what do I do?

jenzoe1 · July 2011

I haven't been on in awhile because I have been a little busy with my newborn.

Here is the deal... I have two boys 15 and 11 from a previous marriage. I have custody of my boys and their dad sees them every other weekend. I have never bad mouthed their dad, EVER!! Im so tired of hearing what my ex says about me to my kids.. The latest.... He told my kids that he made it easy for me and my current husband to have another baby, since he supports my family. He told them he pays all our bills and feeds the whole household.. As if this wasn't bad enough.. He told them that Reed(my newborn) is only their half brother, and they shouldn't refer to him as their brother.. My kids are upset and feel very torn. They love my husband (their step father), but they aren't allowed to mention him or the new baby in front of their dad.. Im heartbroken! Any words of wisdom??

PrayingForMiracles · July 2011

Wow... what an ass! I have no advice but a sibling is a sibling no matter how. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Your kids will grow up to see what an ass he is.

Fashion_Junky91 · July 2011

What a meathead !!! Ugh this is where u must steer your children in the right direction and tell them otherwise

jenzoe1 · July 2011

@prayingformiracles... Thank you! I agree with you.. I always try and be the better person, and not bad mouth their dad.. In the end, my kids are starting to see right through him. It just gets really frustrating.. The marriage was bad, but Im a damn good mother! Sometimes, I just wish he would give credit where credit is due.. Thanks for listening!

PrayingForMiracles · July 2011

Not a problem. My mom is going through the same thing (without the newborn) with my little brother and his dad.

valentinasmommy · July 2011

That's bs. My bf has a few half brothers and call them his blood brothers. He got mad once because I referred to them as his half brother. That dad has some problems. The kids can call him their brother if they want to.

beaded_bunny · July 2011

I'm sorry your ex is being an immature rodent but on the brightside your boys are old enough to make their own decisions and see how the family really works.

SalasMommy · July 2011

What an asshole!!!! You should Talk to your ex about it. And tell your kids other wise

♥ marline

Mamato2boys · July 2011

oh wow hes a jerk! I went through the same thing as a child when my parents divorced but it actually went both ways bc they both bad mouthed each other (mostly my mom) but the best thing i would say is best is that you make it clear that your kids are all loved, and make sure they know that what thei father says is not true! But obviously not by stooping to his level and mouthing on him too but just kinda simply point some things out here and there. if they fall for his lies they will hold a grudge against u or even their stepdad its better that they make their own decisions on who to believe although it seems obvious thet they know their father is fibbing and prolly pseaking out of anger. If i were you i would want to have a private conversation with their father and let him know that it is not acceptable to be or speak that way about your life and rather than to spoil the evenings with your boys by speaking negatively about u guys he should focus on ur sons best interest and enjoy his time with them! Sorry but stuff like this irks me and my parents divorce seemed to have taken forever and it had its effects on all of us as children (there was 4 of us & my "half" brother ) >:D<

survivormommie3 · July 2011

mediation!!!! That's not healthy for the boys and they are going to feel torn the rest of their lives if he doesn't get a hold of himself (your ex) and admit what he said/did was wrong. if he continues you can actually take him to court for mental anguish. so iwould be telling his butt if he continues that you will be taking him to court, and the boys are allowed to talk about whomever they please. if you hear one more comment about his "rules" then you will take him down.

one5one · July 2011

My daughter is 11 too. She goes off to my moms sisters home for some weekends hete & there. (My parents are gone so aunt has helped as a psuedo gramma) but sometimes she talks shit. My daughter tells me what they say over there & I tell her the truth so she sees the real side of things. Aunt said I'm a hoarder but kid knows we are cleaning out for baby so yes I have a pile of junk! But I'm not keeping it! I'm donating it. Just waiting till I sorted & organized & decided wat to keep & toss so I don't gotta call donation 100 times! Ugh. Maybe talking to the kids can help. Also tell kids to maybe let dad know it makes them feel uncomfortable to hear this when they visit. Talk to ex if he continues.

letysfirst · July 2011

Agree with the ladies, hes an ass, ur kids r old enough n their dad is hurting them... U should talk to ur ex

mrs_shu · July 2011

Id call the ex up and rip him a new asshole.

jenzoe1 · July 2011

Thank you all so much for the feedback!! I did speak to my ex via text. I asked him nicely to STOP brainwashing our kids. I told him that he was only hurting himself because the kids see right through him. He has an excuse for everything. I just try and do the right thing by my kids and teach them right from wrong. Im just really frustrated and at my wits end.. Unfortunatley, the douche bag will be in my life forever..

[Deleted User] · August 2011

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Mythica · August 2011

My sister is only my half sister from my mother's previous marriage, and I never think of her as being "half"... I've always called her my sister. I only explain it to people when they ask why I talk about "my sister's father" in a situation.

As far as him lying to the kids.... my mother has always told me to make sure I'm the bigger person and never badmouth my daughter's father to her or any other children I might have. When I express concerns over him doing exactly as your ex is doing, she tells me to just not worry about it. Because yeah, it hurts, but the children really will see the truth in the end. Let them make their own decisions and opinions about their father. That way, it doesn't come back on you. He might think so, but what does that matter? You know the truth, you know who you are. You know what you did and didn't do.

jo32ni · August 2011

He sounds like my father when I was growing up...n still to this day my father is like that and I'm 26 will be 27 in 26 days...I've told my dad I don't want to hear it and he still makes his little comments....well up until I got married and asked both my step dad and my father to walk me down the aisle...needles to say because I wanted them both my dad doesn't talk to me anymore....so my step father just walked me down the aisle...

what do I do?

Comments