i dont know if i want him there

aug5babyaug5baby
edited July 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
So I'm due in 1week 4days i haven't heard from sophias father in maybe 6months. And now he's decides he wants to call me and email me bc he wants to be there for the birth and be a part of her life. In the begining he flipped out about this pregnancy so bad i had to get a restraining order. He had nothing positive to say even said horrible things about my special needs son and hoped our daughter come out like him with sp needs if she doesn't die and rott inside me and kill me in tje process. He said some really fucked up stuff. He ruined the special moment of finding out i was preggers and made this pregnancy stressful and i don't think i wamt him at the birth. I don't want that special moment ruinned. I told him i don't want nothing to do with him and i don't want anything from him but just to be ledt alone. But he's keeping up the emails and calls. I feel like he's up to something. Lile maybe now or has beem trying ro build something up for court. I don't know im gonna do. Or how much more clear i need to be. Or if not allowing him to be there for thw birth affects a custody issue
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Comments

  • Newmommy_11Newmommy_11
    I don't want my daughters father there when I deliver. I broke up with him when I was 3 months and he has acted like a jerk since. I am going to allow him in though because I'm just trying to do the right thing and be civil with him.
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    I tryed being civil. And he went all bi polar on me from wanting to marry me to hoping me and my daughter don't make it. And lifes been great since he stopped bothering me but now when I'm so close he's back. And i just want him tp go away again. @chelsea_firstbaby
  • BriellesMommyBriellesMommy
    edited July 2011
    I'm sorry you have been put in this situation. Buttttttt.... I would say NO! He has not earned it. Has he been helpful at all hun?
  • sopheebaybee143sopheebaybee143
    OMG (totally dislike that phrase but this calls for it) I wudnt want him here either. Who the bleep says things like that? Girl I'd say take me to court u wana see her! Make him spend the money time etc &&enjoy ur labor/birth.
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    Not at all. Nothing zip nada. Just stressfull.
    And i completely agree he has not earned it. But then on some days i have thia nagging lil thought of this is he's first and seeing your child born is one of the most special changing things. And i almost think he should be there. I've already told my dr and fam he is not to be allowed anywhere near. @due8311
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    Well that's what's going to happen. I was kinda thinking if i let him be there he mifht agree to just give me full custody no battle and we can arrange visit when he's up here. (He's moving back to so. Cali maybe400 ml away) @sopheebaybee143
  • sopheebaybee143sopheebaybee143
    U got written items of the things he sed? Make his ass take u to court. Bottom line.
  • mommy2now3mommy2now3
    It will not hurt you in court at all if you don't allow him to be there. My ex was not there for my first son and I also had a restraining order on him. Is your restraining order still in affect? Because he should not be contacting you and if it is and he shows up to the hospital you can have him removed by security or even arrested. He sounds like a piece of shit don't let him ruin this for you. Good luck <3
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    I have everything hes said. Cause he sent it all through text (dumbass) i also have a few police reports one of which has the officer saying he's working with multiple personalities. @sopheebaybee143.
    They only grnted me a temp ro the sherrif could reach him to serve and when the court date for a perm one came i couldn't get off work. @mommy2now3
  • MoroccanmexicanbabyMoroccanmexicanbaby
    The decision of father not being there in delivery has nothing to affect you in court. Some women go into delivery alone nothing outside the normal. But if he does want to be with child then let him. Perhaps he just had time to reflect and give a cchance for Kids to be with father, otherwise he can take u to court if he is paying childsupport.
  • redhead25redhead25
    If you think he's going to use the emails in court then I would reply to his email asking to be on the room and tell him all the things he said as why u don't want him there. That way if he tries to use them and leave that one out u can gladly give it to the judge so it just makes him look like he's withholding info and when they read what he said to you makes him look even worse
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    I've already told him i want nothing from him but to be left alone. And i agree kids should have a father in their lives. But i feel after everything that was said and the type of person he's shown himself to be. My daughter will be a much better prson growing up without him
  • valentinasmommyvalentinasmommy
    He doesn't deserve it. I would block his email address and his number. The court can't make you let him be there. If someone said that to me,there's no way in hell that he'll see her.
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    I blocked his # so he started calling private that called the police and made up a bunch of shit thsts how i got the report saying he's working with muti personalites. I don't know when but he changed his #
    I don't want to change my number or block anything cause i feel its an advantage for me in court. Showing he could have made contact but didn't. Other emails in the last few days. @excitedforbaby
  • valentinasmommyvalentinasmommy
    Who picks up private calls anyway. I sure don't. If you can't show your name,then I don't need to talk to you.lol but he doesn't need that chance to see his baby come into the world. He messed that up. He said some.messed.up stuff about that baby and now wants to see her? Hell no. What real man will say that about his own baby?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    No after comments like that and needing a restraining order I would be affraid to even let him hold her. :ar!
  • MzKamiMzKami
    edited July 2011
    Nzj
  • 2lilblessings2lilblessings
    Dont have him there especially after all the horrible things he said he doesnt deserve at all to be there and if he has a restraining order he shouldnt be contacting u its sad to have a baby with a man like that but shell be ur happiness screw that scumbag
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @sopheebaybee143. @waitingformybaby. @excitedforbaby. @mommy2now3. @du8311. This is th bs email i got woken up to tjis morning "Good morning Danielle. Hey I think its pretty rude and immature to ignore me during a time like this. If you and your husband don't want me at my own daughters birth, then please use your words like an adult and emai me and tell me. Its time you forget about the past because your second child is about to be born and it's time for you to be an adult. I would love to be at my daughters birth, but if u still feel like a little kid and wanna thrown tantrums, fits and keep ignoring me when I try and talk to you then that's on you. Please let me know if I can go to my own daughters birth or if u and you husband/boyfriend don't want me there. Please Danielle just email me back. Take care beautiful. u still feel like a little kid and wanna thrown tantrums, fits and keep ignoring me when I try and talk to you then that's on you. Please let me know if I can go to my own daughters birth or if u and you husband/boyfriend don't want me there. Please Danielle just email me back. Take care beautiful. I'm pissed how dare he me not wanting him there has nothing ro do with anyone else.but with his actions. I need to calm down and figure out how to word my response with out completely flipping out on him.
  • mommy2now3mommy2now3
    Well are you married or have a bf? Because if you do what do you need him for at all? I like how he goes from calling you a child and being an ass to calling you beautiful. This might just be me but I would email back tell him no you don't want him there and don't even call him when you go to the hospital. Tell him that you can forgive the past but you will never forget and what he did was wrong and talking about acting like an adult, it sounds like to me he needs to grow up. There are alot of men that want to be there and their wives/girlfriends want them there to and they still miss the delivery don't feel bad about not letting him be there.
  • Mama_busy_beeMama_busy_bee
    It wont affect.custody. Just fill out the birth cert so father isnt named. Even if u put his name, if ur not married a paternity test will be ordered prior to any custody case. (I was a family law paralegal). Birth cert forms are done after your in recovery.
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @mommy2now3. I'm single. He's teffering to my sons dad who has been some what of a support system sincr i found out i was preggo and sophias father flipped out on me. Your right he has a lot of growing up to do. He's spoiled his parents pay his through everything and i don't think he's handling this not getting hia way thing very well. And i really think these emails are just his attempt to cover his ass in court for what he's said before
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @mama_busy_bee. Even if pigs started flying i wouldn't have him on the birth cert. There will be a paternity tst done anyways. We will be going through the courts I'm sure
  • Mama_busy_beeMama_busy_bee
    Dont let him be there. Just as he hasnt been there all this time. Can u block his email address?
  • mommy2now3mommy2now3
    You should make him take you to court if he wants to have any rights at the beginning he wont get to much are you going to breastfeed? Baby can't be gone to long if you are. Not sure where you live but courts seem to favor the mom unless he can prove you are completely unfit. Just keep copies of everything
  • valentinasmommyvalentinasmommy
    He's dumb. Hes being immature. I still would ignore him. Ha! I'll think to myself "ill show you immature"
  • ahendricks09ahendricks09
    If the restraining order is still active then by law he cant be there .. and as for custody and stuff 1. make sure you have copies of the stuff he has sent you etc 2. if his name isnt placed on the birth certificate in order to get custody he would have to take a paternity test
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @mommy2now3. Yes i plan on breast feeding. And I'm not to worried about what he wants to try and prove in court. I work go to school have a 4yr old sp needs son who is well taken care of i keep a very clean house. I'm not a criminal i don't do drugs. @mama_busy_bee. I'm not sure i can but will look into it.
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @ahendricks09. I was only able to get a temp ro. The sheriff was unable to serve him. And when the court date came around i was unable to take off work. Which if i had been able to would have been a waste of time a loss of money for me. Bc the sheriff couldn't serve him they would have either dismissed it or givem a new date and if they still couldn't it would have gone nowhere. This is what i was tols by the clerk
  • aug5babyaug5baby
    @excitedforbaby that email and a call was what i woke up to at 6 F-ing am I'm so mad. I already can't sleep and that what wakes me up. I just wanted to beat the. Crap out of him with a pillow case full of soap. I just can not believe him.
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