexual things in the morning my bf doesn't mind he likes how it got changed up... I feel bad for not giving him what he likes when he likes it but guess what we e the one carrying the baby(:
  • mamabederkamamabederka
    No worries... I am 32 weeks and my husband and I have been intimate maybe 10 times thru this whole pregnancy. Don't forget, you are growing a human inside you... naturally you will be exhausted! Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. You will only get stressed out! Here is what works for us... my husband gives me back and foot massages and I give him "special attention" in whatever form he chooses. You make your own rules. One night, have him rub you down and then the next night... well... you get it :)
  • momof5momof5
    Try the middle of the day. We have the same problem here. I am just way to tired by the time we lay down so now I try and make up for it by in the morning or afternoon.
  • MamapalmerMamapalmer
    I have the same thing goin on, I'm at 18 weeks and am having light cramping pretty much all the time so sex is rarely an option for us, part of me cares and the other doesnt.. Thankfully my husband is a trooper and being very patient and understanding!
  • gladiator007gladiator007
    Sometimes those moments maybe just for him so set the expectations that you may not orgasm but he can get his release. Lube up. :)
    Good luck
  • Kenyattaw41Kenyattaw41
    GLAD U POSTED THIS. IM 29WKS ND ME N MY BF HAVE ONLY HAD SEX 2-3 TIMES SINCE IVE BEEN PREGGO. I DNT KNOW WAT TO DO EITHER BECUZ WE DNT STAY TOGETHER SO WE CANT CHOOSE MORNING OR AFTERNOON BECUZ EVERYONE IS AT HOME. HE MENTIONS SEX TO ME N I JUST B LIKE OK. BUT I B SO EXAUSTED, I NEVER FEEL LIKE IT. :)
  • 2girls1boy2girls1boy
    I had a wake up call this weekend. I found out the poor guy resorted to phone porn...mobileboner.com if you will
    I was so mad and disappointed but more than that guilty. I had been like you all said....not interested, mortified to think about having sex but when I saw the porn I felt awful.

    So I tried to put his needs ahead of mine and realized how lovely prego sex can really be.
    Cut yourselves some slack ladies but dont forget the poor horn dogs that got us where we are today. Lol
  • ahuyserahuyser
    I'm on the same boat! I just don't want to! It's not that I think he will poke the baby or anything but I just don't want intimacy...
  • loveourlittleoneloveourlittleone
    I'm almost 8 weeks. We went from having sex at least 3 times a week to 3 times a month since I've been pregnant. But HE is the one that doesn't want to. I feel so unattractive.
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    well it makes me feel a little bit better that im not the only one...i still feel terrible about it....almost hopeless...idk what to do :(
  • KingsmamaKingsmama
    I'd try going to bed a bit earlier and set ur alarm to go off early and have morning sex. That way ur refreshed and more willing to go at it hehe. Or try taking a nap mid day that way u can make time for sex b4 bed. Be patient tho if ur not in the mood ur not in the mood. He should understand u r growing a human life inside of u :) happy sex ladies!
  • cjsmommycjsmommy
    I have a cervical stitch so im very hestitabt when it comes to intimacy. My bf have jst learn to go with it and no really bother me about. Im glad he understand but sometimes I wish I could but I hurt so often dat I dont wanna risk it.
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    I don't feel like sex at all anymore. & often I've felt bad...but then I thought..

    I'm throwing up every day
    My feet are swollen
    Finding a comfy position to sleep in is hard
    I'm gaining weight
    My complexion has gone haywire
    And...MY VAGINA IS GOING TO STRETCH TO TEN CM!!!

    Lol I THINK he can deal with minimal sex!!
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    @natashalynn that is something i need to print and frame and hang in my bathroom! thanks! I needed that!
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    @vanalkr I'm glad I can help!! I felt awful...until I realized that even if I didn't have any sexual contact with him for the ten months...I still got the short end of the stick Haha
  • ivette3780ivette3780
    Well ladies am on the same boat here, I just don't seem to be interested in sex at all, am only 9 weeks. I try to keep the house clean and make his favorite dinners, my hubby is the kind of Guy that won't say nothing. But I know he gets upset cause he just rolls over.
  • babiichica922babiichica922
    I had this same problem me and my fiance used to have sex ALL the time b4 I got pregnant. Im 37w5d and we dont do it nearly as often mayb a few times a month but what works 4 me although it sounds horrible is even when I dont want it and he does which isnt often (since he understands how I feel and what I'm goin thru) I do it anyway and after a few mins I begin to enjoy it and want more after its over :)
  • Farryn4PeaceFarryn4Peace
    Well its kinda differeny with me. I spend an exhuasting hr in the shower shaving and preeningmyself. Doing my hair and whatnot only for my bf to come home late as usual and pass right out. I work full timw and am 36wks and cant even see my cookie without hardcore stretching but I still wanna feel wanted. : (
  • ks0117ks0117
    Hey ladies me and my wife use to have sex all the time, but ever since she's gotten pregnant it vanished. I love having sex with her but in no way make her feel like we have to have sex I love her to death and if your husbands do to they will realize that your going through something use guys can't even imagine. GL and congratz to all you futures mothers.
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